Intrepid private detective Roger L. Simon may — it’s early to tell, but the signs aren’t promising — have discovered signs of liberal fascism in the campaign of inspiring GOP candidate Barack Obama. Fuck that noise, Neville, you’re saying to me, and rightly so! But see for yourself:
Maybe I missed something [ Doubt it! -- Sifu ], but the “Change” poster behind Barack Obama seems to have, well, changed. (There’s that word again. [ Good catch! -- Sifu]) The words “We Can Believe In” have been added to the bottom, for the first time acknowledging, pace Orwell, that not all changes are equal (although some changes are more equal than others). Nazi Germany, for an example, was a change.
If this is true, and obviously I wouldn’t want to say for sure until some readers have researched the subject, the conclusion is unavoidable: Barack Obama, rather than being the good conserative we had all believed, is secretly liberal (fascist), and wants nothing more than to propel the Nazi party to power in this country — planting his seductively totalitarian message in our own back front yards, highway medians, and possibly bay windows.
These liberal fascist remoras circle us ever more hungrily. May we have the whalitude to resist their suctiony oppresion.
January 27, 2008 at 10:16 am
We’ve seen this before. A similar dynamic defined much of Nazi Germany. But we can come far short of that and still overshoot the mark of what is desirable by a wide margin.
January 27, 2008 at 10:56 am
Is their a drug for whalitud? I find mine is flagging. I’d like some sort of weekend version, like Cialis.
January 27, 2008 at 11:06 am
other examples of change:
entropy–so matter can transform from one state to another, and in fact must do so by some law promulgated by scientists [paging dr. mengele].
the quarters and dimes in my pocket. how did they get there? what members of the right wing oligarchy had to suffer in order for me to have this change?
there are others. but to list something…well, the nazis made a lot of lists, yaknowwhati’msayin?
January 27, 2008 at 12:10 pm
I thought the gist of Senator Obama’s response to last week’s reams of inter-, intra- and metaparty commentary on the whole Reagan Ideas thing was that not all transformation is created equal.
Of course, that’s just what he _said_
I’m not sure where Simon thinks he’s going with this – his eagle eye has ferreted out that Obama is trying to communicate one of last week’s major talking points? That wacky liberal Senator agrees with pretty much every non-suicidal person on earth and most of multicellular plants and animals that not all change is good change?
This man writes detective stories?
January 27, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Of course, we cannot scrutinize what politicians say, because they say things only to attract voters and what they say is diametrically opposed to what they believe.
For example, Obama said, “Ronald Reagan changed the trajectory of America in a way that Nixon did not, and Bill Clinton did not.” What he really thinks is “Ronald Reagan sucks, and as soon as I get into the Oval Office I’m going to change all the horrible things that Reagan did to the country.” He’s just saying that Reagan was a great guy to lure over old Reagan voters. He’s actually on our side; he’s just being sneaky. Vote for Obama.
In that vein, I’m voting for Ron Paul, because I believe in education and Ron Paul says he wants to abolish the NEA. But I know that he really thinks the NEA is great and wants to expand the program. Because that’s how politics works.
January 27, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Is it possible to be both a Muslim AND a fascist?
January 27, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Here’s one for Roger L. Simon
Is this change on Giuliani’s part good, bad, or moot? I’m leaning toward option #3 but would like guidance from an expert.
January 27, 2008 at 1:11 pm
He’s just saying that Reagan was a great guy to lure over old Reagan voters.
He actually isn’t, though, @§©¡¡-†®À§H. It is possible for somebody to be very effective in moving something in the wrong direction.
January 27, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Okay Sifu, I has a video for you. I’d like you to explain how Obama, even in the slightest, suggests that Reagan moved the country in the wrong country, as you believe.
Obama says:
“[Reagan] put us on a fundamentally different path because the country was ready for it. I think they felt like, you know, with all the excesses of the 60′s and 70′s, and government had grown and grown, but there wasn’t much sense of accountability in term of how it was operating, and I think people just tapped in– [Reagan] just tapped in to what people were already feeling.”
Obama is saying a few things here. One of them is just a bunch of GOP talking points: big government, cultural excess, accountability. The other thing Obama is saying is that the American people were sick of the way things were going, and that Reagan harnessed this disillusionment.
So, you say that Reagan pushed the country in the wrong direction (I agree), but Obama says that “the country was ready for it.” So, we were ready to be pushed in the wrong direction? WTF? We were ready, dare I say “wanting”, Iran-Contra, Central American death squads, rampant fucking of the poor and the Safety Dance? What sort of “Americans” does Obama think we are?
And you can’t possibly watch that video and tell me that Obama says all that stuff to express his discontent with Reagan. He looks more like he’s fawning over Reagan than disagreeing with what happened on his watch.
January 27, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I agree with everything he said, and I think Reagan was horrible, so there we are.
January 27, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I gotta go with Sifu Tweety on this. Reagan won in a landslide. Obviously people were buying what he was selling. And he absolutely did have a bigger impact on the direction of the country, even after he left office, than did Nixon or Clinton. He put it on the path facing the wrong direction, to be sure, but everything Obama said is accurate and none of it is an open endorsement for either Reagan or his policies.
January 27, 2008 at 3:33 pm
I dunno – for a person who parses what he has to say as closely as the Senator does, I thought he framed it oddly, but we have it from him as recently as last night’s victory speech that it was not an endorsement, so we can all agree that’s what he’s currently saying.
Which is why it’s a little weird that Simons is having to examine the entrails of birds to grasp that he might be signalling it at the same time.
January 27, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Will somebody rid me of these remoras???
January 27, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Why Punko, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world… but for Whales?
January 27, 2008 at 4:02 pm
What a band of loathsome vipers I have nursed in my whalish bosom who will let their lord be insulted by these low-born remorae!!
January 27, 2008 at 4:12 pm
OMFG I was quoting the wrong movie. OMFG. O. M. F. G.
January 27, 2008 at 4:16 pm
I’d like to start a rap band called OMFG: “Original Motherfuckers of Groove” or some such nonsense. Pinko? In on this? We could be the UTFO of WTF.
January 27, 2008 at 4:18 pm
CHANGE
comes from within
my son
January 27, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Obama: “Ronald Reagan was a transformative political figure because he was able to get Democrats to vote against their economic interests to form a majority to push through their agenda – an agenda that I objected to.”
Don’t let that get in the way of your rant, though, ASCII-man.
January 27, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Thanks, The Editors!
Finally liberals can claim “Prussian Blue” as one of our own.
Hail to Victory!
January 27, 2008 at 7:41 pm
I like Simons Website, he’s got Fred Thompson
Blogging!
Dead man blogging.
Here’s Fred’s blurb, advertising his Blogging on pajamas media (which I cannot find on that site) “It’s clear that all of you and our many friends across the blogosphere and the Web are part of a true information revolution“
January 27, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Obama isn’t Jewish?
January 27, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Maybe he’s the Jew of White Fascist Liberalism.
January 27, 2008 at 8:19 pm
re: melior
First off, that was a week after Obama did the video interview, and after he had caught a lot of flak for the Reagan thing.
Secondly, no where in the actual video does Obama put Reagan in anything less than positive terms. The only time Obama backtracks is when it becomes clear that he’s going to lose political points if he doesn’t.
Obama was testing the waters; he wanted to see if he could grab some Reagan holdovers without losing a significant part of his base. He can’t. And Obama is better off without them.
January 27, 2008 at 8:26 pm
No, no, no! The Gipper was all that is opposite from LibFasc, He was a Conservative Communist.
January 27, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Hippies do drugs.
Hitler did drugs.
Any questions?
January 27, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Clearly the black man is the fascist of liberal fascism, as Jesse Owens only won gold medals in Nazi Berlin.
Also–loved the Whales pun. Don’t care if it’s from the right movie.
January 28, 2008 at 12:55 am
I am so playing bass in that band. I will allow you to be my hairpiece, Sifu. I will need an expressive and bountiful headly countenance while laying down hot slabs of Original Recipe Mother Fucking Groove, you can but begin to dig the eleven herbs and spices.
January 28, 2008 at 8:58 am
From Roger L.’s comments, from one “Lem”:
Couldn’t tell if this was parody, until I read these follow-up:
Parody? Sadly, yes.
Still made me chuckle.
January 28, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Remoras are the parasites of Liberal Fascism.
January 28, 2008 at 10:15 pm
I want to be in the OMFG.
January 28, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Nazi Germany, for an example, was a change.
My pants, for example, are on fire. Beat that.
January 30, 2008 at 10:42 am
“So, you say that Reagan pushed the country in the wrong direction (I agree), but Obama says that “the country was ready for it.” So, we were ready to be pushed in the wrong direction?”
Exactly. Never underestimate the destructive power of a complacent, smug, morally naive plebiscite.
January 30, 2008 at 10:51 am
“My pants, for example, are on fire. Beat that.”
One of the more curious comments I;ve seen at Poor Mans.
January 30, 2008 at 8:00 pm
You have to admit, though, it was pretty hot.
February 1, 2008 at 10:00 am
34: My apologies, but I often feel that a nonsense response is the only response I can muster when Goldberg is involved.
January 28, 2009 at 10:29 pm
I can’t quite tell where the sarcasm ends and the satire begins, here.