It’s a tie! While Hillary Clinton has to be happy with her performance today, doing better than anybody was predicting as recently three days ago, Obama has to be happy with his performance, performing as he did dramatically better than anybody was predicting as recently as a week and a half ago. I have to imagine that – given the results we’ve seen tonight – there’s just no way Hillary Clinton is going to drop out of the race. Barack Obama, by maintaining approximately the same lead in pledged delegates he had before today’s contests, has to be feeling good about the prospect of going into the convention with a significant lead in pledged delegates, a prospect that will likely sway superdelegates to his side. Hillary at this point has to know that the superdelegates are the key to the nomination, and will redouble her efforts to bring them into her camp – a prospect that will surely be easier after tonight. It also seems perfectly clear that Democratic insiders – worried about a protracted primary fight, and the damage it will do to the party – will be strongly tempted to support Obama. That said, I think this can’t but help Hillary in the court of public opinion. Of course, Obama has maintained tremendous ability to raise and spend money, which may prove decisive.
One thing’s for sure: winning big in Pennslyvania will be absolutely critical for both candidates.
Rinse, repeat. Can we just have the convention now and get this nonsense over with? I can clear out some space in my den for us to use.
… toldja.
March 4, 2008 at 9:00 am
What are you going to do if Hillary gets zero percent of the vote, has an aneurysm, and dies?
…actually, it still works.
March 4, 2008 at 9:38 am
I’m in! I’ll bring salsa and chips.
March 4, 2008 at 9:39 am
The way I see it, Clinton owes it to all her supporters to stay in this ’til the bitter end. She and her supporters ardently believe that Clinton is the absolute best chance this country has of reversing the horror of the Bush years. For her to drop out before she is absolutely and thoroughly defeated makes no sense from their perspective.
I believe that Obama stands a better chance of beating McCain than does Clinton.
*ducks and covers*
But Senator Clinton certainly doesn’t, and neither do ~50% of Democratic primary voters.
I just don’t see how this is resolved today unless Obama wins in a blow-out in both Texas and Ohio.
March 4, 2008 at 10:19 am
Thanks STF for that, now I don’t have to watch Brooks and
DunnShields tonight.March 4, 2008 at 10:52 am
STF is on the green in one. Nicely struck.
Now can we finally just have a single CW machine that cranks this shit out, instead of an entire media apparatus that makes trite observations seem inescapable?
“Those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.”
March 4, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I can’t hope to compete with The Editors…
But this is my version of the CNN/Obama transcript. Take it or leave it!
______________________________________________
Moderator: Senator Obama, I’d like to ask you now about a difficult subject for you. Earlier on this week, you received an endorsement from the controversial figure Louis Farrakhan, who said, “I’d rather that half-devil was in the White House than that white bitch.”
Now, Mr Farrakhan is on record as making a number of anti-Semitic statements. Can you reassure American Jews that you reject those statements?
Senator Obama: Well, I have denounced his disgraceful remarks on many occasions, and I have a great deal of support…
Moderator: Ah-ha, you denounce Farrakhan, but do you reject his endorsement?
Obama: Well I can’t stop anyone hating me less than other candidates…
Moderator: But do you reject him, Senator?
Obama: Yes, I reject him.
Moderator: OK, so you reject him, but is that repudiation? Do you repudiate him?
Obama: Doesn’t that count as a repudiation?
Moderator: You repudiate, but do you eschew him? Perhaps I should remind the audience that in 1963, Louis Farrakhan said he wished “to stick forks in the eyes of rabbis” and that he once tried to distract people on Yom Kippur by coughing loudly for the whole day?
Obama: Yes, I am aware of what he said, as are we all, and I have on many occasions…
Moderator: So do you eschew him?
Moderator 2: If you saw Farrakhan, in front of you, right now, would you spit in his face? Would you spit right in his face, Senator?
Moderator: Would you spit on his grave even after he is dead?
Obama: I don’t see that that’s necessary.
Moderator: So how can you assure American Jews that you don’t personally plan to have Israel demolished, sold and converted into a giant mosque dedicated to the perpetrators of 9/11?
Obama: As I was saying before, I have a lot of support from the Jewish community for my campaign, and rebuilding the Jewish-African American alliance that fought for civil rights is part of my project. Now, I regard Israel’s security as central to our Middle Eastern policy and…
Moderator: We have to return to this issue, I’m afraid, Senator. Isn’t it true your pastor’s daughter’s cousin’s boyfriend’s friend published an article in a student magazine praising Louis Farrakhan for his excellent bow-tie? And in fact, awarding the Nation of Islam his magazine’s annual prize for Achievements in Bow-Ties? Do you denounce and reject that award?
Obama: I have always condemned anti-Semitism in quite clear language and I have said that sometimes I disagree with my pastor’s daughter’s cousin’s boyfriend’s friend’s magazine on a number of issues.
Moderator 2: Have you repudiated the comments of Pastor Scaryblackdude Nutjob, who greeted Farrakhan in Georgia last week and praised him with words I imagine went like, “Yo, my main man, Farrakhan, I dig that Jew-hating jive, brother!”
Obama: Are you sure that quote’s even accurate?
Moderator 2: You know what I mean. I can’t do the lingo.
Obama: Well I have no actual connection to this particular individual but obviously I condemn, repudiate, reject, denounce and eschew…
Moderator: You know, this may sound kind of funny, but… The other week this er… African-American guy was trying to break into my car…
Moderator 2: Do you reject and repudiate this attempt by one of your own to steal my colleague’s car?
Moderator: More to the point, can you assure me and other moderate Americans that it was not in fact you, who was trying to break into my car? I mean, you look pretty similar… I couldn’t say for sure you were the guy…
Obama: I was in Wisconsin that week. It was on TV.
Moderator: Good point. Can I ask you about the powder issue? I mean you used to… you know, right?
Obama: Well, as I explained in my memoir, I grew up as a troubled teenager, unsure of my identity, without a father, like many of my generation, and occasionally…
Moderator: No, what I mean is… can you get me some?
Obama: I beg your pardon?
Moderator 2: I mean we got some friends over this weekend, a little new to the neighbourhood, and we were looking to party, and we thought you might be able to get us a little something to put us in the mood?
Obama: I can’t believe you’re asking me this.
Moderator: Senator, let me rephrase that – have you got some blow? You know we’re good for it.
Moderator 2: I mean, we figured you’d be able to help, seeing that… If you don’t have any on you right now, maybe you know the right guy to go to around here?
Police Officer: Hey, hey, hold it right there!
(Moderators hide)
Police Officer: Hey you, can you come to the side a moment, sir?
Obama: What? Are you crazy? This is live on television – it’s the candidates’ debate! I wasn’t about to… I’m not a… Is this a sting?
Police Officer: Sir, can you come with me to the side, sir?
Police Officer 2: You heard him! Just what in the hell do you think you’re doing?
Obama: I’m participating in the CNN Democratic presidential candidates’ debate!
Police Officer 2: Yeah, and what would you be doing in that?
Obama: I’m running for President! I’m the junior Senator for Illinois!
Police Officer 2: Smart guy, huh? Book ‘im, Danny. Maybe we’ll take this boy down the station and straighten him out.
Police Officer: Didn’t we pull this guy over earlier today?
(Senator Obama arrested, taken off set. Senator Clinton waits for her question)
Moderator: That was close! Did you catch what Obama told that officer?
Moderator 2: I think he said, “What the fuck you at, fool?” Or at least that’s what I’m telling the Washington Post. I don’t always know what they’re saying, you know? Good questions, by the way – still the best in the business!
Moderator: Thanks!
March 4, 2008 at 3:15 pm
You’re called up to the bigs, kid!
March 4, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I actually hope you’re correct Sifu because us PA voters would like to cast a meaningful primary vote this year. We don’t care so much about all you people in states that come after PA like NC and IN. What’s important is that us PA voters get to cast meaningful primary votes. Of course, the month and a half between now and Apr 22 would be interminable, so for everyone’s sake* let’s just hope that Hillary hangs on long enough to lose big in PA and drop out.
*everyone’s sake does not include NC and IN voters
March 4, 2008 at 4:50 pm
[...] There are often days when I wonder why I blog. As usual, someone gets the sentiment expressed above much better, and much funnier. Mr. Tweety [...]
March 4, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I agree with Calvin Trillin who long ago explained the reason he doesn’t write about “who’s going to win the election?” is because we’ll all know after the election who won it.
March 4, 2008 at 6:34 pm
we’ll all know after the election who won it.
Most of the time.
March 4, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Can’t wait to see what happens. Whether or not you’re jumping the gun by proclaiming this a “tie”, ties don’t exactly help Mrs. Clinton. She needs to make up the ground she lost during her twelve-state losing streak. The super-delegate fiasco in the Democratic party is utterly disgusting, the antithesis of democracy.
Need proof? Google: “Jason Rae”–a 21-year-old super delegate from Wisconsin. The young boy is clearly less informed (and thus no more qualified) than the typical American voter to make an informed decision about the candidates. Clearly, the creep cares more about his own power, and lunch dates with Chelsea, than he does about American democracy. And yet, Clinton supporters find themselves in the unsettling position of having to defend the notion that voices like his are more relevant than the will of the people.
I’ll say it again: Ties do not help Mrs. Clinton. If she is unable to surpass Obama in the popular vote, she should concede the nomination and reimburse the super-delegate whose endorsements she has purchased. Either that or admit that she is on-board with the funky rationale that handed George W. Bush the 2000 election.
March 4, 2008 at 9:42 pm
an addendum to Alex Higgins’ wonderful screed:
Moderator 2: Hey, what’s that ruckus out in the hall?
Moderator: I think someone was shouting “don’t tase me, bro”
Moderator 2: Ooookay. On with the debate. Ms. Clinton, exactly how did you remove the bloodstains after killing Vince Foster?
March 5, 2008 at 1:42 am
OT: The worst album covers of all time, according to Der Spiegel:
http://einestages.spiegel.de/external/ShowAuthorAlbumBackground/a1291/l0/l0/F.html#featuredEntry
Click on the little arrows on the right to navigate. Lots of good material there.
March 5, 2008 at 2:24 am
Mr. Higgins: you are quite correct, sir.
March 5, 2008 at 2:26 am
[...] Tonight’s analysis today « Liberal Fascism These abstractions, when done well, are always pretty. (tags: politics primaries) [...]
March 5, 2008 at 2:43 am
This election has been over for a month.
What did Hillary accomplish tonight? Cutting into Obama’s lead by 10-20 delegate? For what 50 million bucks?
This is a farce, she should drop out, but because she has a $100 million megaphone she must continue to perpetrate the lie that she can get the nomination without the popular vote behind her. The super delegates aren’t stupid, they’re not going to overturn the will of the people when all is said and done. There’s nothing to offer the most watched group in the world come June. Florida and Michigan shouldn’t count because everyone agreed before hand that they wouldn’t.
What this does do is turn-off at least a quarter of Obama and Clinton supporters towards the other. Hillary is running commercials that McCain could run against Obama, a major no-no when it comes to party solidarity and the big picture, winning in November.
I still think that our turnout number will hold up, but remember we have seven more weeks of this bullshit now before Pennsylvania. McCain is just chilling. This might be the stupidest election ever, because when you extrapolate forward Clinton cannot win, because the SD’s won’t cut a back room deal. Our turnout number are our saving grace, and I guess the perception of a race keep interest high. At the end of this Clinton’s supporters will scratch their heads when they realize she had been out of it, maybe 1/4 don’t vote for Obama.
The media doesn’t care they’ll make a race where there is none with punditry in one set, and then bust out an accurate map with the actual likely scenarios to come.
Of all of the states don’t ruin Obama in Ohio. Shit. The Democrats are once again attempting snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, because of Hillary’s entitlement problem and the media need to make a race where there is none. We should saving money and going after McCain. Now Obama who will be the nominee has to field attacks from Clinton and McCain. Retarded, all around retarded.
March 5, 2008 at 2:46 am
Mr. Higgins, I think we have our Fall production. Everyone pick your character and meet behind the club house for auditions, tomorrow at noon. Jazz pants required.
March 5, 2008 at 6:25 am
Pinko Punko is Crash Davis.
March 5, 2008 at 9:25 am
This post needs to be recycled in six weeks.
Just change “Pennsylvania” to “Puerto Rico.”
March 5, 2008 at 10:02 am
Wow. Prescient in a scary way.
Scarier than a talking dinosaur.
March 5, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Sir: what do you plan to do about THIS?
March 5, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Snarki: Nice!
Sifu Tweety: Amazing – reading that post would have saved me paying attention to American politics for the last 4 weeks.
The Editors: I’ll show myself out then.
March 6, 2008 at 10:05 am
AH: Brevity. Soul. Wit.
March 6, 2008 at 11:26 am
Uli, point taken…
But!
Brevity:
Without brevity:
March 6, 2008 at 3:53 pm
AH: I meant *the transcript* was quite correct. Always read what I mean to say.
March 6, 2008 at 4:27 pm
“But!
Yes, brevity != wit.
Also, reject ≈ denounce.
Tune in tomorrow for the next exciting episode of Net Pedant.
March 7, 2008 at 3:33 am
Also, reject ≈ denounce.
I’m not sure if that’s a ‘not equals’ sign…
But for most practical purposes, even pedantic ones, reject = denounce.
For instance: If I ask a girl if she’d like to get a coffee sometime and she denounces me, I’m pretty sure that also counts as a rejection.
Tim Russert, however, would ask a few follow-up questions just to make sure.
Which might be worth a sketch… but I also have a job and we all need to move on with our lives.
March 7, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Invest. Heavily.
March 7, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I believe the squiggly equals sign means “approximately equal to.”
This has been today’s episode of Net Pedant.
April 21, 2008 at 12:59 pm
[...] Posted by Sifu Tweety Fish under Uncategorized All the search and replace that’s fit to print: It’s a tie! While Hillary Clinton has to be happy with her performance today, doing better than [...]