March 20, 2008
It appears that my prior post about Barack Obama’ speech about race contained a serious factual error. After careful fact-checking, it has been determined that the transcript and videos referenced in that post were nothing but clever forgeries designed to undermine American patriotism. Study of Mr. Obama’s kerning and countertops has enabled me to reconstruct the TRUE transcript of his so-called ’speech’, which I present to you here and now:
“I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see,
I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see.
When I kill all the whities I see, then whitey he won’t bother me,
I’m gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whities I see.
Then I’ll get a white woman who’s wearing a navy blue sweater..”
That speech took 40 minutes, with commercials. Again, we apologize for the error.
… Chris Lepore has the video from a recent Obama rally at the VFW:
… Oliver Willis catches Angry Black Man Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in some Obama-esque distortions of his true beliefs:
One of the common myths about me was repeated last week when a friend of mine was playing in his weekly basketball league and a teammate asked him, “Why was Kareem always so angry?” That’s not the first time I heard this charge. What’s weird about it is that every morning when I get out of bed, bluebirds, squirrels, and deer help me get dressed while we sing “We Are the World.” By the way, squirrels really suck at tying shoes. And deer often mumble the lyrics.
Even that doesn’t make me angry.
Oh, really, Lew? Then explain THIS:
Roger, Roger. A young passenger in Airplane! notices that co-pilot Roger Murdock (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) bears a strong resemblance to a certain sports star. “Wait a minute! I know you,” says the boy. “You’re Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.” Murdock insists the youngster is confused, but the boy rattles on: “I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try … except during the playoffs.” That’s it. Murdock snaps: “The hell I don’t! LISTEN, KID! I’ve been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I’m out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes!”
These secret black Muslims are sneaky. But their temper always gives them away.
March 21, 2008 at 1:41 am
Images by Tyrone Greene
Dark and lonely on the summer night.
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
Watchdog barking - Do he bite?
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
Slip in his window,
Break his neck!
Then his house
I start to wreck!
Got no reason –
What the heck!
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
C-I-L-L …
My land - lord …
Def!
March 21, 2008 at 2:31 am
See videos: Shame On Joe Scarborough, MSM and Obama Parts 2, 3 and 1
Scarborough wants the public to believe a lie. Scarborough calls Rev. Wright’s statements about Nagasaki and Hiroshima in his sermon a “hateful tirade.” The American people don’t deserve to be manipulated and lied to.
March 21, 2008 at 5:23 am
Homey don’t play dat.
March 21, 2008 at 6:32 am
and this is why we love the editors.
aimai
Was the first post a routine done by Eddie Murphy for Saturday Night Live umpteen thousand years ago? it looked familiar, and not just from Obama’s version.
March 21, 2008 at 6:59 am
I don’t remember it well, but I think Frank is closer, it was on ‘In Living Color’ and it was a skit about some old Delta Blues man. Or maybe it was Eddie Murphy.
March 21, 2008 at 7:39 am
But I never saw anything but eddie murphy on SNL, so I’m pretty sure that must have been it. I never saw In Living Color.
aimai
March 21, 2008 at 7:47 am
TheEds’ post refers to an old SNL sketch with Garrett Morris. Truly brilliant stuff.
And props to Fred X. Quimby for the Murphy piece.
Now somebody needs to dig up the video for “Kill the White People” FTW.
March 21, 2008 at 7:55 am
Eh, what else I got to do this morning?
Kill the White People
March 21, 2008 at 8:12 am
“TheEds’ post refers to an old SNL sketch with Garrett Morris. Truly brilliant stuff.
No. It was Eddie Murphy, on SNL. Many years ago, but after Garrett Morris’ days with the show.
March 21, 2008 at 8:13 am
See that is the best evidence of racism in our society! We can’t properly identify the personage who made the skit about ‘kill every whitey I see’? Why? Because we BLOCK IT OUT, we can’t handle the truth about racial bitterness, so we bury it under a subconscious fog so thick we can’t even remember crucial details about it, such as when or where we saw it.
I rest my case.
March 21, 2008 at 8:59 am
75k: Peter Cook & Dudley Moore / Neil Sedaka
Lifer Follies
Warden…..George Coe
Director…..Peter Cook
Assistant…..Gilda Radner
First Prisoner…..Dan Aykroyd
Second Prisoner…..Chevy Chase
Third Prisoner…..Garrett Morris
Fourth Prisoner…..John Belushi
March 21, 2008 at 9:01 am
“Then I’ll get a white woman who’s wearing a navy blue sweater..”
I think we’ve found our Gigi.
March 21, 2008 at 10:10 am
[...] Man, I was really pretty impressed with Obama’s speech on Tuesday, so you can color me totally fucking surprised to learn the when you adjust the kerning of the font on the prepared text and think real hard about the senator’s countertops, that the stuff the dude actually said was pretty fucked up. [...]
March 21, 2008 at 11:19 am
“We can’t properly identify the personage who made the skit about ‘kill every whitey I see’?”
But there’s been so many!
March 21, 2008 at 11:27 am
Great catch,awesome snark
March 21, 2008 at 11:31 am
Always new Obama was a racist. Now we have proof!
Never new he could sing, though.
March 21, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Well at least it was Chris Lepore and not Theresa Lapore who found the Eddie Murphy skit.
Cuz that would have been too ironic.
March 22, 2008 at 7:58 am
I have borne the shame of a common last name with her since that ill-fated election of 2000. I had hoped this would be a safe place.
How long, O Lord, how long?
March 23, 2008 at 10:09 am
Doofus, should I believe you or my lying eyes? It was Garrett Morris. I missed most of the Eddie Murphy era on SNL.
March 23, 2008 at 11:59 am
Definitely Eddie Urphy. See his Best of SNL:Eddie Murphy. Good catch on the Kill My Landlord upthread.
March 23, 2008 at 8:49 pm
The following link is the “Kill My Landlord” that aimai and I remember.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY8NR7jZCYs
April 28, 2008 at 5:03 pm
hi my name is Theresa Lepore( pronounced Lapouree) anyway i thought it was cool that that woman has the same name as me!