In the midst of Dana Milbank’s dispatch about the Worst Absentee President ever (a taste: “To react to the main news of the day — thousands of deaths from the cyclone in Burma — Bush sends his wife out to make a statement. She criticizes the Burmese government for its failure ‘to issue a timely warning to citizens in the storm’s path’ and ‘to meet its people’s basic needs.’ Reporters, too tactful to draw parallels to New Orleans, quiz her instead about daughter Jenna’s wedding, and the names of future grandchildren. ‘George and Georgia, Georgina, Georgette,’ the first lady says.” Well that is tactful. Thanks, you demure and politic newshounds.) we get a bit of detail on Our Government’s response to the aforementioned cyclone:
[ some deputy of a deputy of a deputy asshole left behind to give the press conference ] began with the news that the United States had provided a whopping $250,000 to relief efforts in Burma
Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars? Really? That’s barely enough for a body to get foreclosed on. Why didn’t they include a couple gameboys so people could entertain themselves while dying of thirst? Maybe a do-it-yourself four-square kit, minus the ball? I’ve said it before and (I hate to say, but you have to figure) I’ll say it again: what an unbelievable shithead. He doesn’t even have to be paying attention to fuck people over.
… maybe I’m being unfair. That’s a whole shiny quarter for everybody who lost their home.
… praise be: $3 a home!
May 6, 2008 at 11:19 am
Even better is that you know that $250,000 is not cash, but cash-equivalent value for pallets of expired medicine, aging government cheese, and booklets of 2-for-1 Hardee’s coupons. All deliverered in a Halliburton chartered cargo jet flight that will cost the taxpayers $19 million.
May 6, 2008 at 11:39 am
I was astounded that the paper reported it as a *good thing* that it was left to laura to say something. Then I noticed that what she criticized was the “state run” weather reporting and I realized that probably the real goal was to take our own “state run” weather reporting system and turn it over to for profit conglomerates so they could sell us the same information we’ve already paid for as taxpayers. Poorman readers will no doubt remember that the GOP tried exactly this ploy last year but I guess there weren’t enough dead bodies piled up to fully make the point that government run anythign is bad.
aimai
May 6, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Send Halliburton, KBR and Blackwater to the rescue. Yeah, that’s the ticket!
May 6, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I propose a gas tax holiday for Myanmar.
May 6, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Hey look at the bright side – when the despotic government of Myanmar runs out of Myanmarese (Myanmarians? Myanmarites?) – they’ll be out of business, because they’ll have nobody left to oppress!
And Burma will be free!!!
May 6, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Hey look at the bright side – when the despotic government of Myanmar runs out of Myanmarese (Myanmarians? Myanmarites?) – they’ll be out of business, because they’ll have nobody left to oppress!
And Burma will be free!!!
So are the Myanmarites that died freedom fighters or terrorists?
May 6, 2008 at 2:18 pm
In addition to everything else, how thoroughly does our government have to be phoning it in to miss a chance to call the rescue effort “Operation Burma Save”?
May 6, 2008 at 2:45 pm
call the rescue effort “Operation Burma Save”?
For shame, Sifu Tweety Fish.
May 6, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Look they used to have an eye for a PR victory that way. Now they don’t even have that. Off to the ranch!
May 6, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Thousands dead
From wind and rain
A quarter million
Will ease their pain
Burma Shave
May 6, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Yeah, you might have been unfair. I heard the initial $250k was what the embassy kept on hand, literally in a safe, should it be needed.
May 7, 2008 at 1:05 am
America’s response
Is kinda dumb
On the other hand
I have 4 fingers and a thumb
Burma Shave
May 7, 2008 at 7:04 am
Water’s short
But not decay
Nice couch fort
George hides away
Burma Shave
May 7, 2008 at 7:47 am
A quarter mill
Won’t help the needy
But compared to Katrina
It sure came speedy!
Burma Save
May 7, 2008 at 9:16 am
A hurricane knocked
Our city flat
“Well, no one could have
Expected that!”
Burma Shave
May 7, 2008 at 10:24 am
Our country’s wrecked
We’ve lost our moms
But hey good luck
It wasn’t bombs!
Burma Save
May 7, 2008 at 10:58 am
250 large
built Baghdad’s T.G.I.Friday’s
A tidal wave of liberation!
Freedom’s untidy
Burma Save
May 7, 2008 at 11:48 am
A quarter mil
Hey that’s not bupkis
It’s almost Yoo’s salary
Post-Department of Justice
Burma Save
May 7, 2008 at 12:00 pm
100,000 pwned
have $2.50, you n00bs
Next on CNN:
Hannah Montana has bewbs!
Burma Save
May 7, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Global warming’s a crock
ask anybody alive
you point to the cyclone
I say “watch this drive!”
Burma Save
May 7, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Cyclone’s come
Myanmar’s bereft
It’s been wiped clean
There’s nothing left
BURMA SHAVE