May 6, 2008
Some experts suggest that an abundance of seals has attracted high numbers of sharks, while others believe that overfishing has hit their food chain. ‘I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but it’s a convenient excuse,’ Burgess said. Another contributory factor to the location of shark attacks could be global warming and rising sea temperatures. ‘You’ll find that some species will begin to appear in places they didn’t in the past with some regularity,’ he said.
Like IN YOUR SWIMMING POOL!?!? Only Stone Philips* knows for sure! Also, some experts believe that rising global temperatures will contribute to jailbait stars of Disney channel shows taking their shirts off. Something must be done!
* PMI factoid: global warming has already caused all TV news people to be named “Stone Philips”.
May 6, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Stone Philips before he stones you.
Because you know he will. And then you’ll end up all red-eyed and woozy, mumbling to yourself and stumbling around the driveway at 4am with a handful of cashews and Mallomars in your shirt pocket and no pants, and no one wants to see that. Again.
May 6, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Huh. Now if we can only tie global warming somehow to missing white girls, we’ll have coverage 24/7.
May 7, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Oops, the oceans have recently cooled as has the planet.