Arianna (please note: first-name basis with blog royalty, subtle insinuations of inside access and secrets shared at late-night brie-’n'-chardonnay parties, *m’wah-m’wah* airkisses dah-links) reviews some recent derailments of the Straight Talk Express. John McCain was always one of those guys I really wanted to like, because he was hated by all the sorts of people you would want to be hated by, and he sometimes even said things that were true, but I kept getting stuck on the fact that he was totally, totally, totally crazy. Now that he spends weekends furiously scrubbing Jerry Falwell’s upper colon with his tongue, and weekdays at Political Re-Edumacation Camp with Karl Rove, those last vestiges of doubt have been removed. I mean, he’d still be an improvement over Bush, but so would the second-biggest wingnut moron on Earth. Aim high, I sez.
May 6, 2008
May 6, 2008 at 4:53 pm
I totally do that with you at blogger meet ups. After the “we’re so old” conversations and the “no, I don’t know your web log” stuff, I drop in some “oh, The was just saying the other day…”
May 6, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Now that he spends weekends furiously scrubbing Jerry Falwell’s upper colon with his tongue,..
Since the good Rev. Falwell has been dead for almost a year, that really would be damaging to his campaign if say, video of this got posted on YouTube. And shouldn’t that be lower colon? Or does John Sidney have Gene Simmons-like talents that he has yet to display on the campaign trail?
May 6, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I bow to your knowledge of Jerry Falwell’s colon.
May 6, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I believe you are referring to Jerry Falwell, Jr. Also, I believe that Gen. Jack D. Ripper greatly underestimates both the reach of an A-list Republican’s tongue and the vastness of an A-list Jeebus-hawker’s chute.
May 6, 2008 at 8:36 pm
I bow to your knowledge of Jerry Falwell’s colon.
Touche!
May 7, 2008 at 4:05 am
I mean, he’d still be an improvement over Bush
I think it’s very possible that the Republicans have found the one person who is stupider (bottom of his class at Annapolis, anyone?) less intellectually curious, less motivated to actually DO any of the hard presidentin’-type work associated with actually being President, more sleazy (Keating 5 comes to mind) and an all-around-fuck-up than Bush.
May 7, 2008 at 4:09 am
“Political Re-Edumacation Camp” – man that’s good.
May 7, 2008 at 6:35 am
I would elect a dead Richard Nixon over GWB.
May 7, 2008 at 6:59 am
Zombie Reagan ’08. Because you know you want it.