Can somebody please tell me why people are giving even a moment’s credence to the absurd, ineptly attempted smear that Michelle Obama would take the occasion of addressing a large, ethnically and politically homogenous heterogeneous congregation at one of the most prominent churches in the city of Chicago – on occasion where she knew she was being videotaped – to transform herself from a powerful, convincing advocate for sound political and social policy to a broadly drawn blaxploitation caricature? Do they really believe that every black woman harbors an inner Angela Y. Davis cum Cleopatra Jones-style race warrior whose second greatest thrill (besides being sent to all-topless women’s prison, natch) is avenging all the ghetto sisters them crackers done wrong? Really? Do they similarly believe the pope, given a moment’s peace, would in fact desperately seek out some woods to poop in? That little people living in their TVs act out the stories they see? That pro wrestling is totally, totally real?

Whitey? Is a moron.