Or something:
A sign of encroaching senility? Or a glitch in latent VC-implanted subroutine? Only Ted Sampley knows for sure!
Sadly, despite the fact that Juan McCain is an obvious jaguar’s paw for the bandito armies of the resurrected Pancho Villa, and despite a grievous personal snub from the McCain campaign, principled conservative Michelle Malkin has not addressed any of the serious issues sub-Bircher loons real conservatives have about the Republican nominee’s dubious record in Vietnam. She is too busy exposing the jihadist threat in our junior high schools. Strange.
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June 7, 2008 at 1:58 am
Man: John McCain is back at chomping on little, innocent babies…again.
Woman: I thought he stopped eating babies after The Guyver defeated him in The LA River boss battle.
Man: McCain was only pretending to be dead, following orders from his controller, Un-Dead Mao Kleber Carlinho, he’s undercover as the Center Attack Mid for Botofogo and Santos.
Woman: Noooooo!
Man: He would really rather play for Sporting, Porto, Benefica or even Naval, anywhere in Portugal, just to get out of Sao Paulo. The Baby Eater of Nangao was just a front to develop a coalition of wall street republicans who were willing to move towards the center on issues like global warming where public support had reached the point of no return, and loved the flavor of properly prepared tender baby. Once they discovered the frog farms were just a front for lining Amazonian politicos McCain had to reveal that he was the fifth unknown cyclon.
Woman: What?
Man: It’s politics.
Woman: Are you sure, it sounds like you’ve been shrooming.
Man: What? Like yeah, I mean where would I even find that stuff Carol?
Woman: Oh, OK, whatever, I thought you were snorting Ambien CR or some shit.
Man: You mean the sleeping pills that make you cook french toast and/or hijack a tractor trailer filled with corn nibblets set for Modesto because your girlfriend is crushing your soul into a fine powder? According to his medical dump John McCain takes Ambien CR so he doesn’t have to scream himself to sleep every night while Mrs. McCain stretches her face into a ping pong table.
Woman: Fuck You Dan. Coach boy.
Man: Why don’t you sleep on the coach!
Man and Woman: Write John Mccain and tell him to stop eating your baby.
June 7, 2008 at 4:55 am
Diarrhea and vomiting creates dehydrated babies. Rather than feeding them boiled milk afterward, why can’t we prevent the problem by keeping them from watching Republican commercials?
June 7, 2008 at 6:08 am
The scary thing about that second clip is that if you didn’t speak any English, Michelle would sound like the sane, reasonable one.
June 7, 2008 at 6:27 am
ohmygod. Its over.
aimai
June 7, 2008 at 9:03 am
Freeze-dried babies are better.
June 7, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Why can’t we reconstitute babies with hot water? It works for those fancy mushrooms.
June 7, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Now I noticed this the first time I watched the speech and said huh? WTF? I even thought about it for a minute–wouldn’t feeding HOT water to a dehydrated baby for one thing, hurt? Then I wondered if there was something about the hygiene I didn’t know, shrugged it off and forgot about it.
But yeah, if the hygiene thing is not true and it’s a gaffe, it’s indeed a funny one.
June 7, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Self inflicted wombs are amurka’s number one problem.
John McCain will solve amurka’s problem by boiling and eating the dehydrated gay liberal babies that come from these wombs.
Don’t chu wonder?
~
June 8, 2008 at 11:31 am
“bottled hot water” — i think mccain got confused and his thoughts drifted to his “hot water bottle.”
June 9, 2008 at 1:44 am
the frog farms were just a front for lining Amazonian politicos
I have always wondered where the frogs come from. You know, the ones that don’t notice that the pot of water they’re sitting in is coming slowly to the boil. This strikes me as an unnecessarily cruel way of disposing of them, like flushing baby alligators down the toilet — or sending canaries down into coalmines — and it raises the question of what happens to them after that. We already have enough to worry about, what with the giant albino alligators infesting the sewers and the giant blind canaries that make coal-mining so dangerous; adding a race of giant hopping-mad heat-proof frogs to the mix is just making things worse.
June 20, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I think you meant the Fifth CYLON, as in “Battlestar Galactica” the awesome Sci Fi series about Human survivors of Earth’s future Colonies on other Planets, whose Planets were vaporized by evil Robot race, called “Cylons”, the original Metal Cylons freakin’ scary, the Cylons who “pass” for Humans not so scary.
The remnants of Colonists live on Spaceships & are trying to find their way back home, to EARTH, but nobody knows where in Space it is, they don’t have GPS Navigators I guess.
Homeland Security Secretary Chernoff, boy does he look like a Cylon, maybe he’s the 5th Cylon! Either that or another kind of Alien.
Thanks for the best laugh of the day, when I read the Headline “John McCain wants to boil your baby in a dehydrated gay bottle!