Walrusface Samuelson gets this party started, right:

A Vote for McBama

Wednesday, June 11, 2008; Page A19

Actually, as dday notes, this party has been going on for some time.  I contend that Samuelson would have gotten here first, if someone hadn’t-a stolen his bucket.  And this is even better: Samuelson acknowledges that the candidates are quite different, but both fall short of Orthodox Broderism, so he just doesn’t give a shit. And no one, but no one, can phone it in like Samuelson:

Aside from ambition — hardly unique among presidential candidates — I cannot detect powerful convictions in Obama. He seems merely expedient in peddling his convenient conflicts. He strikes me as a super-successful graduate student: the brightest, quickest, most articulate guy in the seminar. In his career, he has advanced mainly by talking and writing — not doing — and may harbor a delusion common to the well-educated: that he can argue and explain his way around any problem.

“I hate Obama because I’ve decided I hate him.”  On the plus side, though, Walrusface takes a paragraph and a half to explain to us that he’s black, and how that’s great.  Thanks for that, Bob.  When I fall asleep on my keyboard, I get total gibberish.  But when Samuelson dreams and drools on his keyboard pillow, he gets total gibberish which looks like text!  A useful skill in certain lines of work.  “It’s all in the tusks,” sez Bob J.   And John McCain?  More like JOHN McDREAMBOAT!!!

By contrast, no one can claim that McCain lacks convictions. He has often defied Republican Party orthodoxy, and his credentials to lead a centrist coalition are stronger than Obama’s. According to Politico, he sided with his party only 83 percent of the time from 2005 to 2007. Even in this election year, he has taken unpopular positions. Note his criticism of farm subsidies, which won’t help him in the Midwest.

Pretty Mavericky! Although, when all’s said and done, who cares? It’s Gush-Bore all over again.  Issues are boring, so ignore them, or say that they don’t exist.  Instead, use your magic powers of punditry to descry their very souls!  The Democrat is creepy, the Republican is swell, nobody’s as perfect as me, time for my nap.  So very, very serious.

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