My Michelle defends FOX News referring to future first lady* Michelle Obama as “Obama’s Baby Mama”:
I did not write the caption and I was not aware of it when it ran (the Baltimore studio doesn’t have a monitor). I don’t know if the caption writer was making a lame attempt to be hip, clueless about the original etymology of the phrase, or both. But I do know that it was Michelle Obama herself who referred to Barack as her “baby’s daddy” and has used the phrase “baby daddy” to describe Barack while on the stump this year.
Huh. Well, here’s how I know John McCain addressed his wife** while on the stump in 1992:
At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.
So, logically, I guess news organizations have had 16 years to fairly refer to the Republican nominee as “Cindy’s Made-Up Cunt”. Or, maybe, just … maybe, people who have been married for years can be more familiar with each other than strangers can, something I figured out when I was 3. And that would make Michelle Malkin an embarrassing idiot, something most people figured out at about the same time.
* FULL DISCLOSURE: “Future First Lady” is my glam rock name.
** Not his first wife, obviously, the one who stayed true to him when he was in a POW camp. He dumped her when she had a car accident, perhaps on orders from Ho Chi Minh City. Cindy is the rich one he dumped her for. The one he really loves, and calls a “cunt”***.
*** “Cunt” is Viet Cong Secret Android Speak for “yummy sunshine love bunny”. Obviously, you’d have to have serious anger issues/software bugs to call your wife a “cunt” in English. That’s not the John McCain I know****.
**** Actually, it is*****.
***** In McCain’s defense, he says he was tired. He needed a nap, he says, in order to maintain the thin veneer of sanity he presents to the outside world. Such effort can be exhausting, as I’m sure you can imagine, particularly at the advanced age of however old he was when I was in high school. I’m not saying John McCain is old, mind you - I’m just saying that the Pyramids were built Thursday.******
****** Get the fuck off my lawn.
… UPDATE: Among Malkin’s unimpeachable sources – dudes on the internets. From the future. I must recruit them for my glam rock band.
June 12, 2008 at 10:16 am
Malkkkin’s second link — the one purporting to prove that she knows Mrs. Obama “has used the phrase ‘baby daddy’ to describe Barack while on the stump this year” — is to some message board on which the highly-credible “Patriot” claims:
Obama is a pandering hypocrite. South Side of Chicago holds a Bud Milliken Parade. At one point – michelle obama appeared waving on top of an escalade, she was wearing torn jeans, a crumpled semi dirty t-shirt half tucked in and out – and her hair was crazy undone – then she made a small speech – and actually referred to barak as her “baby daddy” (not baby’s daddy even you’ll notice)
some of the crowd bought it – but i thought it was really over the top in the way of pandering, as i knew she was going to a state dinner that evening and can only assume her demeanor and dress would morph accordingly.
Of course, the Bud Billiken — not Milliken — parade is held on the second Sunday in August, so it hasn’t happened this year. But Malkkkin knows that Mrs. Obama said it this year, because some anti-Obama fuckwit on a rightwing message board, who can’t even get the name of the event right, claims he or she personally witnessed it.
Another triumph for citizen journalism!
June 12, 2008 at 10:57 am
Quality.
June 12, 2008 at 11:17 am
Cunt is linguistically linked to bunny through the word “coney” or “cunny” via the latin word “cuniculus”.
June 12, 2008 at 11:40 am
I work on the south side of Chicago and have been to several Bud Billiken parades the past few years, and I can tell you no such thing occurred. Senator Obama was the grand marshall for last year’s parade, and here’s a picture of him and Michelle. Does that look like what “Patriot” describes?
June 12, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I thought the shining glory of the whole piece was the part where Malkin carefully parses the history and symbolism of the phrase “baby mama” because it’s a black thing and we wouldn’t understand.
June 12, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Excellent, innovative, leading edge use of asterisks, sir. I shall adopt this practice in my own reportage, thereby achieving rapid corporate advancement, fame, riches, and glory!!
June 12, 2008 at 12:25 pm
That quote from patriot is pure comedy gold! Malkin has debased herself so badly that fox will have no choice but to hire her again.
June 12, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Actually, to be fair (& balanced) to McCain, let’s not forget that he also compared his wife to a trollop – because ALL loving couples call each other nice kind things like whore. In public. Yep, they’d sure make a hell of a First Couple, alrighty.
The best move Michelle Malkin could make to help the GOP at this point would be a radical laryngectomy.
June 12, 2008 at 1:26 pm
I went to the CNN link and… boy, do they talk a lot! Such a senseless waste of airwaves…
June 12, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Since potential first ladies are now game, it is odd Faux doesn’t bring this about C-word.
June 12, 2008 at 2:09 pm
ummm…this up…
June 12, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I though our ‘cunt’ was derived from the French, ‘count’ (pronounced “koon”) and more or less derived from some MHL for ‘wedge’ i.e.. cuneum (as in “cuneiform”), because it’s outer parts looks like a wedge, or rather a double-wedge, which is kidna like a double-u. Hey –UU, or even W, or even Dubya. Which would be about right.
June 12, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I’m pretty sure ‘cunt’ is derived from VC FORTRAN.
June 12, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Senator Obama was the grand marshall for last year’s parade, and here’s a picture of him and Michelle. Does that look like what “Patriot” describes?
Yes.
Yes, that is, if you see the world though patented “WhiteyBlocker”(TM) glasses. Everything and everyone looks a little bit darker than normal. Interestingly, it comes preinstalled in many of today’s right-wing cyborgs.
It generally comes with an English-to-Ebonic Auto Translator, for todays committed negrophobe.
June 12, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Cunt is the WMD of lady insults. I would like it if at the GOP Convention a cunning millionaire cougar had been waiting, and waiting, and waiting to call John McCain a cunt at least nine times in a filthy, dirty, prime time speech.
Now who’s the cunt? Who’s the cunt now? Cunt says what? I’m sorry did I destroy your presidential campaign in 25 seconds? I do declare. Excuse me while I fuck Pete Coors on the floor of the convention like that scene from “Boogey Nights.”
June 12, 2008 at 3:42 pm
This is why Clinton supporters need to vote for McCain, because he’s a champion of women. I really can’t tell the difference between Hillary and McCain after this.
June 13, 2008 at 10:56 am
Not his first wife, obviously, the one who stayed true to him when he was in a POW camp. He dumped her when she had a car accident, perhaps on orders from Ho Chi Minh City. Cindy is the rich one he dumped her for.
Ahh yes. Cindy “Jackpot” McCain.
June 13, 2008 at 11:07 am
Actually, Straight Talker should plaster on some trollop’s makeup so he looks less like a zombie. He already has the trollop’s smile down pat.
June 13, 2008 at 11:36 am
What does ‘cunt’ mean? It that like ebonics? Like bling? Or mofo? (I think ‘mofo’ means, like a really good deal, as in mofoyermunee.)
June 13, 2008 at 5:53 pm
[...] First Undead Vice-President Since Dick Cheney. And then he could call his millionaire trophy wife a cunt to make everyone fall in love with the Republicans all over again. Stay The Course For Change. [...]
June 14, 2008 at 5:04 am
The etymology of the obscene word ‘cunt’.
June 17, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Well, to be fair to Mr. McCain, I for one think this merits careful and reasoned consideration. We need to understand that, when Senator McCain called his wife a cunt in a public setting, he didn’t mean it as an insult or a slur. He just thinks of women as cunts. “Some of my best friends are cunts,” might Mr. McCain say.
June 18, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Yes Major Woody: “Sailor Talk”, as it were.
Sure. I get it.
Also Josephdietrich thanks for the etymology. But it seems less conclusive when they talk about cunt vs cunnilingus, which I find rather odd – surely the one shares the same descent as the later. Or?
June 18, 2008 at 1:10 pm
And then there’s the fact that in the UK and in Canada, ‘cunt’ just isn’t that bad a word.
As in: ‘you’re such a fookin’ cahnt!’, the worst part of the phrase is the “fookin’”.
June 18, 2008 at 1:15 pm
No, I think it’s the other way around. If ‘cunt’ was a very bad word in the US, teenagers would use it more. It’s like calling someone a ‘bloody Trev’. It doesn’t even rank.
September 4, 2008 at 1:07 pm
[...] Mittens was probably thinking of Cindy McCain’s private jet, which John gets to borrow when he’s not calling her “trollop”, “cunt”, or using other British and/or archaic insults. [...]