Thers goes where eagles dare – open mic night at Townhall.com – and discovers the Master List of Obama Comedy Obamedy!
When Chris Mathews passes gas look out for the smoke cloud caused by BO blowing carbon emissions up Mathews tailpipe. [...]
Obama was a community organizer- where I come from they’re called Bloods or Crips. [...]
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon. [...]Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American. [...]What’s the difference between…
Hugo Chavez and Barack Hussein Obama?Answer: Not much but Hugo’s wife knows when to shut-up! [...]
Aflac duck gone…..
replaced by Afbarack….Afbarack…. New and improved health insurance, underwritten by the President HIMself!Have you tried it out yet?
Yep, needed to get a tooth filled but the wait time is ten years.
What ya gonna do?
They sent me a free block of wood and a hammer and chisel.
Well that is a change. Do you believe in it?
Afbarack! Afbarack!
After a few pages of this, I’m not sure I see much difference between torturing innocent people and boyish high spirits, either. Oh, and my favorite:
Laughing at Obama is a good start to ridding ourselves of the PC stranglehold on speech that every minority has a right not to be offended that the Left has been shoving down our throats.
I also hate having strangleholds shoved down my throat, and Camille Paglia makes three. But I can’t imagine what sorts of useful things conservatives would say about minorities if only they could brave the awesome might of PC Leftism. I’m sure it would be hilarious.
July 18, 2008 at 3:22 am
“Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.”
This is a joke?
July 18, 2008 at 4:39 am
And they say conservatives have no sense of humor.
Afbarack! Stop it, my sides are killing me!
July 18, 2008 at 5:25 am
Q:What do you get when you mix The White House with a puple man?
A: CRAYON!
HAA HA1!
July 18, 2008 at 5:43 am
To enjoy comedy you have to have “a sense of humor”, true.
But to *do* comedy, you just have to be funny.
And boy, those conservatives are “funny” ifyouknowwhatImean.
July 18, 2008 at 6:12 am
reminds me of a joke I heard about John McCain.
“John McCain was a POW. Where I come from they’re called…”
I forget the rest, it was something about Ho Chi Minh, a rubber suit and at the end John McCain says “where is that wonderful communist.”
July 18, 2008 at 6:15 am
almost OT
http://www.aim.org/media-monitor/silver-sewer-award-for-fox/
Silver Sewer Award For Fox
Media Monitor | By Reed Irvine and Cliff Kincaid | October 11, 1999
Rupert Murdoch’s timing couldn’t have been worse, or better, depending on your perspective. During a week when he acknowledged that his Fox television programs were a “negative influence” on America, he received a Silver Sewer award from former education secretary Bill Bennett and Senator Joseph Lieberman. In the words of Lieberman, Fox was dishonored for its tireless, tasteless, and ongoing efforts to drag down network programming…
July 18, 2008 at 7:56 am
Obama was a community organizer- where I come from they’re called Bloods or Crips.
Cute. Unfortunately we’ll soon be subjected to the sight of conservatives defending their racist “jokes” as satire, even when such a claim makes no goddamn sense at all. Thanks, Conde Nast.
July 18, 2008 at 8:19 am
Stupid people have to think they have a sense of humor too.
I am SO looking forward to the fall debates and watching American jaws drop across the nation. Most of them haven;t had a chance to hear Obama speak, much less in a context where he is counter-pointed by his senile opponent.
When they do, they’re gonna weep to Jeebus in gratitude for their new Cafe au Lait Savior.
Except the kinda people who still think McCain would make a good president (maybe, um, 29%?).
July 18, 2008 at 8:33 am
I am SO looking forward to the fall debates and watching American jaws drop across the nation. Most of them haven;t had a chance to hear Obama speak, much less in a context where he is counter-pointed by his senile opponent.
Uh-huh.
Obama: “And, in conclusion, it is through this plan combined with careful stewardship that we can bring this great country’s finances back on track.”
McCain: “Lower taxes. And keep those damned kids off my lawn.”
Media: “My, didn’t McCain trample all over that effete elitist Obama in the debates tonight?”
July 18, 2008 at 9:38 am
“Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.”
This is a joke?
Yep. And it’ hilarious, too! Why, when I think of the shade of purple liberals’ll turn when they hear it, I can barely breathe, for laughing!
July 18, 2008 at 9:45 am
Knock Knock
Who is it?
Barack Obama’s wife is filthy
Hilarious.
1/2 hour comedy hour iz 1 funee hour to spit mud races.
Ba-boom cha.
Comedy gold. When you mix anger and ignorance with a false sense of ego this kind of magic just flows like denim on denim.
July 18, 2008 at 9:57 am
When Chris Mathews passes gas look out for the smoke cloud caused by BO blowing carbon emissions up Mathews tailpipe. [...]
Maybe I’m just too hungover today, but can someone please explain this to me.
-thanks in advance
July 18, 2008 at 10:00 am
The conservatards certainly seem to be enamored with the phrase “shove it down our throats”. Latent much?
July 18, 2008 at 10:00 am
I’m calling a rip-off of Neil Hamburger’s act!
July 18, 2008 at 10:00 am
“When Chris Mathews passes gas look out for the smoke cloud caused by BO blowing carbon emissions up Mathews tailpipe.”
1. The author has a special relationship with odor that requires a creative outlet. That’s a feature.
2. The author needed to make a “fart” joke, but can’t use the word “fart” because, wouldn’t want to offend.
3. If gas is blowing up your ass when you “fart”, you need to visit a proctologist not the… oh wait, your retarded, so you need to visit the “muffler doctor”.
July 18, 2008 at 10:07 am
I think it’s like a shoving a stranglehold down someone’s throat. Wingnuts learn about spatial relationships from Dali paintings.
July 18, 2008 at 10:11 am
Obama is such an elitist he changed “Yes we can” to “Indeed we are able”. He’s so elitist he speaks Esperanto AND Interlingua like a native. He’s too elitist to have ham, eggs and toast for breakfast, he only eats oeufs et jambon avec pain grillé.
July 18, 2008 at 10:29 am
How many Barack Obamas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who needs light bulbs when we’ve got these bonfires made entirely of CASH?
None, the light bulb is already the change it’s looking for.
July 18, 2008 at 11:11 am
I’ve been wanking furiously at Townhall.com, and boy is my arm tired.
July 18, 2008 at 11:14 am
There were these two guys, see, out camping, on a camping trip. One woke up the next morning hung over with a sore
wait, that’s not it . . .
Rectum? He damn near killed him!
No, that’s not it, either.
crap
July 18, 2008 at 11:16 am
What’s the difference between Obama and Osama bin Laden?
The Bushies are “truly concerned” about Obama.
July 18, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Yeah. Must be a Dali thing.
July 18, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Tigrismus clouded things a bit by doubling up on punchlines, but those are both pretty good. The “change” one’s downright elegant.
July 18, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Ah, yes. Plus ca change and all that. I remember similar very bad “humor” during John Kennedy’s run for the White House.
July 18, 2008 at 5:07 pm
On that Hugo Chavez’s wife thing — actually it’s his ex-wife, and she’s an outspoken critic of Chavez running for local office.
July 18, 2008 at 6:49 pm
I feel so very full of straw. Dirty dirty straw.
July 18, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Will Rogers these guys are not.
July 18, 2008 at 10:02 pm
“Media: “My, didn’t McCain trample all over that effete elitist Obama in the debates tonight?””
It is possible to place TOO much trust in the blind lemmingesque adherence of Dad Peepholes to what Das peepholers tell Das peeholes to think.
I seen it haopen before.
You probably have too but maybe didn’t notice.
Try a bigger peephole
July 19, 2008 at 1:48 am
As a member (I use that term stiffly) of the conservative MINORITY, I demand funny jokes. In the interest of progressivism and other things, I demand that a systematic system of comedic levelty be pursued; i.e. those that possess a commodity in obscene amounts be levied a comedy tax whereby they write funny jokes for the MINORITY in order to level the comedic playing field. The age of two comedic Americas must come to an end! I beg you in the interest of equality to write funnier minoritocentric ™ jokes. Do it for America.
July 19, 2008 at 3:15 pm
The conservative minority has spoken.
What do you get when you cross-burn Obama w/ a bad racist joke?
Lynching?
It’s a start…
July 20, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
[O]utside the ordered universe [is] that amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity—the boundless daemon sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time and space amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin monotonous whine of accursed flutes.
Who?
And it was then that Nyarlathotep came out of Egypt. Who he was, none could tell, but he was of the old native blood and looked like a Pharaoh. The fellahin knelt when they saw him, yet could not say why. He said he had risen up out of the blackness of twenty-seven centuries, and that he had heard messages from places not on this planet. Into the lands of civilisation came Nyarlathotep, swarthy, slender, and sinister, always buying strange instruments of glass and metal and combining them into instruments yet stranger. He spoke much of the sciences – of electricity and psychology – and gave exhibitions of power which sent his spectators away speechless, yet which swelled his fame to exceeding magnitude. Men advised one another to see Nyarlathotep, and shuddered. And where Nyarlathotep went, rest vanished; for the small hours were rent with the screams of a nightmare.
What?
What?
Is that supposed to be Obama or something?
No.
Really?
Yes.
Is this joke in your dreamland?
July 21, 2008 at 10:08 am
Even liberals’ ghoulish gibbering and meeping are funnier than conservatives’ finest efforts!
July 21, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Hey! You guys are killin me out here. Serious. I’m dyin out here. Oi weh!
July 21, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
President Obama.
President Obama who?
President Obama says, “Keep ‘em coming, Townhall!”
July 21, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Okay, I got one more…
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The Interrupting Obama-haters.
The Interrupting Oba…?
MOO-slim!
July 23, 2008 at 12:36 am
What’s the difference between Barack Obama and 9/11?
Obama’s just another politician, but 9/11 made change we could believe in!
…
When does Barack Obama change his light bulbs?
Never: 9/11 changed everything!