McCain just tapped Harriet Miers Sarah Palin as his vice presidential choice. He must really think women are stupid: Me woman. She woman. Me vote for Oldy McSame. This brought to us by the same mindset that thought pretty-boy Dan Qauyle would attract women voters. The campaign via Tiger Beat theory.
Admittedly, we of the male persuasion can frequently cede control of the bridge to our genitalia, but it’s not when we enter the voting booth (I said voting booth). And given that women are smarter than men generally speaking, and much less prone to cogitate with their junk, this is, to put it simplay, FUCKING FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL.
Speaking of the Old Dirty Bastard who happens to be remarkably old, Palin’s shocking lack of experience (1+ year as governor of a small state after being mayor of a town with 8,000 proud inhabitants) guarantees that people will be talking about how old Oldy Decrepit is now that Sarriet Palin Miers could be one geriatric and feeble heartbeat away from the oval office. Of all the potential recipients of those 3:00am phone calls to pick from, Mumm-Ra chose her?
Recall: Obama chose Joe Biden.
Can’t you just smell the desperation? (over the musty old guy scent)
August 29, 2008 at 9:22 am
John McCain was the mayor of a HUT in the JUNGLE with a population of ONE. So you can’t criticize his choice of Veep. You can’t do it, my friends.
August 29, 2008 at 9:37 am
They want to lose. Both sides are wanting to re-live the glory days of the 90′s.
August 29, 2008 at 9:40 am
so grouchy was what, 28, when she was born?
look: she spent her earliest childhood years while john mccain was a prisoner of war.
you can’t criticize her!
August 29, 2008 at 10:06 am
Mumm-Ra. Heh.
She’s a small town beauty queen, 30 years his junior, with librarian glasses. He’s a super-rich old lecher, an old goat with a history of taking wedding vows as suggestions. If you put the two of them together, ~80% of the audience will assume she’s his secretary; specifically, the one he’s banging. If ~80% of the audience spontaneously hurls at their first public appearance together, my analysis is correct.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have to hurl.
August 29, 2008 at 10:51 am
For a while there I was getting tired of headlines using “tapped” interchageably with “picked” or “chose.” Not today. My friends, that is innuendo we can believe in.
August 29, 2008 at 11:10 am
He shoulda gone with Marsha Brady – more name recognition.
August 29, 2008 at 11:24 am
He picked a brunette so the temptation of ass-grabbing will be lessened (he’s got a very specific type – blonde and rich).
August 29, 2008 at 11:25 am
The more I think about it, the weirder this is. Leaving aside the whole “creepy old lecher” optics (perhaps just me and my dirty old mind), what about this makes sense? Biden and Obama have worked together for 3 years, presumably interacted during the primary campaign, etc., so they know if they can work together. If McCain picked “Steve Palin”, 30 years his junior, little government experience, who he’s never worked with and probably couldn’t have pick out of a line up 2 months ago – how would that look? Totally random, done entirely for effect. And if “Steve” was a former Handsomeness Pageant winner, I’d have to start speculating about some Jeff Gannon shananigans going on. It would be irresponsible not to.
OTOH, even if she’s a complete bimbo, that means she’s twice as smart as Mittens or Rudy!. And Biden probably can’t lay into her like he would with those guys without looking unchivalrous, so that might help there. Maybe she’s actually a skilled politician – not like I’d ever heard of her before 2 hours ago. It still seems random
August 29, 2008 at 11:52 am
America is ready for a female chief executive.
America is not ready for a foxy chief executive.
August 29, 2008 at 12:05 pm
She’s probably sharp – or the R’s must think so, anyway. If she’s witty and quick, she could pull off a debate performance with clver generalities. Most Americans don’t seem to care if our leaders actually know anything, anyway.
They must have something up their sleeve. Right?
August 29, 2008 at 12:19 pm
McCain taps Alaska governor for VP.
Is that like tapping the Rockies ?
P.S.: Darn you Zed, for getting there first…
August 29, 2008 at 12:44 pm
She doesn’t have to know how to do anything, but what Dick Cheney tells her to do!
August 29, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I think this is less to appeal to “women” in general than to appeal to the hard right (she is an evangelical and creationist as well as down-the-line right winger on economics) and to bolster McCain’s “maverick” cred. Though she is plagued with a minor scandal, she did go up against and beat Alaska’s Republican hierarchy.
August 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Yeah, the whole “she’s a woman” thing is just a red herring. Her biggest qualification is that she’s pure batshit rightwing anti-choice anti-evilution gold.
August 29, 2008 at 1:34 pm
It’s the Antidote.
Suck all you want, it won’t work.
August 29, 2008 at 1:43 pm
To be more specific, a hopeless act of deperation for the imaginary Hillary dead-enders. To quote pappy, ‘na. ga. ha.’
August 29, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I was hoping for Guliani, they would look pretty exactly like Mumm-ra in his shitty, mummy, form and that bird henchmen he had.
August 29, 2008 at 4:29 pm
She’s young enough to be his wife!
August 29, 2008 at 4:44 pm
She has five kids. Perhaps she was chosen because McCain will soon require her diaper-changing skills.
August 29, 2008 at 5:55 pm
“Vagina Dumbtata,” huh? Wow, sure is progressive around here.
Good thing Obama’s from the correct side of the aisle. Otherwise, I’m sure you guys would be busting out all your very wittiest burrhead jokes.
August 29, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Ah, Jim, very noble and above-the-fray of you to deign to drop a comment.
You have a point. Disgusting innuendo about patriotism or homosexuality is perfectly acceptable, if the subject is Democratic.
But Republicans are wilting flowers who must never be exposed to anything but praise. Even if their accomplishments are thin to nonexistent.
Think of that hero of the Republic, Dan Quayle! Nearly gave his life for his service, what with that blood clot he got for spending so much time on jets. His admonition that we fellow citizens always remember to do our leg-stretches on cross country flights never fails to bring a tear to my eye. As I stretch my quads before the flight to Shelbyville.
August 29, 2008 at 7:43 pm
“Vagina Dumbtata,” huh? Wow, sure is progressive around here.
I frequently refer to Republican males as “idiotic dicks.” I don’t see the contradiction here.
August 29, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Dillon- are you sure she’s had five kids?
The 16 year old daughter was home from school for months with mono right before the youngest shows up on the scene.
Not that anything is wrong with them adopting the baby and raising as their own, its even sort of sweet in a head-in-the-sand family values way.
Unless of course Mr Palin is the father. That’s creepy even by republican standards.
August 29, 2008 at 11:42 pm
There’s an interview of her and Janet Napolitano by Charlie Rose from 2007. (Sorry, I no link). She seemed to be all about oil and gas, but not totally crazy or dumb. Napolitano was about five times as interesting, though.
August 31, 2008 at 2:16 am
You are making a terrible mistake with that “Vagina x” title. To attack this person on sex grounds is a bad mistake. She is a gun-toting right-for-lifer, okay, fight her! She is a Creationist fundie, okay, fight her! She is a big-oil financed global warming denier, okay, fight her! She has a vagina… No! Not an acceptable term. Wake up! You didn’t get it with Hillary, get it now! Or the Dems are doomed!
September 1, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Wow, sure is progressive around here.
You are making a terrible mistake with that “Vagina x” title.
For the reading and/or sarcasm impaired, allow me to point out that the title is a reference to the fact that the McCain campaign is vastly underestimating the intelligence of women by selecting Palin – acting on the belief that women are so clueless that they’ll vote for Palin just because she is a woman, positions be damned.
If you had read past the title, you would have found me making this exact point all the way down in the second sentence which reads:
He must really think women are stupid: Me woman. She woman. Me vote for Oldy McSame.
Followed up by sentences two and three:
This brought to us by the same mindset that thought pretty-boy Dan Qauyle would attract women voters. The campaign via Tiger Beat theory.
Though I understand the futility of expecting all readers to get past sentence three before issuing their harsh condemnations of a short, three paragraph post, if you had managed to fight your way all the way through the second paragraph you would have found these clearly mysoginistic points:
Admittedly, we of the male persuasion can frequently cede control of the bridge to our genitalia, but it’s not when we enter the voting booth (I said voting booth). And given that women are smarter than men generally speaking, and much less prone to cogitate with their junk, this is, to put it simplay, FUCKING FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL.
Thank you. Come again.
September 1, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Just to add, the entire “Vagina Dentata” myth is just that, a myth. In modern settings, it speaks to the fear of women that many men are afflicted by.
My title refers to another nasty little myth about women.
If you need me to explain it further, shoot me an email.
February 25, 2009 at 1:25 pm
[...] “talent” Bobby Jindal to counter Obama. Similar to the belief that Sarah Palin would attract women voters because of the uteri in common, the GOP figured it could chisel in on Obama’s popularity by [...]