- As bad as preseason football is, preseason announcers are worse.
- Big winners in the Brett Favre circus?
1. The Dolphins. Chad Pennington, when healthy, is a top 15 QB. He isn’t spectacular, but he makes good decisions and doesn’t kill his team with mistakes. I know NY Jests fans don’t like to hear it, but that’s why you all are the scum of NFL fandom. He won playoff games for you, you ungrateful jackoffs. Yeah, he’s injured too much, which sucks, but the Dolphins running game may be able to hold off the blitz this year.
2. God help me, the Jets. Contra That’s some epic suck.
- Big losers?
1. The Packers. What? Were? You? Thinking? Aaron Rodgers sucks. This is no slight against Aaron Rodgers, just a simple fact of the NFL: your hot shit young quarterback who hasn’t won shit in the NFL? Sucks. Sure, this turns out to be wrong for one out of every twenty or thirty hot shit young quarterbacks, but for every Payton Manning there a hundred Rex Grossman David Carr Alex Smiths with better names and better hair who cannot play for shit. You just traded Brett Favre, the best, most popular player in franchise history, so you could usher in the Ryan Leaf Era. And don’t act like the “unretirement” was a surprise – no one making $13 million a year retires. Dumbasses.
2. Favre. He’s always been sort of irritating, mainly because the sports press thinks he’s some kind of demigod, but also because his Good Ole Boy schtick irritates the shit out of me. As most NFL players are obvious pricks, and Favre’s likely prickitude is concealed behind a thin veneer of irritating schtick, Favre gets the mantle of Great Guy. Except, this off season, he threw the biggest diva fit this side of Katherine Heigl. And then he signed on with the Jets, who may – may – get to .500 this year, if Kris Jenkins isn’t broken down and if Damien Woody get bitten by a radioactive Anthony Muñoz. I don’t see it. Favre is the NFL’s all-time leader in every passing stat, and that includes bonehead decisions. Here’s another one.
- Why’d he do it? Money obviously, and attention. My personal theory, though, is that Favre wants consideration as the best QB of all time, and his only claim here is statistical – he’s got all the records. This is a stupid claim, and Joe Montana scoffs at it from on high, but it is what it is. At the same time, he knows that Payton Manning is as tough, more talented, much smarter, surrounded by better talent than Favre ever had, and, barring injury or boredom, will likely break all of Favre’s desireable records in 4-5 seasons, maybe winning another title while he’s at it. Favre will be the all-time leader in interceptions and a guy with as many Super Bowl rings as Trent Dilfer. The only way to avoid this is to play until he’s fifty-eight. He might do it.
- I don’t understand why Chad Johnson changed his name to “Chad Ocho Cinco’. Is there already a “Chad Please Pay Attention To Me”?
- Smartest players in the NFL? OTs, then Centers, QBs, Guards. It can’t be explained, except to note that offensive linemen will rule the world.
- I think that Tony Romo is going to suck this year. No, sorry, not “think” – “pray to Satan”. I fucking hate Tony Romo and I hope he gets traded to the Lions, or ebola. (Not really – no one deserves to be on the Lions.)
- I realize the preseason is meaningless, and I realize that Tom Brady didn’t play a snap and he’s kinda good, but the Patriots looked awful this past month. It’s not just that they lost, but how they lost – their first team guys got handled by everyone else’s first team, right at the line of scrimmage. I could give a shit about cornerbacks, but if you can’t protect Brady, and you can’t put pressure on the other team’s quarterback, you can’t win. On the positive side, Jerod Mayo likes to hit people:
September 3, 2008 at 3:15 am
1) As to the question of what the Packers were thinking, the answer seems pretty clear to those of us who aren’t bedazzled by the tight pants of the NFL’s quarterbacks, cornerbacks, and wide-outs, and pretty much blind to everyone else on the field:
The Packers were thinking, “We’ve got a stifling defense, a nice offensive line, and an otherwise solid program that can make a tottering geriatric QB look like a magical fairy unicorn. So yeah, fuck that overpaid unicorn, let’s win some more playoff games.”
2) As to the question of whether or not Tony Romo will suck, the answer is yes, he will suck, not because of his inherent suckiness, but rather because you haven’t heard anyone say anything nice about any important part of his team in ages.
3) The day that chest-pounding internet fanboys start typing extensively about left tackles and centers will be the day that it will again be safe for people who actually like football to start using the interwebs again. And it will probably mean the Patriots dynasty is over, too.
September 3, 2008 at 3:19 am
1, 2 & 3) Football is nothing but rugby for sissies.
September 3, 2008 at 4:02 am
It’s not the money for Favre. He’s got kaboodles and can get more just by doing another TV commercial. It’s the life. You know how when a Republican gets out of prison and he has a compulsion to start lobbying and soliciting pages again? Like that.
When Favre permanently retires, I don’t think he’s going to deal with it well at all. Lot of different possibilities: painkiller addiction, heavy drinking, eating his weight in fried shrimp every week — okay, the last doesn’t sound too bad, but you know what I mean. There are only so many times you can mow your lawn, even if you have a twenty-acre spread and the bitchingest riding mower in the world.
September 3, 2008 at 5:28 am
Brett Farve is fucking awesome. Period.
Agreed, Pennington is a really smart guy who post surgery does real damage. I doubt the cast of Dolphins is going to help much.
The Patriots will score around 70 points every week, per usual.
The Eagles aren’t all that, but still pretty good.
The Browns are worth a look as a sleeper.
Cincy and Baltimore are fucking terrible.
As long as Bob Sanders is playing defense and Manning at QB, Indy is tough.
The Vikings are blowing it with Tarvaras Jackson could get his shit together, who knows? He’s surrounded by a nice group.
JP Losman is the best QB in Buffalo, duh.
It’s always about the Injury list, personnel knowledge, and yards per point on O and D when considering a wager. It’s brought me to 64% over three years.
September 3, 2008 at 6:00 am
I agree there was nothing encouraging about the Patriots’ preseason play, but that was not really their starting O line, it never played intact due to injuries. Also, I think you’re going to see much more of a short passing game this year, not the stubborn and often counterproductive commitment to the long ball. Brady will be getting rid of it in a hurry.
The real question mark is the defense, not just the backs but the linebackers. Their classic squad went over the hill and now they’ve got a lot of unknowns.
As for Favre (who can’t even spell his own name correctly), the Packers did have to trade him. Regardless of whether their current QB option is going to suck a moose, they have to look to the future. The Jets just fucked themselves over for at least two years, undoubtedly much longer, while the Pack will be able to assess and head on down the road. Much smarter.
September 3, 2008 at 6:08 am
Agreed the Vikings are one player away from the Super Bowl. Unfortunately that player is the QB. Actually Tarvaris has talent, but he has got a shit load to learn still.
By the time he learns it, his knees may be done for.
Of course, the Packers seem to know how to handle the Vikes, so maybe not. But the Vikes, FWIW, also seem to know how to handle the Giants, so things even out a bit.
September 3, 2008 at 6:13 am
Oh yes, and important point to remember: quality of play in preseason is for most teams, highly inversely correlated with quality of play during real season.
Reasons are obvious: teams that are trying new plays and new players out a lot are in reality pretty deep and can afford the experimentation. These experiments will usually be busts. Also there’s the ‘surprise’ factor that at least a few coaches actually want to have going for them.
September 3, 2008 at 6:22 am
Granted, I watched a total of three patriots games last year, including the one the lost (heh heh) but I didn’t think their Offensive line was all that impressive. At least two of those games featured a lot of images of Brady getting the crap knocked out of him at regular intervals, and then standing up and looking like he had just put on his uniform and walked on the field. Only very late in the season (like, the last 5 minutes of the superbowl) was there any evidence that he had a flesh brain, rather than a cyborg computer brain. So in conclusion, it’s better to have a cyborg for a QB than good passing protection. Brett Favre may be good, but he’s no cyborg.
Chad Pennington may be a cyborg, but he’s not nearly as advanced as Brady. god I hate the patriots. (Eagles fan)
September 3, 2008 at 6:29 am
Here in NYC we think the Jets win at least 10 games. Let’s revisit this at the end of the season.
September 3, 2008 at 8:09 am
but the Dolphins running game may be able to hold off the blitz this year
The Dolphins have a running game? Are you counting on Ronnie Brown or Ricky Williams to provide that?
The Jets just fucked themselves over for at least two years, undoubtedly much longer
By pushing back the Kellen Clemens era? Don’t see it. What the Jets did is ensure that a bunch of local morons shell out enormous money for season tix in their new stadium.
But it’s not like their QB situation was promising or futurey before Favre came to town. At least he gives the fans false hope that can be crushed into a lifeless pulp one more time – while said fans are being soaked for exorbitant “seat licensing” fees in the process. That’s gotta count for something.
I fucking hate Tony Romo and I hope he gets traded to the Lions, or ebola.
Word.
September 3, 2008 at 8:09 am
Its hard for people who haven’t followed the Packers to understand, and even some people who think they understand the Packers, but Ted Thompson has wanted Favre gone from day one. He canned Sherman and instead of even giving Mariucci a token interview to appease Favre he brought in a guy with a completely different offense than what Green Bay had been running. Suddenly you heard things leaking out about how maybe this would be the best time for Favre to hang it up with this new system. In addition Thompson refused to bring in talent to help the current team (the Packers are an astounding $30 million below the cap this year. That should get a GM fired). He’s fielder teams that had huge holes in the defensive backfield and OG for the past three seasons and hasn’t done anything to really fill them trying to build for the future.
Thompson refusing to give a freaking 4th round pick for Moss pretty much sealed the deal. My guess is Favre bought into the play for one team myth and really didn’t want to play anywhere except GB and he knew he wasn’t really wanted there. As the offseason went on he said screw that and decided to force Thompson to actually get rid of him.
As for the Packers, they lost their best DT because Thompson didn’t want to pay him (again $30 freaking million below cap), their corners may have one season left, their best wideout is the wrong side of 30 and they are handing the reigns to a QB who managed to knock himself out of two seasons backing up Favre. 2 games, 2 season ending injuries. And their backup is a 7th round draft pick.
September 3, 2008 at 8:12 am
Fuck footballl.
September 3, 2008 at 8:26 am
Thank you for your thoughts steve. A truly provocative contribution to the conversation. Dare I say, mavericky?
September 3, 2008 at 9:07 am
You aren’t fooling me. You can butch it up with football you want. What that post was really> about was dishing out the cattiness to Katherin Heigl.
September 3, 2008 at 9:15 am
Yeah but, Bas-0-matic, if you have seen the Brady porn video theEditors has published not once but TWICE here, you’d know that theEditors is hardly deserving the appellation of ‘butch’, unless as some sort of gay slang.
September 3, 2008 at 9:18 am
Twice? Have you not been reading long?
September 3, 2008 at 9:55 am
At least that I know of.
Maybe he slipped another one in there.
September 3, 2008 at 9:57 am
So to speak.
September 3, 2008 at 10:10 am
Pleased to tee that up for you, sir.
September 3, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I love it when you talk football. But you can’t say anything bad about Brady or the Patriots. It will give me nightmares.
September 3, 2008 at 3:57 pm
The one thing I share with Favre is a love of the Vicodin, and for that I wish him well. That is the extent of what I know about modern “Football”.
Of course, real football is a sport in which the players kick a ball using their feet (and no, bringing in a scrawny dude to kick field goals, before fleeing the field to avoid getting crushed by 300 pound behemouths, does not count)
September 3, 2008 at 5:19 pm
May the gods of torn ACLs put a hex on Miami for trading Jason Taylor.
September 3, 2008 at 7:04 pm
We made a lot of progress today. There was lot’s of sharing. We learned “things”. Important ideas were explained.
September 3, 2008 at 10:38 pm
I have some possible dawgs to pick fur week 1.
Bucs
Baltimore
Cleveland
Raiders
Vikes
September 3, 2008 at 10:41 pm
You know what? Fuck the Browns, the Cowboys are too fast for that line. On the other hand Roy Williams is terrible.
September 4, 2008 at 8:23 am
Steve, your gravatar is hot.
And Kleber, your looks like a pair of lungs, but not in the ‘hot’ way.
December 5, 2008 at 11:09 pm
whoever that asshole is,manning would have to play in every game for at least the next nine years,with that shot foot to even tie favre,that is heresay you pussy,you are probably a desk working faggot that never had dirt under his nails,also montana picked favre as his all time greatest qb,so did staubach,etc ill take their word jealous asshole,favre is the man,and i am not even a fan i just go by his amazing ability. i bet you are as tough as him,hee hee.manning ever throw a block,run?