While the Democrats fritter and fret about going to negative, John McCain is rat fucking your children.  I shit you not.  Here’s the text of McCain’s latest ode to fucking underage rodents:

“Obama’s one accomplishment? 

Legislation to teach “comprehensive sex education” to kindergartners.

Learning about sex before learning to read?

Barack Obama.

Wrong on education. Wrong for your family. “

As one might expect, given the high moral standards of John McCain and Karl Rove, the ad is complete and utter sleazy, salacious bullshit.  The go-to formula for Republicans.  The Base loves it. 

Hilzoy has the facts about the ad: The bill in question wasn’t sponsored by Obama, it didn’t even pass, it did not require teaching “comprehensive sex eduction” to kindergartners (it specifically required “age appropriate” and scientifically sound tutelage), it allowed for any pupil at any age to opt out from attending any such classes, etc.  Here’s the best part though:

So why, you might ask, did kindergarten even come up in the bill? Well:

“Barack Obama supports sensible, community-driven education for children because, among other things, he believes it could help protect them from pedophiles. A child’s knowledge of the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching is crucial to keeping them safe from predators.”

Helping kids protect themselves from sexual predators by teaching them the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching. Horrors. And totally the same as teaching kindergarteners about sex.

Then again, given the modern day Republican party’s sexual proclivities, one can understand the reluctance to teach kids to ward off creepy old men.   It’s something of a cock-block, and McCain has the cruising habits of his constituents and colleagues to look after.  Your kids?  Not so much.

My first reaction was to shake my fist and demand that the media not let McCain get away with this filth.  Call him out on this shit, and tie it into a broader narrative of a man so panting, so sweaty, so desperate to win the White House that he will switch any position, kiss any ring, fluff any nutter, say, literally, anything about his opponent.  A man without a shred of integrity.

But then I remembered that Bush and Rove have been getting away with this same routine for decades.  Why would the media get a clue now?   “Because,” you might respond, “the very infrastructure of our nation is falling apart, the middle class is shrinking, Americans are suffering without health insurance while their homes are being foreclosed, our standing in the world is diminishing daily, global warming is raging out of control threatening the longevity of the human race, income disparity is approaching Gilded Age levels, etc.  The media surely recognize the stakes are too high this time to get caught up in the frivolous bullshit and tip-toe around lies for fear of angering some faction or other.” 

You are so naive.

That shit doesn’t matter.  What matters is that Sarah Palin is sassy.  She wears glasses and has a funny hairdo.  She’s just like you and me – not too smart, not too competent, not too nice - just right!     

It sells as well as bad TV: She shoots guns!  He doesn’t play by the rules!  Think Hart to Hart, but instead of two rich bon vivants solving crimes, the codger and the mean girl start pointless wars, transfer massive amounts of wealth from working Americans to the Paris Hilton set and continue to run government into the ground by appointing lobbyists and cronies to the most important offices.

Besides, the media is owned by big corporations like GE (NBC), and the GE’s of the world tend to do quite well in Gilded Ages (although personally, that’s shortsighted – depressions are a bitch even for the fat cats).  Nevertheless, GE recently intervened to knock Keith Olbermann down a peg because he was getting too loud and too liberal.  Glenn Beck is fine though.  Joe Scarborough too.  Tucker Carlson is edgy!  Fox News doesn’t exist.

My friends, expecting the media to live up to even some middling ethical standard is pointless.  Don’t complain, fight back.  It’s incumbent on everyone from Barack to the guy on the bar stool to swing big, hard and often.  Fuck the issues, fuck decency, fuck the facts, fuck civility.  That’s a loser’s sport.

Do I expect the media to show the same leniency when the Obama camp plays dirty?  Of course not.  But at least we’ll go down swinging, and we just might convince enough Americans that our willingness to fight is attractive in its own right.  Or that John McCain’s desire to protect pedophiles is unconscionable.