So curv3ball ascended Mount Sinai in search of instruction from Shakira’s Ass. Though he struggled to fix his gaze on the Lord, in all its terrible brilliance and glory, amidst the whirl and jiggle of divine gyration, the burning bush spoke. A message was imparted to curv3ball and curv3ball was to take this message to the people:
Colombian superstar Shakira says Democrat Barack Obama is the best candidate for president, citing his leadership skills.
In a statement Saturday, the Grammy-winning pop artist said Obama can restore peace and the world’s confidence in the United States. Obama faces Republican presidential nominee John McCain in the Nov. 4 election.
Obama said he was honored to receive the singer’s endorsement. The Illinois senator praised Shakira as a role model for young Latinas in the U.S. and beyond.
Shakira encouraged U.S. Latinos to vote in November.
The United States “has a profound importance to me, and I think to the whole world as well,” she said.
So it was written, so it must be done. Shield your eyes mortals:
(via the DCR Machine)
October 6, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Ass?
While the heroic John “Patriot” McCain was having group sex with his Vietnamese jailors in exchange for honorable silence, Barack “Black Satan” Obama was building truck bombs with his Tonkas.
And now Shakira “Drug Lord” is in league with these liberal fascists. The MSM must be destroyed.
October 6, 2008 at 3:31 pm
IN GLUTIMUS MAXIUMUS VERITAS
October 6, 2008 at 3:42 pm
amidst the whirl and jiggle of divine gyration, the burning bush spoke.
I’m not sure I like the way this metaphor is getting mixed…
October 6, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Hips don’t lie. Obama/Biden in ’08.
October 6, 2008 at 3:47 pm
I’m not sure I like the way this metaphor is getting mixed…
But you did sit up straighter on the couch…
October 6, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Add Shakira to the list that includes Paulina Rubio, Jessica Alba, Alejandro Sanz, Fat Joe, Julio Voltio, John Leguizamo, Luis Guzmán, and Don Omar, among others.
But don’t worry, Sen. McCain. Daddy Yankee’s got your back.
October 6, 2008 at 4:29 pm
You forgot that 70-year-old Brazilian woman who endorsed McCain.
October 6, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Also, Ricky Martin endorsed Clinton in the Puerto Rico primary, but you can bet good money he’s no PUMA.
October 6, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Finally a religious endorsement that feels right.
They’ve got to slap you upside the head, right?
.
October 6, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Don’t make me pull out my Joe Dallesandro loops.
October 6, 2008 at 6:20 pm
It’s actually kind of amazing that she can do that and sing at the same time. Seems like it would interfere with diaphragmatic breathing.
October 6, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Oh, goodie! Sarah Palin with a beat.
Maybe we should just bring back Slick Willie’s yackety sax and buy him some real Cuban stogies.
October 6, 2008 at 6:43 pm
So sayeth Shakira, so let it be done.
October 6, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Do you think she knows she’s doing that? Maybe it’s a nervous tic or something.
October 6, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Huzzah! Now could somebody please call 911?
The Ass-Father
October 6, 2008 at 7:52 pm
I agree, the Che Guevara poster is VERY nice…
http://art.cafepress.com/item/barack-quotchequot-obama-large-poster/234858330
I found this wingnuttery to be quite funny as well…
http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/2008/06/idolizing_both.html
Query; is being a wingnut worse than being a moonbat?
October 6, 2008 at 9:18 pm
I’m sure I’m not the only male in America who, when Shakira’s Ass shook, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, “Hey, I think she just shook her ass at me.” And her hips. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, they were gyrating so much it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can’t be learned; it’s either something you have or you don’t, and man, she’s got it.
October 6, 2008 at 9:22 pm
“She’s got a GREAT ASS … and you’ve got your head ALL THE WAY UP IT!”
That’s all I could think of. For completely different reasons, of course.
October 7, 2008 at 5:58 am
That video was too subtle for me. I’m not sure what Ms. Shakira was trying to elicit in her movements. I mean, I have no background in dance, so maybe someone could explain to me what she was trying to accomplish?
October 7, 2008 at 7:00 am
It’s only fair that Shakira should weigh in on the politically liberal side, given that the McPalin campaign are now acting like Colombian right wingers accusing the opposition of consorting with ‘the terrorists’ (the FARC guerrillas) so that the right wing government’s friends in the narco-paramilitary death squads soon show up or send messages to the nice liberals that their lives are likely to end soon.
October 7, 2008 at 7:28 am
Wow.
when the starbursts shoot around the room, are they the starburst candies? or some other kind of starbursts. Cause I definitely haven’t seen any candy flying out of my screen, but maybe I’m misunderestimating what is supposed to happen here.
October 7, 2008 at 7:28 am
also:
WOW.
October 7, 2008 at 7:55 am
when the starbursts shoot around the room, are they the starburst candies?
Maybe sequins flying off her pants. Not even heavy-gauge nylon can withstand those forces.
October 7, 2008 at 8:08 am
Maybe sequins flying off her pants. Not even heavy-gauge nylon can withstand those forces.
Seas don’t part themselves.
October 7, 2008 at 8:16 am
They’re not starbursts, they’re sparks from the burning bush.
October 7, 2008 at 8:30 am
Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!
October 7, 2008 at 9:24 am
Who is the real Barack Hussein Obama? Who is the real Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll?
October 7, 2008 at 4:58 pm
that was sooo ghetto
October 8, 2008 at 9:34 am
I was initially a little bit uncomfortable with Senator Obama’s praise for Shakira (which by strong transitivity means praise for her Ass). Then I realized he didn’t say she was a good role model.
You forgot that 70-year-old Brazilian woman who endorsed McCain.
We’ve deliberately kept quiet out of a sense of fair play. Her endorsement consisted of: “Vote for McCain. He has to be good at something.”
October 8, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Obviously a REAL artist.
Gotta appreciate her subtlety.
But it’s all over for her the moment her ass goes in for a solo career.
“Vote for McCain. He has to be good at something.”
Not if the current Clown-In-Chief is any indication, he doesn’t.
October 10, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Do you think she knows she’s doing that? Maybe it’s a nervous tic or something.
I keep coming back to this thread again and again, just to re-read that comment.
October 11, 2008 at 7:18 am
hafta tie a twoXfour across your skinny hips to keep from being swallowed, whole, but i’d hit it…
November 26, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I gotcher nervous tic right here, Herr Doktor.
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