Pity Dennis Prager! The homos have nearly got him!
Next to the presidential election, California Proposition 8 is the most important vote in America.
It will determine the definition of marriage for the largest state in America, and it will determine whether judges or society will decide on social-moral issues.
Now, given that this anti-gay marriage proposition is being put up for a public vote, when would think that any result would, by definition, reflect the decision of society. One would, of course, be horribly wrong, because Jerry Brown, “a liberal Democrat”, is very, very mean. Also terribly mean: liberals. Or something – I don’t know, it makes no sense. But what are the stakes? Prager:
[I]n May 2008, four out of seven California justices decided that they would use their power to make a new definition: Gender will now be irrelevant to marriage.
As a result of this judicial act, the only way to ensure that we continue to define marriage the way every religious and secular society in recorded history has defined marriage — as between men and women — is to amend the California Constitution.
Indeed, one must simply look at the examples of the Netherlands, Belgium, Massachusetts, Canada, Spain, South Africa, and, soon, Norway to see how, after allowing gay marriage, these societies were erased from the pages of recorded history, leaving no counter-examples to Prager’s argument. This leads us to wonder: would the mythical land of Atlantis have ever sunk below the waters had its citizens more fully appreciated the distinction between Adam and Eve and Adam and Steve? Puts the rising sea levels attributed to so-called “global warming” in a whole new light.
Prager continues, asserting that gay marriage opponents are not motivated by hate; which, in Prager’s case, is plainly true. Prager is motivated by comical fear:
The sexual confusion that same-sex marriage will create among young people is not fully measurable. Suffice it to say that, contrary to the sexual know-nothings who believe that sexual orientation is fixed from birth and permanent, the fact is that sexual orientation is more of a continuum that ranges from exclusive heterosexuality to exclusive homosexuality. Much of humanity — especially females [oh, Ja! -Gunther] — can enjoy homosexual sex. It is up to society to channel polymorphous human sexuality into an exclusively heterosexual direction — until now, accomplished through marriage. But that of course is “heterosexism,” a bigoted preference for man-woman erotic love, and therefore to be extirpated from society.
Any advocacy of man-woman marriage alone will be regarded morally as hate speech, and shortly thereafter it will be deemed so in law.
Companies that advertise engagement rings will have to show a man putting a ring on a man’s finger — if they show only women fingers, they will be boycotted just as a company having racist ads would be now.
Films that only show man-woman married couples will be regarded as antisocial and as morally irresponsible as films that show people smoking have become.
Traditional Jews and Christians — i.e. those who believe in a divine scripture — will be marginalized. Already Catholic groups in Massachusetts have abandoned adoption work since they will only allow a child to be adopted by a married couple as the Bible defines it — a man and a woman.
Anyone who advocates marriage between a man and a woman will be morally regarded the same as racist. And soon it will be a hate crime.
Chilling. And that’s even before the inevitable Night of the Tranny Zombies.
It might seem a tad unlikely that a billion-odd years of evolution could be overturned by a single state failing to change its constitution. But then, you probably believe in evolution, you poor, all-of-history’s-tragedies-causing fool. It might seem a smidge odd that while homosexuality endures despite media and cultural disapproval and the ubiquity of heterosexual marriage, heterosexuality will, within a generation, be completely abolished if children see two ladies register for china. But then, you are probably insufficiently sensitive to the terrible, polymorphous allure of homosexuality, which can only be resisted by constant, obsessive affirmations that it will destroy the world, and by driving any acknowledgment of its existence from the public realm. You may even think that getting so ridiculously worked up about it seems kind of, well, kind of gay. Shows what you know.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is vote Yes on #2 or we’ll all be furries by Christmas, leading to the decline of Human Civilization and/or rug burn. Fact: no religious or secular society has ever gotten egg nog out of mascot fur.

October 22, 2008 at 9:23 am
[...] [Via: TPMI.] [...]
October 22, 2008 at 9:31 am
Already, the Infidels move to defile It/Her:
Paramount Acquires Movie Rights to Shakira’s Ass
“On the movie side, we already have a few projects underway. For instance, we’re basing the sequel to The Core on Shakira’s rear. In the original film the core of the earth had stopped spinning, and a ragtag band of scientists had to drill to the center of the earth. Once there they detonate a nuclear weapon to get it spinning again. In The Core 2: The Day Shakira’s Ass Stood Still, Shakira’s booty has stopped shaking, and a ragtag band of scientists need to do some fancy drilling to get it started. Leading men have been lining up to be a part of the cast.”
October 22, 2008 at 9:48 am
Shorter Dennis Prager: Legalized same-sex marriage will lead to even more women rejecting me.
October 22, 2008 at 10:26 am
Indeed, one must simply look at the examples of the Netherlands, Belgium, Massachusetts, Canada, Spain, South Africa, and, soon, Norway to see how, after allowing gay marriage, these societies were erased from the pages of recorded history, leaving no counter-examples to Prager’s argument.
We’re still here.
October 22, 2008 at 10:41 am
As a result of this judicial act, the only way to ensure that we continue to define marriage the way every religious and secular society in recorded history has defined marriage
Nuh-huh. There was the short-lived Bruce Republic, a German City-State, which existed for 73 years before they changed the wallpaper. And of course, who the fuck can tell about France anyway? Gay or European? Both, I say! Plus: The Vatican. It’s an entire religious society where chaste men give their lives to some other dude. IT’S TOTALLY GAY, DENNIS.
Someone should alert him.
October 22, 2008 at 11:10 am
Something should be done to curb the initiative and referendum process. Could someone put a proposition on the ballot that would deny rights to black people? Would that show those activist judges who have thrown out eons of white supremacy throughout the Western world? WTF?
This is madness. Human rights should not be subject to a vote.
October 22, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Just to clear things up, I wasn’t taught to watch Shakira’s ass, I was born to watch Shakira’s ass.
October 22, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Dennis, Dennis, Dennis
It is not that bad, I can see that some pitiable individuals (like yourself) will be confused by this. But in the end even you will find happiness with the girl/boy for you.
October 22, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Where, pray tell, are the archives from prior to 2008? I was seeking a particular piece of kitten porn, the series with the kittens infected with various forms of moonbat madness.
October 22, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Sadly, Plan “Escape to New York!!” has failed. Herding the gays to Manhattan isn’t working since they prefer California. Therefore, tougher liberal fascist look-alike (but not liberal fascist since we’re all good Christians here) measures must be employed by government until private enterprise steps up to the plate. Remember, the survivalist’s worst fear is the latent homo bunkmate. We best get cracking before Obamadamnednation happens.
October 22, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Much of humanity — especially females [oh, Ja! -Gunther] — can enjoy homosexual sex.
[slaps self squarely on forehead] Damn! Up until now I had absolutely no idea I could have been enjoying homosexual sex along with that other kind, and that it was only marriage which prevented me from being gay all those years before I became married.
October 22, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Along with all the other tripe, why is it that “especially females” can enjoy homosexual sex?
October 22, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I welcome the passage of Prop 8 which is the only thing standing between us and the important business of herding heterosexual Christians into extermination camps.
October 22, 2008 at 2:40 pm
shorter Prager: gay male sex = should be condemned because it makes me feel icky and disgusting and I am strangely drawn to it, as are any number of our GOP ‘family values’ politicians
gay female sex = should be condemned because it’s way better than straight sex and decreases my chances of getting action.
October 22, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Fortunately for you, you will be able to make up for lost time when the liberal fascists unveil their crowd-pleasing “enforced homosexuality/burn the Bible” agenda in 2010. You will be assigned a gay lover when you renew your library card. Oh, yeah, there will also be ENFORCED BOOK-READING!!!!
I refer you to “College Chicks Pound Jager Bombs, vol. MMMXCVI”, which is, I believe, the authoritative text regarding this phenomenon. Now available on VHS.
October 22, 2008 at 3:21 pm
If only I had the money to be able to fund a robocall campaign with this message.
October 22, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Stop trying to make Dennis gay! Dennis knows that men know what men like but he stopped eating your candy for at least a month now and he has to help all the other victims from getting gay.
Prop
1 – High Speed Rail – Yes
2 – Standards for Confining Farm Animals – Yes
3 – Children’s Hospital Bond – Yes
4- Constitutional Amendment – Abortion Choice Restrictions – NO
5 – Nonviolent Drug Offensives Sentencing, Parole, and Rehab – Yes
6 – Criminal Penalties and Law, Removing Judicial Discretion – NO
7 – Renewable Energy Generation – NO, (I agree in principle but this is a poorly written law.)
8 – Constitutional Amendment to Eliminate Right of same sex-couples to Marry – NO
9 – Parole and Victim’s Rights – NO (Redundant law, prop is misleading)
10 – Bonds for Natural Gas Vehicle Purchase Refunds – NO, (See 7)
11 – Redistricting to Benefit California GOP – NO
12 – Veterans’ Bond Act – Yes
October 22, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Prager’s most worried about the potential chaos on Couples-Only Tuesdays at the adult theatre out on exit 21. Scripture doesn’t explicitly say “discount nights shall be M/F only” but it’s clearly implied.
October 22, 2008 at 5:04 pm
“…sexual orientation is more of a continuum…”
Very cool. I will be lesbian Monday and Thursday, straight Tuesday and Friday and tea dancer on Sunday afternoons between 2pm and 4pm.
October 22, 2008 at 6:09 pm
The Babble is full of “marriages” with one man and many, many women. That makes Dennis a liar about the Sacred Scriptures, and we all know that liars go to Hell. I foresee Dennis spending eternity being told that he’s about to see women enjoying sex with other women, but never actually getting to see them.
October 22, 2008 at 6:27 pm
[...] John O under Political | Tags: Dennis Prager, Teh Gay, The Editors, The Poorman Institute | A beauty of a post, on one Dennis Prager, someone I see on my TV from time to time (where are the standards!) and who, [...]
October 22, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Is that a picture of Dennis? If so, I can certainly see why the least hint of gender confusion gives him the heebie-jeebies.
No, that can’t be Dennis the hetero he-man, right?
October 22, 2008 at 7:06 pm
What do you know! I went to his site, and that picture is indeed worth more than a thousand words. Well Dennis Prager’s words anyway. Actually I should have known right away it was him- he looks Pragers.
October 22, 2008 at 7:19 pm
This argument totally convinces me, other than the fact that many societies around the world, including several within what is now the US, have allowed same sex marriage. As to why especially females can enjoy homosexual sex, it has to be more attractive than having sex with Prager.
October 22, 2008 at 7:26 pm
I foresee Dennis spending eternity being told that he’s about to see women enjoying sex with other women, but never actually getting to see them.
I’ve had days like that. If it’s not the slow dial-up connection, it’s the pop-up windows proliferating across the screen.
October 23, 2008 at 8:01 am
How is that first ‘L’ in the title not a ‘N’?
October 23, 2008 at 10:27 am
“The homos have nearly got him!”
Um, well, in a word, yes. I wish there was a way to give him back, but, no, he sounds very, very, perhaps unspeakably, gay. I mean, he’s advertising it, for chris’ sakes!
October 23, 2008 at 10:51 am
The only way to resist homosexuality is with an impregnable wall of firm Republican pedophilia.
October 23, 2008 at 11:02 am
Dude, what is up with that picture of the furry in a spiderman bikini? That shit ain’t right…
October 23, 2008 at 11:48 am
By sheer coincidence, the title of Gert Jonnys new album is California Proposition 8, although in the original Scandinavian it equates to Kjheljonia Pragerphfffftttsssion Acht…
October 23, 2008 at 2:40 pm
“It is up to society to channel polymorphous human sexuality into an exclusively heterosexual direction — until now, accomplished through marriage.”
Yeah, that worked real well for Larry Craig, didn’t it?
October 23, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Where, pray tell, are the archives from prior to 2008?
This blog did not exist prior to 2008.
No, really. This blog did not exist prior to 2008.
So stop saying that.
October 23, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Where, pray tell, are the archives from prior to 2008?
http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://thepoorman.net
October 23, 2008 at 10:55 pm
I love Alvin and the Chipmunks!
October 24, 2008 at 8:53 am
[...] near-panicked Dennis Prager in his most recent gay marriage cri de couer testicules that The Eds linked to earlier this [...]
October 24, 2008 at 4:48 pm
I really, really want to know where the wingnuts get the idea that every society in the entire history of the world has had the exact same standards of marriage we have, and gay marriage is the first time in the history of ever that it’s been changed.
How ignorant can they be? Why is outlawing polygamy and cousin marriage, and allowing intermarriages of people in the same moiety less of a change then letting two guys marry?
It’s also weird how Dennis the very progressive and forward thinking idea that sexuality is a many-splendored thing, a continuum composed of infinite permutations, not just a crude binary choice between gay or straight, and then goes right ahead and says, “And we need to crush that kind of behavior.”
He’s very explicit about the fact that Measure 8 is designed to stifle natural sexual expression.
I suppose all the anti-gay folks are like that; a central tenant of their belief system is the idea that we’re all itching to go gay, and social disapproval is all that stands in the way of the human race going extinct in a massive orgy of non-procreative sex.
Still, though, it’s rare to hear it phrased in such a blatant way. It makes me feel like maybe Prager could stand a visit from Dr. Freud, to deal with his repression issues.
October 29, 2008 at 4:24 pm
[...] Step 2: Repeat until election is over. Posted by The Editors under Uncategorized Noted non-gay hetrosexual who is 100% hot for the ladies Dennis Prager, 2008: Equality, which is the primary value of the left, is a European value, not an [...]
April 8, 2009 at 9:16 pm
55% of the American people oppose gay marriage.
Are we all wingnuts?