The People’s Revolutionary Council for Centrism 4 Connecticut for Lieberman, after careful deliberation, announces today its endorsement of the Republican ticket of John McCain and Sarah Palin for President as the ticket most likely to usher in an era of bipartisan civility. We also endorse all other hardcore Republicans for everything else, chide Democrats for being partisan, ask that we not play “the blame game” regarding Republican misdeeds of the past decade or five minutes, and respectfully call Barack Obama a troop-killing unAmerican Commie terrorist.  Seriously.

While there are many figures and thinkers who have influenced our thinking on this weighty decision, there was one in particular who focused our minds on the key issues with crystaline clarity.  We refer here not to Joe the Plumber, but to Gene the Wisest Human, whose groundbreaking theory of Time Cube is perhaps the most lucid defense of the right-wing Republican agenda and record:

SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE IS MORE MODERATE THAN BARACK OBAMA’S ELITIST EDUCATED STUPID. THOSE WHO DO NOT ACCEPT THIS DESERVE DEATH. 96-HOUR CUBIC DAY GIVES SARAH PALIN TIME TO GAIN GRAVITAS AND GIVES US ADVANTAGE OVER TERRORISTS WHO DENY TIME CUBE.

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JAMES GLASSMAN IS WORLD’S WISEST HUMAN. WORLD ECONOMY IS NOT IN RECESSION AS EDUCATED STUPID SNOTBRAINS CLAIM. THE 4-DAY DJIA CUBE IS 36,000, EXACTLY AS PREDICTED, BOOMING ECONOMY WHILE FALSE QUEER SINGULARITY MARKET GOES BUST. RECESSION IS MASSIVE GROWTH UNDERSTANDING TIME CUBE. REPUBLICAN 4-CORNER DJIA CUBE ECONOMICS IS COMPLETE SUCCESS. THOSE WHO DO NOT INVEST IN DJIA CUBE DO NOT DESERVE LIFE ON EARTH.

TED STEVENS IS BEING PERSECUTED FOR UNDERSTANDING THE SECRET OF 4-WAY TIME. PRISON IS A SERIES OF CUBES. TED STEVENS BRIBE CUBE PROVIDES 96-HOUR FAITHFUL PUBLIC SERVICE IN EACH 24-HOUR ROTATION OF BRIBE CUBE. EVIL WORSHIP OF ONEISM IS CONTRADICTED BY BRIBE CUBE.

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SARAH PALIN IS THE WISEST OF HUMANS. SHE CAN SEE SIMULTANEOUS RUSSIA FROM HER HOUSE 4 TIMES USING 4-WAY ICE CUBE. THE 4 SIMULTANEOUS CORNERS OF ICE CUBE MAKES HER OUTFITS COST ONLY $37,500.

IF YOU ARE ENSLAVED BY SINGULARITY YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND BLOG CUBE AND YOU WILL BE KILLED. BLOG CUBE LETS ME READ THE CORNER 4 TIMES IN ONE 24-HOUR DAY. THE KERNING ON BARACK OBAMA’S FAKE BIRTH CERTIFICATE WAS DISCOVERED 4 TIMES IN ONE ROTATION OF BLOG CUBE.

SIMULTANEOUS TAPES OF MICHELLE OBAMA YELLING AT AFRICAN BLOGGERS WILL BE RELEASED TO FOX NEWS 4 TIMES IN A SINGLE ROTATION OF BLOG CUBE. I POSSESS MATH AND SCIENCE PROOF THAT JOHN MCCAIN WILL RECEIVE 168% OF THE POPULAR VOTE USING 4-WAY BLOG CUBE. IT IS NOT IMMORAL TO KILL EDUCATED STUPIDS WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND BLOG CUBE.

I am Joe Lieberman, and I approve this message.