In honor of thecoming 8-year mental breakdown which will consume and destroy Wingnuttia, the legendary Kippy Awards for Excellence in Wingnuttery will be returning this year, bathed in glory and/or gin. Expect competition for The Purple Teardrop with Clutched Pearls Cluster to be especially fierce this year, and for the eventual winner to emerge in the next week or so. Actually, I’ll be very surprised if anyone can top this:
230 years of the United States of America has come to an end. On November 4, 2008, liberty died. The Communist Revolution has finally arrived.
Except with this:
Obama flys the flag of Anti-Freedom for the United States
Radical Islamists in a coalition with Communists have taken over the country. They murdered 3000 of our citizens on September 11, 2008. We defeated them on the battlefields in Afghanistan and Iraq. Now they’ve defeated us here on our own soil.
Freedom lovers, and members of politically incorrect ethnic groups need to take extreme caution.
As our Parisian masters might say: Le Awesoume. (The apostrophe is suppressed, just like politically incorrect ethnic groups.) Even Crazy Pam will have a tough time topping that. Post ‘em if you got ‘em. A fully-endowed Chair in Quantum Kittenometrics to everyone who finds someone claiming that the election of the race-transcending Obama (over their howls of protest) means they are cleared to start saying “nigger” in polite company. Needs to be more explicit than this.
November 5, 2008 at 11:12 am
Can someone photoshop Obama into a Goosebumps horror story cover image?
That’s really the level at which these wingnuts are operating.
November 5, 2008 at 11:13 am
From the Jonah link:
Lots of readers are putting words in my mouth about my general happiness about having a black president. I’m not going to spend the day, or even the next few minutes, arguing with a lot of strawmen. However, there is a very important political point here I think more folks should appreciate. Many of Obama’s biggest supporters insisted that an Obama presidency would magically translate into racial transcendence.
Such a remarkably unaware
moronmoran is he.November 5, 2008 at 11:20 am
No. Defacing the Sacred Image of THE ONE is punishable under Femislamic Sharia Law by compulsory re-education.
November 5, 2008 at 11:31 am
Post ‘em if you got ‘em.
Date of publication: January 8, 2008.
November 5, 2008 at 11:41 am
possible nominee
November 5, 2008 at 11:47 am
Wow, Juggs is off the hook! I would lean towards her screed because she’s a more influential wingnut.
Someone should keep an eye on Agent Flowbee, too.
November 5, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I’ve seen two stories in the “media” wondering what us satricizin’, irreverentdists will be able to laugh at now that the dignified Obama will take office.
I really don’t understand their question. It’ll be a lot like the last 8 years, but with a President who doesn’t step on every fucking rake ever made. The wingnuts will be crazier. The food will be tastier. The sex will be better.
Plus, Depressions are inherently funny.
November 5, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Those right blogosphereists used to be a cross between a Founding Fathers mythology story time club and Fox News soundbites. But that pot got boiled down to inbreeders, jailbait and latent homos a long time ago. We don’t want their kind at our camp. Well… except for Ms. Pamela Shrugs. But she’d have to wear a ball-gag.
November 5, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Elections have consequences…
Suck on THIS…
Fool me twice, shame…won’t get fooled again!
No one could have imagined…
Drill, baby, drill!
You betcha!
Ah, the verbal delights of the last eight years.
November 5, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Speaking of Juggs…I’m watching Fox News for the first time in about six years today and John Bolton is on opining about Obama’s foreign policy challenges.
Here’s to crazier, tastier, sexier wingnuts!
November 5, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Here’s to crazier, tastier, sexier wingnuts!
And mustache rides!
November 5, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Pam, honey, you know this would all be a lot easier if this were a dictatorship.
November 5, 2008 at 12:51 pm
the Editors: His official title (p.b.u.h.)is no longer to be given in White-tongue. It is now: ‘ Al-Ahad ‘ (the One).
November 5, 2008 at 1:04 pm
And mustache rides!
Only 5¢!
November 5, 2008 at 1:15 pm
“Now that the election is over, it is time to put partisan considerations aside and come together as a nation to solve the difficult challenges we face and make our blessed land stronger and safer.” – Joe Lieberman (CT-Desparate)
November 5, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Only 5¢!
It’s a recession after all…
November 5, 2008 at 1:21 pm
“Now that the election is over, it is time to put partisan considerations aside and come together as a nation to solve the difficult challenges we face and make our blessed land stronger and safer.” – Joe Lieberman (CT-Desparate)
Does CT have a provision for recall elections for Senators? I can’t believe we have to put up with Isadore for another four years.
November 5, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Not election-related, but dripping with awesome: http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/05/meanwhile-in-an-alternative-universe/
November 5, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Who would have thought Krugman would up the shrilliernesstude?
November 5, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Absolutely brilliant. Hilarious news.
November 5, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Rahm Emanuel’s father was a terrorist, but on our side, but Obama is Hitler.
My head’s gonna pop.
November 5, 2008 at 3:52 pm
“Freedom lovers, and members of politically incorrect ethnic groups need to take extreme caution.”
Echt wing-nut: the ringing, faux-eloquent call to patriotism, the pseudo-technical precision, and the always-vigilant caution–and all in the service of being barking mad.
Also: K-Lo hopes Obama will name Bolton as Sec. of State.
A girl can dream, can’t she?
November 5, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Rahm’s last name clearly suggests he is pandering to late night Cinemax viewers.
November 5, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Freedom lovers, and members of politically incorrect ethnic groups
Surely the two descriptions are synonymous.
John Bolton is on opining about Obama’s foreign policy challenges
After his spanking by Simon Schama, I trust they gave him a nice comfy cushion.
November 5, 2008 at 4:14 pm
i think the craziest stuff you will find on the web this year is at the API site. it’s not just the industrial grade wankery, nor is it enough that the commenters there think nothing of having the ball pulled from them over and over and over and over. it’s the quality of otherwordly lunacy. it’s like no quarter on a steroid/LSD combo analogue. it’s funky retarded.
and its african. but in norway!!!
November 5, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Ralph Nader: tireless attention whore.
He’s developed a nervous tic in his right eye — adds to the charm.
November 5, 2008 at 4:28 pm
herr doktor,
I didn’t see Schama smacking him down but I’d love to. Book, video, telegram?
November 5, 2008 at 4:44 pm
What in the green hell is a “libertarian republican”, anyway? A (millionaire|sucker) who thinks roads just happen?
The misery and fear of these people is a tasty treat, and I love it. Because they choose to hold on to the fear even though what they’re terrified of will never come true.
November 5, 2008 at 5:11 pm
“After his spanking by Simon Schama, I trust they gave him a nice comfy cushion.”
Link, cite, please?
November 5, 2008 at 5:17 pm
“After his spanking by Simon Schama, I trust they gave him a nice comfy cushion.”
Link, cite, please?
I found it on teh google. This site http://edgeofthewest.wordpress.com/ has it embedded. It’s from last night’s BBC coverage. I didn’t really see it as an ass-whipping, but Bolton always looks and sounds like a douchebag.
November 5, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Failed academic, Jeffy G:
.Precisely the kind of self-righteous civility that fried McCain. Want to be clapped on the back for your decorum? Fine. Just say so.
But let’s not pretend you are being honest or principled. Graciousness is one thing; praise is another.
This “good man” was involved in ACORN blackmail schemes. With an attempt to fraudulently undermine the Second Amendment by gaming court rulings. He got rich off of schemes that led to the mortgage crisis — then stood by and let others fix it in order to keep his hands clean during the final stages of an election. He has thrown in with race hustlers,”reformers” who believe that domestic terrorism was a valid form of expression, odious foreign potentates –
There is nothing at all noble about praising a man and a party who reviles you simply because in doing so you appear noble. Jews have tried that. And it’s often ended with skeletons and ash, or the twisted wreckage of a bus in Tel Aviv.
In this case, it will end with more McCains — and so more Obamas and Reids and Pelosis and Olbermans.
If that’s nobility, I’m not interested. Yes, Obama is my President. But that doesn’t mean I’m forced to forget all he’s done to get there — and all that’s been done on his behalf, either by the savage supporters who went after Joe the Plumber and Sarah Palin, or by the “objective media” that sold its soul for a shot at establishing the government it desired.
A good man?
A good politician, sure. A dedicated husband and father, yes. But a good man?
Sorry. But good men don’t lie, cheat, steal, and throw longtime supporters by the wayside just so they can rise to power — even if they’ve convinced themselves they’re doing so for some Greater Good.
Because the fact is, in this country, they’re not supposed to get to decide what that is. We are.
The rest is hubris.</
November 5, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Good Lord. I’ve never bothered before but I might start trolling wingnut blogs just for the lulz.
November 5, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I like rycK’s willingness to footnote every god-damned thing with a link to himself. Also:
November 5, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Hi,
I’d like to nominate Mr Graeme Bird for Wank of the Year, for apparently believing that the election of Obama means that there are aliens on mars:
http://graemebird.wordpress.com/
“Supposing there was evidence that Mars had been colonised. Not that life had evolved there. But that the planet had been for a short time home to some sort of outpost? Supposing that someone told you that “there is evidence that Mars once had some sort of outpost of intelligent life there.”
What would you say? What would you think? What would be the COUNTERARGUMENT to that statement? Supposing you said “You are crazy” in reply? Supposing you said “What has happened to you?” Supposing you said “No there is no such evidence.”
Well to some folks these are powerful arguments that go deep into the heart of the matter. To some folks the combination of statements such as this, along with feeble jokes and general flippancy…….. are decisive. We might call these people Obama-sympathisers for the depth they see in arguments of this sort. We could call them Obama enthusiasts for their perception of depth where no such depth exists.
I prefer to call them complete fucking retards. I don’t find these sorts of statements any kind of substitute for COHERENT THINKING METHODOLOGY.”
As we know, COHERENT THINKING METHODOLOGY is known by its use of BIG CAPITAL LETTERS. That SHOWS IT’S LOGICAL.
I nominate for this award specifically due to this description of the criteria:
“A truly outstanding wank should humiliate the audience, shame the human race, and really raise some serious questions about whether this whole “Big Bang” enterprise was really such a hot idea.”
Here is Mr Bird on the Big Bang
“Do you imagine you know that the Universe is only 13.5 billion years old and so hardly enough time for such shenanigans? I assure you you know no such thing. The Big Bang theory is appallingly bad theory and far from proven. Actually its quite ridiculous.”
Further down he states
“I’ll have to take time to find out more about this election. But its very scary as to what it says about America and the prospects for them and the rest of us. The Americans have elected an incredibly stupid Marxist demagogue to the Presidency. This guy is an idiot. An empty suit who followed a strategy of saying almost nothing of substance, so that people could use him to project any damn thing they wanted to onto them. And they FELL FOR IT. Its the new illiteracy. If the people on Saturday Night Live imply that Palin is stupid thats enough for them.”
And not taking any time to find out about the election is enough for him.
Warning: Mr Bird is capable of awesome levels of personal abuse if he notices you.
November 5, 2008 at 6:06 pm
I don’t know about you, my comrades, but I’m much more excited about the re-education camps than the internment ones.
Plus, we get cool berets!
November 5, 2008 at 6:13 pm
“A fully-endowed Chair in Quantum Kittenometrics ”
What — am I a mere rat to be fucked thusly by the natural enemy of my species? I see the color of your Big C Cockunism for what it is now.
THIS is freedom, democracy & a pony?
Obamage, I call it, sir: Obomage. And the end of civilization as we knew it.
Good thing this is all I got:
“If Obama is really mischievous and defiant, he could do something like take his oath of office on a Koran, or have Jeremiah Wright offer an official prayer during his inauguration, or have William Ayres sitting in the front row during his swearing in (maybe all three).
He probably would have sense enough not to be so bold prior to the official vote of the Electoral College, which still could legally reverse the election if he gave them cause.”
November 5, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Fuck, Ricky! Don’t spoil the beret surprise! We don’t get ‘em until January. Mine has a red feather, fyi.
November 5, 2008 at 7:15 pm
I can’t decide whether to nominate this whine for the Fluffy or for the Purple Teardrop with Clutched Pearls Cluster.
November 5, 2008 at 7:24 pm
[...] The Poorman Intitute for Freedom & Democracy & a Pony posted in: [...]
November 5, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I like rycK’s willingness to footnote every god-damned thing with a link to himself.
Didn’t Hofstadter have something to say about the excessive deployment of footnotes, in a kind of cargo-cult nod to the outward signs of academic rigor, as one marker of the paranoid style?
I can back that up with footnotes, if necessary. Or rather, ‘footnotes’ if ‘necessary’.
November 5, 2008 at 8:36 pm
feeble jokes and general flippancy…….. are decisive.
Oh buggery bollocks. We’re busted.
November 5, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I like rycK’s willingness to footnote every god-damned thing with a link to himself.
I like the post of many colors.
Didn’t Hofstadter have something to say about the excessive deployment of footnotes, in a kind of cargo-cult nod to the outward signs of academic rigor, as one marker of the paranoid style?
Here’s the version of “The Paranoid Style” that first appeared in Harper’s. The same passage in the book’s version is a bit different, but the overall structure and message are the same. Go to the section called “Renegades and Pedants.”
Precisely the kind of self-righteous civility that fried McCain. Want to be clapped on the back for your decorum? Fine. Just say so.
But let’s not pretend you are being honest or principled. Graciousness is one thing; praise is another.
Patterico responds at comment #101. Whee!
November 5, 2008 at 9:10 pm
you know, graeme bird’s argument for alan keyes for secretary of defense makes a lot of sense. a good deal of sense. it’s sensible. contains logical suppositions that support the thesis. in fact, i would say the thesis statement and the conclusion are in complete harmony. some (you know who you are, your sentient types, your “coherers”, that sort) might argue that the post contains without doubt the most asinine and deeply insane idea ever. but then again, his alternative name, angelo codevilla, frightens me so much that i am hesitant to google him, lest whatever it is he is follows me home from the internets and strangles me in my sleep.
November 5, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Why doesn’t The Toot™ have those awesome SodaHead ads?
November 5, 2008 at 10:54 pm
X Gilchrist: I reckon the fluffy, since Shapiro isn’t complaining about his own hurt feelings, but someone else’s.
November 6, 2008 at 12:10 am
Thats marvellous work Haughton you idiot.
But the Mars discussion is unrelated to having this unqualified know-nothing Marxist win the election. The two subjects are unrelated.
But you always were a complete idiot weren’t you Haughton?
November 6, 2008 at 12:19 am
Off topic, but I just wanted to say
1)I’m happy with the results of the election, spent a lot of time here in 2004
2)I worked the phones for this one for the first time in my life (46), and
3)shouldn’t someone check in with Time Cube Guy?
November 6, 2008 at 1:05 am
An eight-year mental breakdown will not destroy Wingnuttia. It will only make it stronger and wingier.
If the mental breakdown of the last eight years is any indication, that is.
November 6, 2008 at 1:53 am
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/11/5/173137/449/952/610275
Meet the cabinet.
November 6, 2008 at 1:56 am
Can I also say that this is my favorite of all of the major, well, indy major Awards Programs and all of the blogs nominated go into a special folder on my Safari Bookmarks, simply marked, “crazy time”.
November 6, 2008 at 1:59 am
I call this one, “Michelle the Moron.”
http://michellemalkin.com/2008/11/05/and-the-real-winner-ispeggy-the-moocher/
November 6, 2008 at 5:07 am
A kindly soul would set up a kind of Good Bye Lenin! style blog to protect their weak hearts. Special news reports of how President Bush, after the nation decided he was needed for a third term, was visiting Bush Freedom Square in Baghdad. Ads for Surge Cola could be shown and comedy would ensue explaining why there were black panthers on the street when they stumbled outside.
November 6, 2008 at 7:07 am
..honestly fell asleep last night around 9:30pm. It was in the bag for me, no need for reassurance. Then I woke up to let the cat out at 4:00AM and found myself standing in my living room staring at CNN. He pulled it off. O.K.. good then. Back to bed.
My wife half awake: “obamelohoney?”
Me: “uh….heh heh what?”
Wife: “blue money?”
Me: “haha.. are you talking in your sleep?”
Wife: “no.. who won??”
Me: “oh..Obama won.”
Wife: “ah.. Good then.. zzz”
She’s so cute.
I got up later, drove to work and just stared at all of the Obama signs on US19 during my 45 minute commute. It seemed that there was a giant Obama poster right in front of every closed business. As if to say “enough of this shit right here.”
At work my boss had a rather large McCain Palin sign mounted on my desk as a joke. I thanked him and put it on someone else’s desk. I realized that it wasn’t really hitting me. I had a sense of well.. hope. But not happiness. Relief but not joy. Then I had lunch with a republican co-worker. I never bring up politics with this woman because she uses the same talking points as Rush Limbaugh and I usually want to strangle her by the time she’s through. She started in on Jesse Jackson and how she saw him crying last night.. she had no point. She just hates Jesse Jackson and black people I guess. She actually said this to me once.. “I don’t know why the blacks don’t have any good leaders.”
I said (regrettfully): ….waddaya mean?
Her: “Like Martin Luther King-”
Me: “-pfft Well probably because some racist piece of shit killed him.”
She told me that she was a little depressed.. that McCain lost. Then she said that she’s worried her taxes will go up.
Me: “well.. do you guys pull in a quarter million a year?”
Her: “Oh no.. we’re middle class.”
Me: “Well then your taxes won’t go up.”
Her: “Well first they said it was 250k then 150k then 100k they keep moving that number down.”
Me: “Well no.. they haven’t moved the number, it’s always been the same on paper, you’re repeating some stuff from Fox News that they got from Joe Biden gaffes or something.”
Her: “Well I hope that he can handle the problems in Pakistan and India.. General Patraeus’s surge has gotten things working in Iraq and Afghanistan at least.”
I found it hard not to laugh at the stupidity of that sentence. The urge to strangle crept up for a second..
Me: “Well.. actually.. Iraq has been getting a little more violent in the recent days and the surge is over, the Awakening had quite a bit to do with violence levels dropping too y`know.”
And then I had to explain the Awakening to this fool, and Sunni’s, and Shia, and Iran, and Turkey and Kurds and Al Sadr and the whole mess.
Her: “I’m kinda suprised that there weren’t more riots last night.. I read in an e-mail that they were going riot whether they won or not.”
Right then it hit me. It was all very clear very suddenly. An immense glee just flowed through my brain when I realized it. I DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS SHIT ANYMORE. I don’t have to school republicans on how retarded their chosen leaders are. I don’t have to explain foreign policy to someone who is never going to give a damn about non-americans anyway. I don’t have to knock down every Ayers/Wright/Socialist/Muslim/Terrorist/Marxist regurgitated piece of mindless stupid bullshit thrown at me. For right now, it doesn’t matter what they think of him, it doesn’t matter if they believe Osama Bin Laden is going to be the next Secretary of State. It doesn’t matter if they never learn or if they teach their shittie little kids their own rascist ideologies, it doesn’t matter if they whine, it doesn’t matter if they complain about everything Obama does for the next four years. It doesn’t even matter if they don’t like me anymore. Why?
I WON. YOU WON. WE WON. THEY LOST.
Let them think Obama is a muslim with terrorist buddies who will raise your taxes, burn down your house and eat your children. Let them believe all of their own crazy, lies and let them lose sleep over it, because that monster is now the PRESIDENT.
Her: “Well John (husband) is really worried because of Obama, he said be prepared to move, now they’re gonna have unions at the factory and they’ll have to close down and go to another state now.”
Me: “yeah….. elections have consequences.”
November 6, 2008 at 7:32 am
So we are talking about a site dedicated to running down poor white taxpayers? Is that right?
Tarring poor white taxpayers with the 70′s brush and using this Goth-child mindless-irony to paste over the dumb-leftism and mindless support of leftist trends. The latest one being Obama.
November 6, 2008 at 11:18 am
Uh oh. You’ve stepped in it now, Editors…
November 6, 2008 at 11:23 am
Why, yes, it is. This site’s mission statement is “Free ponies for femislamic socialist freeloaders on the backs of poor white taxpayers.”
Are your papers in order? Comrade The Eds — audit him!
November 6, 2008 at 11:38 am
Danny-
That is a great story.
I think it sank in when I called my sister to co-gloat with her, and got her answering machine and found that all I could say was “holy shit! holy shit!”
I feel like after Bush, who I’m almost certain was only reelected to piss liberals off, Obama is like the perfect comeback in a stupid argument. “you have a born-again ex-drunk end-times-believing revenge-seeking fake-cowboy from with an MBA from Yale? well we have a Black liberal with an African name and a law degree from Harvard. suck. on. that.” In some ways his immense competence and leadership abilities are just the icing on the cake.
November 6, 2008 at 11:58 am
I support that Shapiro nomination. And Danny, that is a great story.
As for Jonah, I see he’s up to his standard shtick, bemoaning straw men while his entire thesis is a straw man. He even tries to cover his ridiculous claim that liberals said an Obama election will mean we’ve “transcended race” with an update claiming liberals, err, Democrats, will claim they’ve never said what they’ve indeed not said. For Jonah and his fellow racial pioneers Rush Limbaugh and Bill Bennett, an “end to racism” means, “I won’t called on my racism anymore.” But you’re right, it’s not explicit enough. Bring on the Malcolm X love child!
November 6, 2008 at 12:04 pm
When I click the graemebird avatar to see it better, it runs away into the upper left corner and gets smaller, so small I can no longer see its beady little eyes.
Like it’s ticklish or something. Being temptible (rhymes with…) , I rapid-clicked the little bugger huddling in its corner. It chirped thusly:
“The Americans have elected an incredibly stupid Marxist demagogue to the Presidency. This guy is an idiot. An empty suit who followed a strategy of saying almost nothing of substance, so that people could use him to project any damn thing they wanted to onto them. And they FELL FOR IT. Its the new illiteracy. If the people on Saturday Night Live imply that Palin is stupid thats enough for them.”
Based on this, I’ve concluded he is not a trustworthy source of information on Mars, Martians, Martian politics, Martian energy strategies, much less Martian movies or Martian video games or…
In time, there will be drugs to help such people without creating side effects as bad or worse than the cure. For now, I can onu offer my sympathy and suggest prayers to Saturn. Because Xmas is coming. There is evidence to suort this assertion. We can review it. And see for ourselves. Using COHERENT THINKING METHODOLOGY as scried through a rotating cube of quadratic time.
November 6, 2008 at 12:13 pm
graemebird brings teh awesome.
http://graemebird.wordpress.com/2008/11/05/cabin-fever/
Oddly, it’s the “Its the new illiteracy” part that made me smile. Discuss.
November 6, 2008 at 12:21 pm
“Discuss.”
You spelled ‘discus’ wrong. Throwe.
November 6, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Maybe you should discuss or throwe it at graemebird’s comment areas — they’re either empty or just him having a tea party with imaginary friends.
November 6, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Look, “Kenmeer”, if that is your real name, I’ve had about enough of you and your beating me to the comment by 9 minutes or so. I notice your gravitar is very…pale. Your type will not be very favored in the new Muslim-African and purple world.
November 6, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Off Topic:
Teh Intertubes should buy Sasha and Malia a pony named Holden. Seriously. They only cost a few hundred.
November 6, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Plus, we get cool berets!
You’re getting a beret? I was told I’d have to settle for a Kaffiyeh.
November 6, 2008 at 2:23 pm
i can get behind this:
http://www.allamericanblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/palin-nugent500px.jpg
November 6, 2008 at 3:05 pm
“Look, “Kenmeer”, if that is your real name, I’ve had about enough of you and your beating me to the comment by 9 minutes or so. I notice your gravitar is very…pale. Your type will not be very favored in the new Muslim-African and purple world.”
Kenmeer is my Muslobamic name. It means Giant Mouth of Infinite Wisdom. Livermaile means Stankfoot. The invisible middle initial means Gets Extra Berets And A Pony.
November 6, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Because libruhls are such simple-minded folks, after all:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3IWKhYQarJU
November 6, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Your type will not be very favored in the new Muslim-African and purple world.
Yes comrades, purple for Teh Ghey.
November 6, 2008 at 3:55 pm
let’s see, Kemp, Cheney, Palin… yup I think the next unit in this sequence is Nugent.
November 6, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Go on, mock graemebird all you want.
Then go read his Martian post and reflect on the fact that, for every apostrophe he omits, he’s raking in a kewl dollar-three-eighty from the Bad Grammer (sic) League.
Now who can afford to retire, and who cant, bitchizz?
November 6, 2008 at 4:48 pm
graemebird: “poor white taxpayers”
I thought conservatives just spent a month telling us that poor people don’t pay taxes and thus Obama’s propsoed tax cut for poor people was actually Welfare??
November 6, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I thought conservatives just spent a month telling us that poor people don’t pay taxes and thus Obama’s propsoed tax cut for poor people was actually Welfare??
You fail to understand there are two kinds of poor people in Wingnuttia: whites (struggling to make ends meet = good) and blacks (lazy welfare cheats = bad). Duh.
Check out this wank from Hugh Hewitt over at Clownhall:
President-elect Obama is receiving his first full CIA brief this morning, the same one President Bush is receiving. While I am certain President-elect Obama and his team have been studying up on the Islamist threats around the world, today begins his certain responsibility for protecting the U.S. against it, and with that responsibility I expect to see a significant change in the president-elect and his team. I have long thought that President Bush’s lack of partisan response to many partisan attacks has been rooted in his deep awareness of the conditions in the world, and I expect that awareness will change President-elect Obama quickly and towards the same sort of anti-partisanship that Bush has displayed except in the very last months of the electron cycles of ’02, ’04, and ’06.
November 6, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Check out this little number the Doughy One scrawled out with his Crayolas and safety scissors for the New York Post. There’s too much wanking going on so read it for yourself but I found this the cream of the cream:
The CPC, colloquially known as the “big swinging caucus” after an unfortunate joke by then-Republican Minority Leader John Boehner after a scandal involving Rep. Barney Frank (see side story)…
Is the Doughy One aware that John Boehner enjoys teh penis as much as Barney Frank…?
…pushed Barack Obama on a wide array of fronts: they demanded very large cuts in the military budget, a sweeping government expansion into the role of healthcare, and in a move that experts agree caused the Wall Street Panic of 2010, they persuaded Mr. Obama to make the government’s partial ownership of the remaining “Big Five” banks permanent.
The Wall Street Panic happened in 2008, Jonah.
Clean your plate as you always do so Mommy Dearest doesn’t break out the coat hangers.
November 6, 2008 at 5:20 pm
The electron cycles? That can only mean one thing: HUGH HEWITT IS A ROBOT!!1!1
November 6, 2008 at 5:22 pm
No oldhat,
This is one of those “fortune telling” slashfic efforts that hack writers like to fart out from time to time because there, in imaginary world, there are no facts he has to ask his readers to check out for him.
November 6, 2008 at 5:24 pm
These guys are amazing! They already have a president-elect website up and running detailing what can be expected throughout this transition process. It’s strikingly similar to the Barack Obama website that helped make his campaign an online success.
November 6, 2008 at 6:38 pm
230 years of the United States of America has come to an end. On November 4, 2008, liberty died. The Communist Revolution has finally arrived.
Liberty died, he really died!
Does anyone else get the sense that “Communism” is really a code word for “nigger” w/r/t wingers fever dreams about OOOGABOOGABOOGA DEATHOFAMERICA?!?!?
Also, Karl Marx.
November 6, 2008 at 6:50 pm
This is without any doubt the lamest collection of dumbasses I’ve ever seen. .
Here you all are trying for this wise-ass feel to your posts. When what it really comes down to is that you’ve jumped on the vacuous hope and change nothing-talk.
Dewey-eyed woolly-minded leftist attempting to sound smart and cool.
Your act aint working.
November 6, 2008 at 6:57 pm
“OOOGABOOGABOOGA”
Greatest word in entire galaxy. Thickens white lips with frequent repetitive pronunciation, makes dogs spontaneously roll over to have their tummies rubbed, gives 60s avant-garde serialist electronic music a good beat that is easy to dance to, and makes me smile like a big slice of watermelon eating fried chickenhawk.
Right up there with BOOMSHKALALAKA and:
Open the Door
November 6, 2008 at 7:00 pm
“Your act aint working.”
We are all collecting the dole. Are you lonely too? We feel your pain.
In our ass(es).
Eerily, the Chinese verboform ideogram for graemebird is a hypen.
November 6, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Except for the last post.
Thats better.
November 6, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Liberty died, he really died!
I think he was talking about Liberty Valance. Obama’s headed back to Shinbone to bury him.
November 6, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Gawd, you guys(n’gals) are grate!
In our house it’s “Booga, Booga. Be UhSkerd!”
.
November 6, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Having looked at Graeme Bird’s website I have to say that he might be on to something. I think we can all agree that the republican’s should have nominated Alan Keyes, can we not?
November 6, 2008 at 9:28 pm
graemebird you’ve said too much. obama’s thugs are coming for you.
November 6, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Alan Keyes is making hella sense, y0. I love it when he gets that crazed look in his eye and starts babbling ’bout aborty-bort-bort-bortion.
Back to the Kippies, what ever happened to Ben Domensch?
I nominate Ace of Spades for the Golden Cheetoh Award in the field of General Warblogging Badassery on the Internet. If you fuck with the Ace, he’ll roll a D20 on that ass and kill your battlemech with a laser sword like it was nothing. He knows all of the specs on the totally rad gear the Marines are using in the field, too, so backdafuckup, commies.
November 6, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Traitors, traitors, everywhere!
http://michellemalkin.com/2008/11/05/the-mccain-campaigns-classless-cowards/
November 6, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Never read anything by Goldberg before (I know, lucky me). But the question has been asked a thousand times, to a thousand interviewees:
“Do you think the election of Obama will result in a post-racial America?”
In my hearing range, the answer, without exception, has been some variation of:
“No.”
So Goldberg here builds himself a straw man, which then proceeds to beat the shit out of him.
November 7, 2008 at 12:45 am
http://www.nicedoggie.net/2008/?p=2903
Can I have that chair in Kittenometrics, yet?
November 7, 2008 at 7:27 am
This bit of blather from Vox Day is pretty hilarious.
Excerpt (ok, almost the whole thing): Seizing the intellectual high ground of education has always been a priority for totalitarians. Marx advocated it, Lenin prioritized it, Hitler incorporated it into his 25-point plan. It’s important because it negates the natural advantage of conservatives, which is that they propagate themselves. Socialists, by and large, don’t, which is why they have to propagate by parasitic conversion.
Since it’s now far too late to salvage the USA in its present form, the important thing is to build for the future. If there’s one thing certain about dysfunctional societies, it is that they are doomed to collapse. Therefore it is much more important to focus on building a foundation for future freedom than to chase after yesterday’s vanished liberties. Having children and teaching them well is the single most significant and revolutionary act any individual can reasonably hope to achieve at this time.
The short-term battle is over and the USSA is upon us. But it will be a short-lived entity by virtue of the Invisible Hand’s iron fist; the only real question is if its successor will be the North American Union or a collection of rump-states of widely varying social structures. Five years ago, I would have assumed the former, but now, given the increasing devolution in Europe and chaos in Mexico, the latter is looking rather less improbable than before.
November 7, 2008 at 8:20 am
can entries be exceptional comments or do they have to be blog posts/articles? just a technical clarification request.
November 7, 2008 at 8:35 am
I am not The Editors, but I suspect that even if comments aren’t eligible, they’re probably just as entertaining.
November 7, 2008 at 8:51 am
michelle malkin comments always provide entertainment. on the “peggy the moocher” post:
” On November 5th, 2008 at 5:33 pm, obdurate said:
I wants my reparations(even if can’t spell it)and don’t be giving me no 40 acres and mule,I wants my 40 acres and a Lexus.”
http://michellemalkin.com/2008/11/05/and-the-real-winner-ispeggy-the-moocher/#comments
November 7, 2008 at 8:53 am
sorry i forgot two more classy ones on that malkin page:
“#
On November 6th, 2008 at 11:44 am, Gorebot said:
All I know is…
“Mo’ guvmint = Mo’ bettah. Hey, whey my weffare check be at???”
Next stop: National Bankruptcy Court.
#
#145
On November 6th, 2008 at 2:45 pm, Weary Citizen said:
Proof that we really need to institute some kind of intelligence test for voting privaleges. With ignorant people like this voting, no wonder we are heading toward 3rd world status. God help us.
“
November 7, 2008 at 10:20 am
In honor of the coming 8-year mental breakdown which will consume and destroy Wingnuttia,
So you think they’ll get used to it by his third term, and even grow yo love Obama by his fourth? So do I.
November 7, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I must say. All these people you are quoting. They are putting up a powerful case.
November 7, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Vox says socialists don’t propagate themselves. Hellooooo? Invasion of the nasty brown people? Gates of Vienna? Immigrating hordes? helloooo? anybody home?
These idiots can’t even remember their own talking points.
November 7, 2008 at 7:54 pm
It doesn’t quite enter the realms of Quantum Kittenometry, but over at World-o’-Crap you can read the abridged works of Mary Mostert, originally from RenewAmerica. Mary begins by boasting of her past membership in a South African astroturf black-women-for-apartheid group, then moves on to a detailed point-by-point comparison between the speeches of Barack Obama and those of a certain Adolf Hitler. Unfortunately she spoils the effect by finishing with a detailed anatomy of Obama’s blood purity straight out of the Population Registration Act — “6½% black African, […] 50% Caucasian and 43 ½% Arab” — so you’re left wondering whether she intends the comparison to Hitler to be an insult or a compliment.
November 7, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Excellent behind the scenes election night photos of Obama and his family.
November 7, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Seven-Part Newsweek Insider Story, How He Did It.
November 8, 2008 at 7:55 am
I must say. All these people you are quoting. They are putting up a powerful case.
Yes, a powerful case for universal mental health care and subsidized lithium.
November 8, 2008 at 12:45 pm
The “Ayers ghost-wrote Obama’s book” meme never quite caught on like I thought it would, but it was a bit of a soggy biscuit:
http://www.americanthinker.com/2008/10/who_wrote_dreams_from_my_fathe_1.html
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OTlkMTdmNDRkMTM1ODZkNGNkZmRiNDFjMDE4YzRjMjg=
November 8, 2008 at 1:25 pm
What about the fact that Obama is a fraudulent candidate since he isn’t a natural born citizen and cannot legally be President?
Does that bother you guys or are you going to simply wish it away through faux-irony.
Face it. You have to do the right thing and get this Marxist to stand down.
November 8, 2008 at 1:26 pm
The problem with being totally goth-lost in faux-irony like you clowns is that you are building the case for the opposition with your constant quotes.
November 8, 2008 at 1:41 pm
“The “Ayers ghost-wrote Obama’s book” meme never quite caught on like I thought it would, but it was a bit of a soggy biscuit”
Its only BEEN a week. Jack Cashill is a serious journalist besides his other roles. If he reckons that Ayers ghost-wrote this memoir its extremely likely that he did. Why would you think otherwise?
You crowd are tipping me off to all the good stuff.
November 8, 2008 at 1:47 pm
What about the fact that Obama is a fraudulent candidate since he isn’t a natural born citizen and cannot legally be President?
He was born in Panama??
November 8, 2008 at 1:57 pm
We must continue to support Ms. Palin.
http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/election_2012/69_of_gop_voters_say_palin_helped_mccain
In 4 short years she can study, she can learn, and lead the inbreeder jailbait latent homo army into history. The hillbilly within all of us will then be freed!
November 8, 2008 at 3:32 pm
“Does that bother you guys or are you going to simply wish it away through faux-irony.”
Only after a refreshing spin on FOX news, after which we’ll give it a crisp iron boot heeling.
I like you, graemebird. You remind me of the shadow of a waxwing slain
By the false azure of a window pane.
It looks perfectly clear to you yet it won’t let you inside. Some people smack upon a glass ceiling; others bonk into the patio sliders again and again.
November 8, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Right. But the fact is he’s not a natural born citizen. The so-called US code is irrelevant to this. Because to change the constitution the Congress needs and amendment.
But even under the US code he is disqualified. So its completely unambiguous his lack of legal ability to be President.
Also this Bill Ayers as ghost writer. Thats pretty hard to deny as well. Since were we to not know of the two ever meeting the textual analysis would be enough to suspect Ayers co-wrote this memoir. But on the other hand we do indeed know that these two are associates. Hence the role of Ayers as ghost-writer would have to be close to undeniable.
November 8, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Someone here does not belong. Strangers amongst the loyal. I will weed you out:
“I made a mistake in presuming that the self-interests of organizations, specifically banks and others, were such as that they were best capable of protecting their own shareholders and their equity in the firms”
“We at The Weekly Standard congratulate Barack Obama on his impressive victory.“
“God bless Barack Obama and his beautiful family.”
YOU! Those who will utter such anti-Americany must be placed into the Boo Box. And Factcheck, Snopes, Wikipedia, Urbanlegends… who claim that Obama is legal must also be placed into the Boo Box.
November 8, 2008 at 6:26 pm
“God bless Barack Obama and his beautiful family.”
No doubt about it. They are a fine looking family. Michelle is one hot first lady. Factcheck and all the others are full of shit when they need to be.
Things will be turning for the worse. And he will be under pressure the entire time since he is unambiguously illegitimate.
November 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm
KL, Pale Fire quotes set the wrong tone around here. Please watch your tongue.
November 8, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Faux irony?
November 8, 2008 at 10:52 pm
If we’re still nominating, lots of fun here. Also, please troll it with impunity.
http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general
November 9, 2008 at 4:34 am
goth-lost in faux-irony
Please advise me whether that is a quote from Sam Beckett’s first novel or a line from Cure lyrics. Otherwise I will not be able to sleep tonight.
November 9, 2008 at 5:26 am
[...] Certainly as predicted, the right begins their total freak-out. [...]
November 9, 2008 at 11:15 pm
“KL, Pale Fire quotes set the wrong tone around here. Please watch your tongue.”
You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style,but I thought I was quoting Prince?
November 10, 2008 at 8:34 am
Hmm. Not even wrong.
That’s better.
November 10, 2008 at 2:36 pm
My people are a poor people. We can only offer crumbs, the leftovers the fruithead squirrels leave from their wingnut feasts:
“Also, this ladies entire report is riddled with marxist-socialist class-warfare code speak, “Fairness” and “Income Inequality.”
Did you know that Fairness and Income Inequality are Marxist codespeak?
It’s true. I recently learned that Public Bathroom is Marxist codespeak for Residual Leveraging, or as it was called 150 years ago, Compost Leveling.
November 10, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Hey! Some of us have spent years getting our advanced, taxpayer funded degrees in Marxist Codespeak! Quit cheapening our expertise!
November 10, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Oh god, it’s probably way too late for anything to be noticed here in this thread, but I feel compelled to point out that Roger LOL Cohen is once again making a nigh-unstoppable bid for the Purple Teardrop w/ Clutched Pearls Cluster, here:
Jesus, it’s like he’s baiting us. Yes, that was the problem with the political discourse in this country for the last 8 years: too much anti-bushism! And some of them might have said mean things about the USA! Pass the smelling salts!
Always good to be reminded about where the Times’ actual loyalties lie.
November 10, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Assrocket for the win!
November 11, 2008 at 1:50 am
I second “Obama needs to be a less sloppy speaker and be more like Bush.” for a Kippy.
That is just fucking awesome and hilarious.
November 11, 2008 at 2:49 pm
swoof at #123 beat me to it, but that quote indeed displays Ultimate Winger. Once again, Hindy hits one out of the park.
November 11, 2008 at 6:02 pm
“the Magic Negro™ ”
Until seeing this, my desire for a bit of photoshop scissors and chops was mostly a latency. A mote in my eye. A wren in a rathole.
But now I am filled with the impulse to visualize this fantastic concept:
The Magical Negro
But I think I should leave such work to those who know what they’re doing. I was going for a Black Santa and His Flying Reindeer, right? And I got
this.
November 11, 2008 at 10:55 pm
“Your act aint working.”
Yeah, us libs got skunked pretty bad last week. Even won the popular vote.
November 13, 2008 at 2:23 am
His name is Barry. Its better to call him by his real name. It will help you break free of your delusions.
His name was Barry. He didn’t change it. So his name is still Barry.
November 15, 2008 at 9:22 pm
graemebird seems to have sort of Fight Club fixation on this Barry character. WTFDWTZOMGLOL.
November 17, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Well I don’t suppose there is any harm in you calling him whatever you want.
You guys can pronounce him honorary Caliph . Or call him the twelfth Imam and stick your butt in the air 5 times a day praying to him. You can call him your spiritual leader. You can call him Barrak or you can call him Barry. You can call him Sir or Master or boy. You can him Mr Soetoro, Mr Dunham or Mr Obama. You can call him most anything you want but don’t be calling him Mr President because he is not eligible for that particular job.
November 17, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Wontcha tell us about flouridated water next, Unca graemebird, pleasepleaseplease?
November 18, 2008 at 2:52 am
Well obviously a person ought to simply choose whether to buy flouride treated toothpaste if he wants it. Their ought be no controversy there. Only a mindless crawling insect would think otherwise.
November 18, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Oh witty graemebrid!! Your words are as nourishing as your toothpaste!
November 19, 2008 at 6:00 pm
What is your point Goth-child? Have you said your prayers to Caliph Barry Too-White the first yet today?
You kids really must get over your Obama-mania. He’s not the messiah. He’s not even a natural born American.
November 20, 2008 at 4:03 pm
I have an entry: http://jordan179.livejournal.com/102873.html
Actually, pretty much the entirety of http://jordan179.livejournal.com is applicable.
November 23, 2008 at 7:55 am
Looks like a soggy biscuit may be brewing. Some blogger I’ve never heard of declared Nov 22 as “VI Day” (Victory in Iraq). What could possibly go wrong?
http://www.zombietime.com/vi_day/
Confederate Yankee picked up on it:
http://confederateyankee.mu.nu/archives/278591.php
A few other obscure wingnuts have also jumped on the bandwagon: http://blogsearch.google.com/blogsearch?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=vi+day&btnG=Search+Blogs
December 13, 2009 at 6:28 pm
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