November 2008

I know you wretches all read Roy religiously, so reprinting this post on Glenn Reynolds is redundant.  But repetition is [something insanely clever that starts with the letter "r"]:

But something — maybe the incipience of a wrinkle, suggesting that the Singularity cannot come fast enough — did momentarily put the Perfesser in a solemn mood, and he summoned an “Army of John Galts” to talk about how they would go off the grid if the socialist Obama prevailed, depriving the littlebrains of their essential crafts of law perfessin’, psychologizing, documentary filmmaking, and the like. One such — a newspaper columnist and a “private investor“! How will we do without his unique skillset! — writes:

I want to appease the new administration and not be too productive. So, upon Obama’s passing his new redistribution plan, I will slow my work schedule, lay off a few people (Obama’s got their back) and let someone else bust his tail since I will now be able to get “redistributed wealth” from those poor fools who are ambitious, energetic, work hard and have made good decisions.

It doesn’t occur to them that others will scramble to take their places — well, it does occur to one, but Kartik Gada believes that even immigrants, formerly besotted of America, will also be disgusted with Obama and follow the Galts to… Red China, or some other such paradise where they know how to treat an investor class. Then we’ll all be sorry.

They really believe it. The greed and stupidity of investors far bigger than the Perfesser have done what untold cadres of socialists and communists couldn’t manage in a century — destroyed the good name of American capitalism and put the better part of its assets under government control — and the would-be Galts are threatening to bugger off to China because America might elect a moderately progressive Democrat.

The dastardly IOZ plunges the dagger deeper into the would-be self-inflicted wound:

Anyway, Reynold’s army of John Galts (pray: come, let us snicker together), a gang of pencil-neck Sharper-Image shoppers with dreams of mountain redoubts and rough sex with heiresses, petulantly proclaim that they will . . . well, they do not seem to be proclaiming that they will stop the engine of the world. Rather, they will consider slowing it marginally, like union slugs caging an extra five minutes on every smoke break in order to stick it to Management. The irony. Oh. [...]

My favorite correspondent over at Reynolds’ is the doctor who swears he will stop curing the ill if Obama is elected. He and his family will go out into the woods and live like wild dogs, foraging for food and hunting in packs, rather than allow that Socialist Obama to, uh, lower their standard of living. I mean, I laughed at liberal avowals to move to Canada back in aught-four, but this is just ridiculous.

If you’re not reading IOZ regularly, you’re dumber than a bag full of Doug Feiths.  Rectify.  You’ll thank me.  You know how good he is, I’ll tell you: I’m not, you know, gay or anything, but I’ll admit that his wit makes my Prager Continuum itch a little. 

(via that unqualified one)

Brad DeLong has some thoughts on where Democrats can go on their Man Date:

This degree of Republican partisan entrenchment in the court is–in a word–bizarre. It is not a good thing.

Moreover. this Supreme Court forfeited any claim to be due deference from the other branches of the government when it prostituted its office to install George W. Bush as president eight years ago. It then established a new constitutional principle: that if an election is close and if one party has appointed an overwhelming majority of justices of the Supreme Court, that majority gets to decide the election. [...]

Three of the justices who prostituted their high offices in Bush v. Gore are still on the bench. Either Thomas, Scalia, and Kennedy resign, or congress needs to sanction them. If Thomas, Scalia, and Kennedy will not do the honorable thing, the congress should neutralize them by temporarily enlarge the court to twelve as a one-time sanction for the way in which they prostituted their office eight years ago.

I would add:

  • Statehood for Washington, DC; Puerto Rico.
  • The Fairness Doctrine, and other punitive measures against right-wing media
  • Revoking the tax-exempt status of churches who get involved in politics (cha-ching)
  • Criminal investigations of the Bush years
  • Fuck Joe Lieberman

And we can move on from there.  Elections have consequences, as do all the choices people have made.  What is done cannot be undone, nor can it be forgotten.


… Which is to say nothing of the historic problems Democrats will own fully in 76 days, although they are intimately related to the power politics issues.  I see no reason to think, after the events of the last 16 years, that the Republicans and Republican appointees remaining in government have any interest other than denying the Democrats success.  They need to be beaten, over and over, utterly, in elections and in government, until such time as they have shown themselves deserving of trust.  2010 and 2012 need to be humiliating repudiations of Gingrich-Bush-DeLay-Hastert-Boener-McConnell Republicanism, just as humiliating as 2006 and 2008 were.  Consolidate your gains, and prepare for the next big battle.

Failed academic Jeff Goldstein, 5:47 PM:

The end is near. Americans have chosen socialism. Or, more precisely, Americans have been carefully trained, over a number of years, to chose a candidate based on the most superficial of features (age, appearance), and for the most contrived of reasons (the campaign is “historic”; the candidate represents the “ideal of diversity,” etc).

But sorry: if Georgia and Indiana are too close to call at this point, the transition to a nannystate is just about complete.

Time to regroup and prepare ourselves for the lean years.

Failed academic Jeff Goldstein, 5:48 PM:

[Send me money for blogging!]

I fear Barack Obama’s Europeanized nannystate socialism will have a deleterious effect on the American work ethic, leaving people unwilling to better their situation in lean times through an honest day’s blegging.  The coming collapse of the wingnut welfare system should produce some glorious contortions.



But multiple news orgs are calling PA and OH for Obama, and FL looks to go soon.

This good news for McCain.


… MSNBC calls it.  That freedom should die … and on my watch!

Agenda for the 1st Hundred Days:

1. Sharia.

2. Communism.

3. Compulsory gay marriage for all preschoolers.

4. Surrender to Aztlan.

5. Abortion legal until 12 years after conception.

6. NASCAR banned, replaced by all-male ballet.

7. Official language of the USA: Ebonics.

8. Christmas banned.

9. ‘Red Dawn’ banned.

10. Box turtles.

That should do it.

Douglas Feith is shuffling off to one of those plush neocon retirement homes for incurable tyrants:

After Georgetown University decided against renewing his contract, a brief stay as a Visiting Scholar at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, and his efforts to get a post at the Brookings Institution came to naught, former Undersecretary of Defense for Policy Douglas Feith appears to have found a new home at the Hudson Institute, another predominantly neo-conservative “think tank” that tends to lie in the shadow of the much more media-prominent American Enterprise Institute (AEI). According to Hudson’s latest “News & Review,” Feith, whose self-serving memoir, War and Decision: Inside the Pentagon at the Dawn of the War on Terrorism pretty much bombed with the few credible critics who reviewed it, will be the Institute’s Director for National Security Strategies.

As they say, if it ain’t the AEI, or TPMI it’s the Hudson Toot.  The Fucking Stupidest Guy on the Face of the Earth will have some of his comrades in dumbitude to keep him company at least:

Hudson, of course, was the first refuge of I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby after his 2005 indictment for perjury, but he apparently left after his conviction (and despite Bush’s commutation…

Feith will join other leading Likudist lights at Hudson, including Meyrav Wurmser (wife of former Cheney aide David Wurmser), who heads the Institute’s Middle East Studies department; Hillel Fradkin; Laurent Murawiec; Anne Bayefsky; Norman Podhoretz (not in residence); and Nina Shea, among others. It’s interesting to note that the two Wurmsers, as well as Feith and another Hudson Senior Fellow, Charles Fairbanks, Jr., made up half of the eight members of the task force sponsored by the Jerusalem-based Institute for Advanced Strategic & Political Studies (IASPS) that produced the 1996 “Clean Break: A New Strategy for Securing the Realm” paper for incoming Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu that many analysts believe helped plant the seed for the Iraq invasion eight years later.

Sheesh.  Better keep sharp objects away from that clique.  They make the bloods and crips look like a troop of Brownies.  Speaking of geopolitical gangbangers, throw up your sign for KWA (very NSFW):


See, also, Michael O’Hanlon getting spanked by the speak and spell.

No idea what this means, but I’ll take it:

White people are faced with either a negro or a total nutter who happens to have a pale face. Personally I’d prefer the negro. National Socialists are not mindless haters. Here, I see a white man, who is almost dead, who declares he wants to fight endless wars around the globe to make the world safe for Judeo-capitalist exploitation, who supports the invasion of America by illegals–basically a continuation of the last eight years of Emperor Bush. Then, we have a black man, who loves his own kind, belongs to a Black-Nationalist religion, is married to a black women–when usually negroes who have ‘made it’ immediately land a white spouse as a kind of prize–that’s the kind of negro that I can respect. Any time that a prominent person embraces their racial heritage in a positive manner, it’s good for all racially minded folks. Besides, America cares nothing for the interests of the white American worker, while having a love affair with just about every non-white on planet Earth. It’d be poetic justice to have a non-white as titular chief over this decaying modern Sodom and Gomorrah.

Which offsets the McCain KKK endorsement nicely.  (That’s the KKK endorsing McCain, and not the other way around.  We’re still capable of these sorts of distinctions.)  A proof, perhaps, of the European flavor of modern American liberalism?  Or the yahoo factor – the Klan, with its fancy dress and its Wizards and Dragons and so forth seeming to have more in common with LARPing than even fringe politics.  Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, dude, at least it’s an ethos.

We are on the verge of, quite likely, choosing today as our next President a highly-qualified black man, instead of a crazy white man representing a disliked political party’s failed agenda.  Perhaps as few as 45% of participating adults, here in the early November of AD 2008, will vote for the crazy man promising failure.  There are certainly all kinds of fascinating reasons why people do what they do, and it is one of life’s mercies that I don’t have to listen to them.  It would be wrong to impute all the votes for McCain to racism, or to impute the votes for Obama to its absence, or to get too excited about the Triumph of Progress because perhaps as many as eleven out of twenty adults in the country, for reasons possibly perfectly bizarre, are willing to avail themselves of an alternative to shitting the national bed.  All progress is marginal, I suppose.  It seems that all this excitement over the possibility of choosing a clearly superior black candidate says as much about how far we have to go than how far we’ve come.

… California propositions, SC county measures.

Wingnut morons write Obama 2012 fanfic.  Go ahead, look.  You know you want to look.

The Loader of Pants gets this party started right, mailing in a story about how Obama presidency will be a failure because Joe Biden will go totally crazy and everythingAnd they called Sarah Palin mad! Mad! MAD!! thunders Dr. P-Load from his Fortress of Dough.  But my fanfic WILL SHOW THEM ALL!!1! It is a perfect painted world of wingnut fantasy: Hillary castrates Obama, Barney Frank is brought low by his own faggotry, and policy is never, ever, ever discussed.  Jonah always escapes into airy, self-justifying fantasy when things start getting a bit too real – after months of spinning his own alternate-universe Plame scandal, he had almost managed to convince himself that the target of the investigation was Joseph Wilson.  Life should be more like it is in the movies – the bad (libs, Dems, people who laugh at Jonah) are punished; the good (Jonah) are rewarded for their own innate wonderfulness; and everyone learns a valuable lesson about how, despite every single particle of the endless reams of documentary evidence to the contrary, Jonah is a serious intellecktual and people should treat him with respect.  Doughbob Loadpants’ role in this drama is always passive, a spectator commenting on a mechanical Universe ticking along its inevitable, Jonah-justifying path.  Deviations from this natural order are abberations, experimental error, the work of trickster gremlins in the employ of ACORN, not to be discussed seriously.  If you had puttered a few miles in Jonah’s bunny slippers, you’d think the Universe loved you special, too.  Hey, wooden it be funny if Obama pooped his pants right before the inauguration and Joe Biden fell into cow poo and all the other Democrats were victims of assorted poo-related mishaps which rendered them un-inauguratable?  And so the Supreme Court made John McCain President?  And Sarah Palin won the Nobel Peace Prize in Physics?  And liberals were like TOTALY MAD but there was nothing they could do about it?  Wooden that be TOTALLY GREAT?

Ralph Peters, veteran of the 101st Chairbourne Rangers, takes a more substantive approach than Jonah, perhaps realizing that taking a less substantive approach would necessarily involve a pirated copy of Photoshop and a bunch of penises poking Obama in the face.  Peters fears that an Obama administration would lead to a strengthened Iran with nuclear ambitions, civil war in Afghanistan and Iraq, al-Qaeda rebuilt, absurdly expensive oil, resurgent Russia, a collapsing economy, using state power to gain favorable press coverage, and generally weakening American standing while declaring victory – all things which, this wag can’t help but notice, have already happened under the steady, Peters-approved leadership of George W. Bush and the Republicans.  But Peters objection is not that Pretend Obama has fucked the dog, but that he hasn’t waved his dick around as vigorously as Bush did while he was getting his.  It’s not bestiality if you’re on top, I guess.

Finally, Nicole Gelinas imagines Obama as a Democratic George H. W. Bush, making necessary, unpopular fiscal decisions which antagonize his base.  It’s not particularly plausible, true, but consider the competition.  And consider also how out-of-touch with current wingnut talking points this is – Obama is a secret Marxist!  Democrats worship him like Jesus Hitler!  He’s crazy and everything! Come on, Nicole.  You couldn’t even have him start a Euro-Homo Nouveau Deal “public works” program of building state-run Elitist Madrassahs next to every pre-school?  Throw us a bone.  So, I hope you enjoy being the least of three screaming embarrassments today, because you will never work in this town again.

None of this is “prediction”, exactly, more like utopianism, dreaming of a more perfect world.  People who take this seriously are insensitive to “satire”, “hyperbole”, and various other literary device-related program activities to be specified at an unspecified date.  It’s ironic irony, math proved by 4-way Satire Cube.  There are things which can’t be said, feelings which, if acknowledged, would be deterimental to the movement, and so on.  In situations like this, a little distancing is required in order to say the unsayable, and if this all seems a little fey and ambiguous for such stout and forthright champions of Middle American obviousness, well, that just proves what racists the Obammunists are.  That may or may not be what I really think – after years of pretending to believe the most absurd horseshit, I’m not even sure anymore.


Special American Advisor Johnny Hallyday, aka Miracle Max Back in the Day, aka Last Wednesday:

Those are sideburns you can believe in, my friends.

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