Nous sommes tout Muntadar al-Zaidi.
Judged as a display of alertness and ninja prowess, the President’s dodge is, indeed, impressive. But George W. Bush has spent most of his life fucking things up horribly, and then escaping any consequences for his incompetence and indifference. This is who he is. What you have seen is not a moment of quick thinking, it was the man’s essence. He always escapes unharmed.
Nevertheless, the ACLU, and others, have persisted in calls for the President to be investigated, and perhaps eventually tried, for his crimes. Serious journalists have pointed out that it would be a terrible idea to dig up old business like this, which would certainly “[tear] this nation apart” by cruelly butthurting the delusional 25%ers who still play with Battle Action Bush dolls, and that we should concentrate on important, current, timely matters, such as what some ridiculous hippie the McCain campaign dug up did 40 years ago. Or to conjure dark “clouds” linking Barack Obama – indisputably the most corrupt, scandalous black President in American history – to Rod Blagojevich, on the grounds that he, like SOHNEHO, probably likes the Bears. Admittedly, this makes a nice change from automatically linking him to everything any black person has ever said, but it’s still fucking retarded. The press appears ready to make up for letting Bush get away with 95 months of criminality by holding Obama accountable for any crime committed within a 400 mile radius. Mr. al-Zaidi needs more shoes.
December 15, 2008 at 11:53 pm
[...] [From The Artful Dodger « THE TOOT] [...]
December 16, 2008 at 4:51 am
You liberals simply refuse to accept responsibility for political crimes and corruptions on the flimsy argument that you may not have committed them.
Is that the kind of standard we want in this country? Where people are found not guilty simply because they didn’t do something? Really? Well what about all the people that look like they did something? Or that people figure they did? Are you just going to let them walk too?
You are all a bunch of hypocrites and all you want to do is punish Bush and his supporters because of a few things they may have done, all the while avoiding responsibility for what you have not.
Hmmmf.
December 16, 2008 at 8:01 am
Someone should start a website, maybe called moreshoes.org or something, dedicated to donations of shoes to al Zaidi.
December 16, 2008 at 8:03 am
Can the editors please define the verb “to butthurt”?
December 16, 2008 at 8:53 am
1. BTW Has anyone inquired as to the current health of shoeloess Joe Jackson there? All I heard was screams while Bush stood there like that damn Toby who is ruing Mr. G’s Musicals at Summer Heights High. Stand up and applaud yourself Mr. Bush. We won’t know how history will judge Bush? As a notorious feeb of mythic proportions and as the measure of all subsequent bad leadership worldwide until The Gamma Ray Wars make it to our nebula.
2. The Secret Service let him get another shoe off. Everyone is like, “wha.. someone actually threw something at President Bush, that just doesn’t make any sense, he’s so popular and successful. I don’t know what that was a grenade or something? Hey Charlie remember when that dude threw a grenade at Bush in Poland last year and it didn’t go off? Uhp, their goes another shoe..”
3. You know Obama would catch that shoe and fire it back. I’m just saying he is sooo dreamy.
December 16, 2008 at 9:14 am
dveej – the Rude One has already beat you to the punch, with what is actually a better idea: send those shoes to Bush. Find the gnarliest, smelliest, most worn-out pair of shoes you own, and mail them to the White House. Better yet, walk through some dog shit just before you box them up for mailing.
I’m sending my lawn-mowing shoes – those things are nasty.
December 16, 2008 at 9:46 am
“Battle Action Bush dolls”
AKA BABs AKA Battle Axe Barbie.
The amazing thing is that Poppy Bush’s pecker *wasn’t* completely insane to woo the horrid harridan, for as a young woman, she was rather a babe.
But something happened while they were young and touring Indo-China back when the French ran a nice little riviera there.
She insulted, as American tourists of that time were wont to do, a mysterious gypsy musical bandit and the Curse of the Clamjo was dispensed upon her soon-to-be failing facade.
Or so the legend goes. It is indisputably known, however, that the cause of Dubya’s delicate mentality are the many shoes thrown at Babs by her tempestuous husband while Dubya was in utero.
This was before abortion was legal, understand.
December 16, 2008 at 10:46 am
Odds that Thomas Friedman will use shoes in a horribly constructed-and-then-mangled analogy in tomorrow’s column:
3:1.
You read it here first.
December 16, 2008 at 11:33 am
I’m sending my lawn-mowing shoes – those things are nasty.
Much like mine, I’m sure. Long ago they were very nice, but I wore them to their death and far beyond. These days they probably consist mostly of spider webs on the top and dog shit on the bottom.
But seriously, careful about sending dog shit in the mail. Just look what happened to the once-proud smellypoop.com.
December 16, 2008 at 12:03 pm
send them shoes to the Bush liberry instead!
Shoez Bush/Cheney ‘04!
December 16, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Kleber: man, like Obama would have totally like put out his hand, like ‘Neo’ in the Matrix, ya know? And he woulda said ‘No’ and the shoe woulda just froze there in space and then the air would get like all jelly-like and then the shoe woulda like dropped harmlessly to the floor and shit.
December 16, 2008 at 12:25 pm
‘Bastard son of an infidel dog! You are so NOT The One!’
“…until The Gamma Ray Wars make it to our nebula…”
I saw the preview trailers. Awesome. An entire dead star of honey granola ice cream at 99.9% C, aimed right at the black hole heart of our galaxy, and then WHAM-O! The entire galaxy goes golden Frisbee then cosmic flatline.
Palin plays the tough resourceful lady cap’n who manages to put our solar system in a special wormhole so it can survive.
December 16, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Hey Eds… I depend on you for the latest in Swederock news and information, and you let this slip past. WTF. Over.
December 16, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Oops. Let’s try that again.
Hey Eds… I depend on you for the latest in Swederock news and information, and you let this slip past. WTF. Over.
(I could swear I included that URI the first time I posted this.)
December 16, 2008 at 4:17 pm
You’re the only one who’s made this observation. I’ve read and watched quite a few pundits paint this incident as symbolic of the failed war, or the poor security in Iraq, or the haplessness of Bush’s media makeover. None were completely convincing.
But this nails it.
December 16, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Bush looked on for a while from the corner of the house with a mild surprise on his face as he rubbed his chin, for the trick of the holes in the trees was new to him; then he stole nimbly away through the dreadful wood.
“And did they catch Bush?” you ask me, gentle reader.
“Oh, no, my child” (for such a question is childish). “Nobody ever catches Bush.”
December 16, 2008 at 6:09 pm
[...] The Editors on well, lots of stuff. But all of it is true, and prima facie supporting evidence of my central point. [...]
December 16, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Look bawss! De shoes! de shoes!
December 16, 2008 at 7:47 pm
The Svens
December 17, 2008 at 3:59 am
Obama is all like, *No More!* and the shoe would be teleported, harmlessly, to one of his “safety” dimensions. This is the plan for Blagojevich.
December 17, 2008 at 4:00 am
Being a professional blog comments insult comic troll doesn’t pay what is used to.
December 17, 2008 at 6:46 am
[...] The Editors, the best explanation of Bush’s shoe-dodging I’ve yet seen: Judged as a display of [...]
December 17, 2008 at 8:02 am
Less than zero, huh?
December 17, 2008 at 9:44 am
It would have been uniquely poignant if they’d been ‘fuck me’ stiletto heels.
December 17, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Man… you could just ask him over for tea (laced with rufies) or something, tell us how you really feel…
December 17, 2008 at 6:28 pm
I’m just saying you give me two shoes at that distance. Business footwear, maybe some nice Clark’s, and I will take your fucking head off. I’m just saying.
December 19, 2008 at 7:16 am
You know, listening to that awful smirky voice at the end of the video above saying it would be a heck of a lot easier if this is a dictatorship makes me wonder how the hell could he think it was HARD?? How easy does he need it to be?