~VOTING IS NOW OPEN~
Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
So said Winston Churchill, who was sort of the George W. Bush of 1938. Churchill faced utter annihilation at the hands of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis – sort of like the Barack Obama and the Daily Kos of the early 1940’s – and yet, despite every setback, never wavered in his determination to persevere and triumph. If any two characteristics define our nominees for Chickenhawk of the Year, it is their boundless enthusiasm, and their boundless failure. If I had to name a third, it would be “picked last for kickball”, but that’s not what we are talking about. We are talking about rhetorical courage, the puffed-chest bravado and keyboard-rattling grandiloquence from which true heros are made. Whether they are warning off the Moorish hordes, threatening to start a civil war if they don’t get their way, fearlessly yelling racial slurs from behind a pseudonym on the internet, or steadfastly proclaiming their indominable will to continue blabbing on about all the super-butch things they’d do if only they hadn’t already made plans to play Starcraft, these Warriors of Words are truly our last line of defense against not having to listen to them. Consider: if time ran backwards, Winston Churchill would be quoting them when talking about the true meaning of courage. Quoting them backwards. Think about it.
The Nominees for the 2008 Chickenhawk of the Year:
- Orson Scott Card, “If gays get married, I’m resuming the Civil War“
- Modern Conservative, “SPARTANS!!!!!!“
- Instapunk (feat. Oldpunk), “Only I have the courage to pseudonomously call black people “niggers” on the internet“
- Keith Arnold, “I am John Galt!“
- Ben Shapiro, “Enough of Radical Islam”