~VOTING IS NOW OPEN~
Previous winners:
2005 - Bill O’Reilly, general whininess
2006 - Richard Cohen, “Steven Stephen Colbert isn’t funny, and I know from funny!“
Suffering: is there anyone who knows more about it than conservatives? No, there isn’t, and how insensitive of me to even ask! Scourged by the whips of political correctness; cruelly mocked at fancy cocktail parties by apocryphal liberals who spit chardonnay in their faces and fix them with a thorny Crown of Not Agreeing With Me; and, finally, led away from their just reward to be nailed to a rugged cross of Very Mean Blog Posts with rude nails of Naughty Words – such a Passion would break lesser mortals. But, as the bold Chickenhawk is invincible in battle, the wounded wingnut is unbroken in defeat. Stoically putting down his parasol and hand fan, manfully gathering up his petticoats and bustle, he runs sobbing – and with a quiet dignity - from the shade of the magnolia tree to the drawing room to pen an editorial about how nasty and horrible everybody is and how his small and shell-like ears have never heard such uncouthness and wah wah wah all the fucking way home.
- Jonah Goldberg, “The White Man is the Jew of Liberal Fascism“
- Michelle Malkin, “John McCain won’t return my calls!“
- Michael Gerson, “Al Franken used bad words!“
- The McCain Campaign, “Obama called Sarah Palin a pig!“
- Geraldine Ferraro, “They’re attacking me because I’m white!“
December 23, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Easiest choice yet. Jonah will run away with this one.
December 24, 2008 at 1:52 am
Obviously this will be Jonah in a landslide — and rightly so — but I feel like we should somehow single out Gerry Ferraro for some kind of special honor this year for not merely setting the state of racial discourse in this country back by a decade in one single, eye-stabbingly awful interview, but for doing it in the service of an already-dead vanity campaign, tossing her own not-insignificant historical reputation onto the shitpile in the process. It was a bravura performance, made all the more awesome by the fact that she’s allegedly a progressive.
December 24, 2008 at 1:55 am
Well, there goes my contrarian cred….I hafta say I’m not disappointed with the Academy’s choice here. Gershon epitomized pearl-clutching hypocrisy, but his entry was diluted by his obvious need to remain a viable member of the Village/Serious crowd (Hey, the guy has a mortgage like the rest of us, ya know?). Jonah, however, has no such constraints. He just let the WingNut fly! Finally, someone stands forth to decry the brutal injustice suffered by White/Jewish males in this country. Bout time, I say.
December 24, 2008 at 2:02 am
I second Doctor Memory. She didn’t approach the level of some of the others vying for this honor in sustained effort, but her few outings produced a quality of psychosis I think we can all admire. Also, I will be stealing the phrase “eye-stabbingly awful interview” in many posts in the future, because it was awesome.
December 24, 2008 at 5:53 am
“shell-like ears” – do i detect a Robert Benchley allusion?
December 24, 2008 at 7:46 am
Thanks for putting that link in to the NRO website.
Sometimes I begin to doubt my sanity, and think that I MUST have somehow made up my own pseuodnym.
But, no! Jonah Goldberg actually gets paid to make up this shit which is supposedly unmakeupable.
December 24, 2008 at 8:06 am
This was tough for me. Jonah was the obvious choice — too obvious. And I just can’t bring myself to give Malkin any kind of award. Any recognition she gets is too much.
McCain’s was really a campaign ploy, rather than heartfelt whining. And I’ve got a feeling that Ferraro has been putting up with a lot of bullshit over the years, and it just came out in all the wrong ways.
So I went with Gerson, because (a) I can’t stand when they complain about naughty words, and (b) Gerson just has that Karl Rove/Ken Starr “giant baby” look.
December 24, 2008 at 8:11 am
Love the new voting mode.
December 24, 2008 at 9:33 am
Had to go with Ferraro. Every time she opens her mouth the only thing that comes out is “whah nananna boo boo.” Besides, it’s obvious that Jonah is going to win, as he doubtless should, so I decided to vote my irritation. One expects better of Ferraro.
December 24, 2008 at 10:04 am
It must be Jonah.
December 24, 2008 at 10:29 am
Jonah’s really going to take the cake (ha!) this year, with his almost assured victory in the WotY and now the PTwCPC.
December 24, 2008 at 10:30 am
Ooops, almost forgot to vote for Arnold for CotY.
December 24, 2008 at 10:43 am
Had to go with Gerson, Fred Hiatt’s shame.
Michael Gerson: “a different kind of conservative from the other conservatives on our page. . . . He’s been part of this White House, but I expect he will be an independent voice.”
Right, Fred.
~
December 24, 2008 at 10:43 am
I went Ferarro. She was genuinely shocked at her treatment, while the others are full of shit.
December 24, 2008 at 11:16 am
McCain’s was really a campaign ploy, rather than heartfelt whining
Sure, it was cynical nonsense, but it pushed the bounds of cynical nonsense to such extremes that I felt it deserved recognition. Plus, I knew everyone else would vote for Jonah.
December 24, 2008 at 11:37 am
Gotta go with Ferraro, for giving voice to the unspoken black-people-get-all-the-breaks racism that was such a part of Hillary’s campaign endgame. Bonus points for doing real damage to the candidate she was supporting (she and Carly Fiorina should get some kind of joint award for that, along with Bill Clinton) and for continuing to compound the damage by not shutting up.
Double bonus points to the Clinton campaign for empowering a spokesperson who mostly provoked responses of “wait, she’s still alive?” and “hey, wasn’t she part of the most disastrous Democratic ticket in 35 years?” and “is her husband still in prison?” before getting to the racism.
Wingnuts being wingnuts is one thing. A former VP nominee of the Democratic Party whining about how darkies get all the breaks and doing significant damage to het place in history – that’s something special.
December 24, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I’ll share my perception that this award is losing its focus.
The components of a successful entry will be outraged victimization that is exploited in the service of partisan attacks. The winning entries will display glaring hypocrisy that confirms the author is entirely unaware of their own behavior.
Michelle Malkin complaining about violations of privacy by left wing blogs is a classic. Outrage. Victimization. Partisanship. Oblivious Hypocrisy. But Michelle Malking complaining about the McCain campaign lacks partisanship and hypocrisy and is fairly light on outrage and victimization.
Geraldine Ferraro’s comments are revolting. But her points are reduced because she is essentially defending herself instead of truly reframing her victimization as a partisan attack.
They called Sarah Palin a pig is a strong entry, as is Gerson’s ‘Al Franken used bad words.’
December 24, 2008 at 1:40 pm
The McCain campaign, because not only was it whining, but it was also brazenly bogus. That’s the kind of up-is-downism we can believe in, my friends.
December 24, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Hm. A tough one. But I go with Gerson, since Jonah is already an institution, and Gerson’s offended sensibility is just so darn cute.
December 24, 2008 at 2:29 pm
…and Gerson’s offended sensibility is just so darn cute.
Especially when one considers the prim language for which Bush the Lesser, Dick Cheney, and Karl Rove are noted.
~
December 25, 2008 at 12:50 am
[...] the 2008 Golden Winger Awards for Excellence in Wingnuttery, although he didn’t make it into the final vote. But it should reinforce our national pride to know that our country of 21 million can produce [...]
December 25, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Are straight people the gays of liberal fascism?
Wait, I know the answer to that.
December 25, 2008 at 8:17 pm
The trouble here is that they all deserve the award. Can’t we split it five ways? Or have a tie-breaking whine-off?
December 26, 2008 at 7:25 pm
NO WHINE OFF!!!
That would get all meta and earn points for whining *about* the award.
The Purple Teardrop ain’t beanbag. You gotta EARN yer shame.
December 27, 2008 at 2:19 pm
[...] The Purple Teardrop: All worthy nominees, but the only one that really bubbled it’s way up into mass-media consciousness was the McCain “Pig” Campaign, so that deserves the win. [...]
January 1, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I’m surprised Bertie “Gonzo” Walnuts didn’t get a spot for his whine of being a “victim of the war on terror.”
August 13, 2009 at 12:50 pm
[...] grounds by other allies, it replacing political solidarity within the liberal fraternity with clutching of the pearls. Until recently, this appeared to be the Democratic Party’s strategy, and it’s what [...]