The contest for next year’s Creamy Bailey Nobel Peace Prize was over before it even began. Probably. I equivocate because the flat earth appreciation wing of the GOP is wont to outdo itself. That being said, the prohibitive front runner has to be NFNPSB Noel Sheppard (& Co.) for declaring, yet again, that global warming is a myth and that this thesis gains credibility because of an article published in – get this – Pravda!
Yes, that Pravda. And what type of evidence does the article appearing in Pravda rely on to make its case? Garçon: Lightly seared rhetorical gesticulations with a side of declarative statements resting on a bed of tender circular reasoning greens. Bon apetit!
But there’s more. Noel Sheppard, unlike the benighted masses, is privy to the new shit – the ins, the outs, the what have yous:
For what it’s worth, Accuweather’s Joe Bastardi told Glenn Beck last Tuesday that Russia’s Vladimir Putin may have cut supplies of gas from the Ukraine to Europe because he believes the globe is about to go into a cooling phase, and controlling natural gas will give his country a great deal of added power on that continent.
Maybe Putin was aware of this article about to be published by Pravda?
Maybe. I mean, there are competing theories and all, but none that make as much sense as that weatherman guy talking to Glenn Beck. On the TeeVee. Speaking of which, what’s the deal with the GOP relying on meteorologists for global warming science? It’s like turning to Russel Crowe for his analysis of theoretical mathematics based on a role he played once. On the TeeVee.
In fairness, some might be wondering if this Pravda is the same as the Soviet era Pravda in terms of journalistic bona fides – or if, perhaps, this periodical might have undergone a post-Soviet glorious capitalist revolution that ushered in a new era of magical awesomeness! What would George Bush see if he looked into the New Pravda’s soul and all. The answer from the Pinted One:
…[H]ere are some other Very Important Scientific Stories broken recently by Pravda:
SCIENCE ITEM! France unveils secret images of aliens and their spaceships!
SCIENCE ITEM! Dog gives birth to mutant creature that looks like a human being!
SCIENCE ITEM! Celebration of underwear fashion!
SCIENCE ITEM! Meet Russian Supermodel Natalia Vodianova!
SCIENCE ITEM! Hellish hairy sea monster cast ashore!
Hmmm. But what about the author of this particular piece in Pravda? Maybe he’s a diamond in the tabloidy, kooky, senstationalist, propagandistic rough? Um, not so much:
The author of this piece in Pravda is named Gregory F. Fegel. Do you know what else Mr.Fegel believes? That THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WAS BEHIND 9/11. Go, Wingnuts, GO! GO!
Still, Noel Sheppard isn’t going to let a little tin foil crown get in the way of the laurel wreath he fitted for his head. In fact, and I think you would agree, Fegel’s crackpottery only reinforces Sheppard’s point:
How delicious that an America-hating Truther who contributes to Pravda has a firmer grasp of climatology than Nobel Laureate Al Gore, James Hansen, Gavin Schmidt, and most of the folks at the IPCC.
Now THAT’S entertainment!!!
But then, if you’re willing to declare that Joe Jacob Wurzelbacherschmidt is the greatest living journalist alive ever, why not just go all in.