ITEM:

PARIS HILTON is having a £200,000 diamond-encrusted dashboard made for her pink Bentley. [...]
Paris bought the Bentley in December as a Christmas present to herself.
She had it sprayed pink and the Bentley badge replaced with her own initials. The upholstery, grille and hubcaps are also pink and the car has a tint on the windows to prevent photographs being taken of her inside.
She gushed: “I’ve just always wanted a pink car.
“I think when you’re a little girl and you have the Barbie Corvette you’re always like, ‘Oh, I wish I had a car like this one day.’
“I think it just comes from being a fan of Barbie for so long.”
So, was it the empty plastic head or the absence of a human soul which touchedyou so deeply? Enquiring minds want to know.
ITEM:
He was often a man of malaprops — e.g. “Is our children learning?” — but former President George W. Bush will be getting $150,000 a speech when he hits the hustings later this month.
Bush is charging a six-figure fee, plus private jet transportation or first class for a party of four – when he launches onto the lecture circuit. The former president’s first gig, entitled “A conversation with George W. Bush,” is scheduled for March 17th in Calgary, Alberta.
We got Gretsky. Seems fair. If you can’t get to Canada, you can catch the comedy stylings of Marty Peretz when he opens during the Hell leg of this tour, which will last from Not Soon Enough until Forever.
ITEM:
We learned over the weekend that AIG had, last Friday, distributed more than $160 million in retention payments to members of its Financial Products Subsidiary, the unit of AIG that was principally responsible for the firm’s meltdown. Last October, AIG agreed to my Office’s demand that no payments be made out of its $600 million Financial Products deferred compensation pool. While this was a positive step, we were dismayed to learn after the fact that AIG had made multi-million dollar payments out of its separate Financial Products retention plan on Friday. [...]
As you may know, my Office yesterday subpoenaed AIG for the names of those who received these bonuses, and we plan to do everything necessary to enforce compliance. American taxpayers deserve to know where their money is going, and AIG’s intransigence and desire to obscure who received these payments should not be tolerated. Already my Office has determined that some of these bonuses were staggering in size. For example:
• The top recipient received more than $6.4 million;
• The top seven bonus recipients received more than $4 million each;
• The top ten bonus recipients received a combined $42 million;
• 22 individuals received bonuses of $2 million or more, and combined they received more than $72 million;
• 73 individuals received bonuses of $1 million or more; and
• Eleven of the individuals who received “retention” bonuses of $1 million or more are no longer working at AIG, including one who received $4.6 million;
Again, these payments were all made to individuals in the subsidiary whose performance led to crushing losses and the near failure of AIG. Thus, last week, AIG made more than 73 millionaires in the unit which lost so much money that it brought the firm to its knees, forcing ~ taxpayer bailout. Something is deeply wrong with this outcome. I hope the Committee will address it head on.
Things are tough all over, it would appear, though perhaps some have it tougher than others. Who are we to judge? As Christopher said:
Somehow it’s always reasonable to hurt the poor as a way to make them shape up. Tougher bankruptcy laws, welfare reform, it’s all good social engineering.
But if you talk about hurting the rich to make them reform, it’s terrible. Taking money away from a guy with plenty more to spare is worse then taking money away from a person with none left.
Have I mentioned “fuck them”? Have I? I only ask because fuck them.
March 17, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Find ‘em, fuck ‘em, and flee.
March 17, 2009 at 9:03 pm
So, anyone know a maker of quality guillotines? I’m interested in buying stock. Come to think of it, anyone know a maker of quality stocks? Or tar/feathers?
March 17, 2009 at 9:05 pm
P.S. I do miss Lee Siegel, don’t you?
March 17, 2009 at 9:27 pm
And, oddly enough, Roflmao Cohen is baaaack!
March 17, 2009 at 9:40 pm
fuckity fuck fuck to the motherfuckin fuck
March 17, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Truly the 21st Century has shown us the depths of douchebaggery to which the more monetarily lubricated strata of society will stoop.
A pox on them and their (very big) houses.
March 17, 2009 at 10:40 pm
So, anyone know a maker of quality guillotines?
Here at Bimler Research Laboratories we can offer the crinkle-cut version, with the novelty blade; the three-blade version for the closer cut; and a number of other refinements.
Quality, not so much.
March 17, 2009 at 11:17 pm
March 17, 2009 at 11:39 pm
http://allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:k9fyxqu0ldfe
Great record,
“Haiku D’etat”
I’ve heard the eponymous, but the others aren’t as well regarded.
“An explosive one-off, Haiku D’Etat came to fruition as a result of the teaming up of three of the most gifted West Coast MCs ever to trade tongue-twisting similes and extended metaphors: Mikah 9 and the legendary Aceyalone of the fabled and much lamented Freestyle Fellowship, and Abstract Rude of fellow Angelino mavericks Abstract Tribe Unique. Matching their superior microphone skills to a lush bed of live instrumentation…”
Great album.
March 18, 2009 at 12:02 am
my own personal experience/sour grapes: there are some dark fucking rich scumbags in my business. liars, cheats, thieves, MBAs, scions of wealthy families, wealthy families, christian right wing billionaires, arab sheikhs and their retinues, thugs, russian gangsters…and so on. many of these people succeed because they know that filthy lucre and living large are actually impressive to a bunch of the fucking morons in hollywood. there are people who actually WANT to be in business with paris hilton, for instance. or her business equivalent eli samaha, say. and it would be easy to just say “fuck it” and give in to this or move on from it.
but i think that’s too easy. it is too easy in this life to become angry without form or direction, just pissed about all the bullshit. then there’s
directing that anger into working harder so you can make more money so you can live in a bigger housedirecting that anger into being conscious in all areas of your life–the way you interact with each other and society (be nice to your waiter! learn spanish! share your shit with people! give money when you can to as many places as you can! etc. et alia ad infinitum) so that at the end of the day you aren’t just curled up, whether in the foetal position or with fists of fury.being happy in the face of how fucking horribly our society has been fucked still seems worthwhile to me, is what i’m trying to say. i try to remain positive and upbeat despite what i’ve discovered in pursuing my career, despite dealing with the laundry list above of shitheels. it is what it is. i’m sure each of us here have our own shitinesses around us but KEEP THE FUNNY COMING and try to make it better, right?
right?
right.
March 18, 2009 at 12:06 am
also, kleber–excellent call on haiku e’tat. underrated and totally excellent.
March 18, 2009 at 12:11 am
The guys at AIG getting those bonuses (and their enablers, like that douchebag Andrew Ross Sorkin at the Times, and Charles Calomiris at NPR) may want to consider doing something like this:
Then, people would understand why they deserve to make so much money – they work harder than anyone else, after all, and what if they all decided to Go Galt on us? Who would be capable of doing the same wonderful job they have done destroying so much wealth in so short a time? Hmm? Who? Answer me that.
March 18, 2009 at 12:37 am
I think as a society we mistake luck for talent. Or if a girl is rich, blonde, and sort of pretty she’s qualified to be a celebrity.
Most Americans are wealthy because they were born in the right nation at the right time in history. If you have access to clean drinking water, HDTV, and a house with indoor plumbing, you’re “making it”, compared with the real world.
Wealth is not an indicator of success for me anymore, there isn’t a difference between a trailer park group and a group at the City club, except they have nicer clothes, fake tits, sand blasted faces, they all say the same stupid shit. They just exchange nouns in their gossip. They’re all drunk on scotch and champagne instead of Coors Light, but they’re all still fucking drunks. From the Baseball Stadium to the Board Room, did anyone notice that we are a nation of drunks? I never got to drink for more then two years before I had a medical problem that doesn’t allow me to drink, (I MISS GUINNESS). But from my perspective, hanging out, watching the drinkers. It is some scary practice. I don’t know how y’all do it. Weed is illegal? Really? From my point of view, y’all are backwards. I understand the desire for self-medicating. That’s what it is.
Old money, new money, the rich are just as illiterate, backward, and retarded as the rest of us.
Smart people, are mixed in poor circles, middle-class circles, high-end circles, the smartest, most virtuous people figure out that money doesn’t equal happiness. The source of all human pain and misery is desire, some dude said.
Unfortunately this is no meritocracy.
March 18, 2009 at 12:51 am
One last point, I like when we honor labor in this country. My dad was a construction electician for forty years, he came home covered head to toe in dirt every day, left home at 4:30AM, every day for forty years. He got paid really well because he was in a Union, we had health insurance, he could leave Yonkers and buy a home in California, send three kids to college, and he earned it.
Now a days, people want to make six figures but not work, physical labor is frowned upon as failure. That’s totally fucked up. We all can’t be servicing each other, wee have to build and make things. Teachers, construction workers, engineers, the members of the NAS, these should be the highest paid people in our society. Not bankers, what ever the real housewives of orange county/atlanta/NYC do, not moving paper around, if you come home clean from work, if you don’t break a sweat all day, you need to get paid less. I’ve worked in warehouses in college, as a line cook, and in the corporate world, I’ve worked in every sector and guess where I worked harder for less, guess where? We could have a skill vs. skill debate about marketable assets, I think the laws and perks of the world don’t go to the working people because they are physically working while the highly paid are working on getting paid more for less.
March 18, 2009 at 1:52 am
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=A2ztqoalaqi89&emc=lm&m=660880&l=13&v=919714
For The Hold Steady and Exiles on Mainstreet fans only. This is a really good album, not my cup of tea, but I think a lot of people on this list will like this record.
March 18, 2009 at 4:29 am
The corrupt culture of wealth in this country is out of control. We need a balance.
Guillotines might be a start.
March 18, 2009 at 5:36 am
Evan Bayh, Tom Carber, and Blanche Lincoln need to shut their fucking faces and let Obama do his job with a united Democratic Congress, without a three-party Senate spending freak caucus. Evan Bayh is obviously angling for Majority Leader and he wants to take the party back to the good ol’ GOP-Democrat Light bullshit. You know, sucking corporate cock and bombing brown people. Fucking fucks. Their twenty plus the GOP is the majority, shifting the agenda to the right, back towards wrong. Thanx assholes.
March 18, 2009 at 5:37 am
Tom Carper. Mr. Carber is one of Towelies friends.
March 18, 2009 at 5:47 am
http://betterplace.com
Know about this company?
March 18, 2009 at 7:33 am
Also, let’s not forget, it was Bush and the GOP that repealed the estate tax so that poor little Paris won’t have to forego the diamond encrustation of her pink Bentley’s dashboard.
Also, he vetoed SCHIP because government provided health insurance for poor children is just wrong. Morally.
March 18, 2009 at 8:00 am
i’m involved with this one:
http://www.brandaidproject.com/
direct links from artisans in haiti to shops in the US, with a 50/50 split between creator and importer. we are expanding the concept to the 40 poorest countries in the world.
i’ve been poor as hell, i’ve had a ton of money. not being an asshole in the latter circumstance is a choice. it’s hard. the default setting when you have money is to be an asshole, so it is only in being truly conscious of your INCREDIBLE LUCK to be born in some combination of the right place/time/skin color/class/power that you can overcome that setting. recognition that even if you worked hard to get rich there is probably an underlying factor that assigns you privilege whether you like it or not.
fuck am i prolix today. shut up, me.
March 18, 2009 at 10:46 am
“the car has a tint on the windows to prevent photographs being taken of her inside.”
Because if there’s one thing a pink, diamond-encrusted Bentley with an emblem reading “PH” says, it’s “I don’t want to be seen.”
March 18, 2009 at 11:01 am
Paris Hilton’s tires are overinflated and badly worn. (I suspect there’s a joke to be made there)
March 18, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Oh, I see. At first I thought that was her clitoris.
March 18, 2009 at 12:07 pm
And based on the picture above, I’d say the whole idea of tinting the windows to prevent taking pictures of her was a fail.
March 18, 2009 at 12:16 pm
She is notoriously modest and press shy.
March 18, 2009 at 1:00 pm
How clever, someone is luring Bush across an international border.
heh. We could hope.
March 18, 2009 at 10:23 pm
We, as in the royal we, endorse the winner. Should I say the wiener?
He epitomizes our brainlessness. Or branlessness. Waiyt, I have bran. Cornorola bran. ‘Nother thing…
March 18, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Idiot! U wer hypnotixed by the disratction fr0m reahl. Fool you, examien the eft=dedence. Haha. I win.
March 18, 2009 at 11:56 pm
ITEM:
Bush acknowledged his authoritarian voice. Eh, go see TPM. Too lazy to link.
March 19, 2009 at 1:37 am
“Senate Banking Committe Chairman Christopher Dodd (D-CT) admitted to CNN that he was responsible for the loophole in the economic stimulus package that allowed firms like AIG receiving bailout funds to pay bonuses.
Just yesterday, Dodd denied having anything to do with the provision.
Of course, this news only adds to Dodd’s re-election troubles.”
http://politicalwire.com
Is this guy for real?
March 19, 2009 at 7:56 am
Shouldn’t she just install a Jumbotron-like flashing sign on the car’s roof reading “4 A GUD TIME VANDALIZE THIS”?
And note, it’s just the dashboard that’s valued at 200K pounds. The rest of the car is extra.
March 19, 2009 at 10:10 pm
[...] These bonuses, Dubya’s speaking fees, Paris Hilton’s diamond-encrusted dashboard are rounding errors on the $10+ trillion economic clusterfuck, and poor Paris really didn’t help cause it. The [...]
March 27, 2009 at 5:01 pm
[...] I mentioned “fuck them”? Have I? I only ask because fuck them. Scenes From A Recession « The Poor Man Institute « I wanna see Ira Glass and Joss Whedon fight. With knives. On a [...]