This is what I call bipartisanship:
New York Republican Rep. Peter King thinks his party needs to go nuke if Bush era officials are prosecuted on torture charges.
King, the outspoken ranking member of the House homeland security committee, said Republicans should “shut down [legislative] activity across the board” if any Bush-era officials are hauled into court.
“We would need to have a scorched-earth policy and use procedural means to bring the place to a halt — go to war,” he told POLITICO.
As a great American statesman once said: Bring. It. On. All this tea party stuff is fine, as far as it goes, but if we as a nation are ever going to get past this ‘electing crazy people” problem of ours, we are going to have to work together. Democrats: you need to prosecute Republicans for torturing people. Republicans: you need to start foaming at the mouth and threatening to tear the government down and secede from the union if you aren’t allowed to torture people without consequence. Let’s do this thing.
April 25, 2009 at 5:55 am
Cowardice has been the establishment dems stock and trade, which rethugs have depended on for years. Although… democrats seem to much prefer to attack other democrats than their actual opposition, and given the complicity of many in the democratic caucus to the torture regime (see ‘cowardice’, above) they will probably come to a compromise with the GOP and only prosecute those democratic members of congress who pretty much just powerlessly stood by silently and watched it happen. Oh, and Obama will have to apologize to Dick Cheney for Dick Cheney shooting that old guy in the face.
Hey, politics is all about compromise, people.
April 25, 2009 at 4:10 pm
The problem is that the Democrats are really two or three parties in one, and the GOP is a monolith of wrong. Also, the banks have been the number one contributor to both parties for five cycles, and the NeoLibs and Blue Dogs care mostly about retaining power. Progressives or Liberals, what ever you want to call us, we’re in the minority.
April 25, 2009 at 4:18 pm
We exchanged our position on guns, banking regulation, and bombing brown people in exchange for winning elections and gaining the majority. Sleep tight.
April 25, 2009 at 7:57 am
fookin ‘ell
April 25, 2009 at 8:23 am
Shorter Peter King: We need to destroy the country in order to save it.
April 25, 2009 at 10:29 pm
On the other hand, Texan secession would mean no more presidents from Texas.
April 25, 2009 at 8:26 am
Republicans: you need to start foaming at the mouth and threatening to tear the government down and secede from the union if you aren’t allowed to torture people without consequence.
We’re way ahead of you. But we thank you for your support!
April 25, 2009 at 8:27 am
Democrats: you need to prosecute Republicans for torturing people.
We’re sorry, Mr. Poor Man, we just can’t do that right now. It will make David Broder cry.
April 25, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Huzzah!
April 25, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Both parties look identical! Can it be true that the cogs all come in on little duck feet? GASP!
May 2, 2009 at 4:57 am
Yes, if you are an utter retard, both parties look identical!
If you are among those of us with the capacity to add 1 + 1 and come up with the resulting equality of 2, well, then you probably are able to see the causal links between Republican ideology and policy choices and catastrophic failure.
Democrats are not perfect. There are times when they protect the interests of corporations before citizens and the greater good, and times when they are weak in fighting back against Republican stupidity. However, only someone blindingly stupid would say they are as bad as the rancid garbage that is the Republican party.
April 25, 2009 at 2:37 pm
If you don’t do exactly what the Republicans demand, they threaten to fill their pants with stinkies.
April 25, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Brung it. Reconcilliation by 10/15 on Health Care, boitches. kakakakow.
I hope the GOP tries something.
Comments, within comments, within comments. When’s it gonna change?
April 25, 2009 at 4:01 pm
If the Bills pass on Beanie Wells I’m going to cry.
April 25, 2009 at 4:05 pm
I could live with Eric Wood and Aaron Maybin. I guess.
April 25, 2009 at 4:15 pm
“A new DailyKos/Research 2000 poll finds that 48% of Texas Republicans think their state should be an independent nation while 48% think it should remain part of the United States.
Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) raised the idea of secession at a recent tax protest.
Among all Texans, 61% want their state to remain part of the Union while 35% prefer an independent nation.”
Hilarious.
April 25, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Perhaps 61% of Texans could kick the other 48% to the fucking curb.
April 25, 2009 at 5:27 pm
109% is a lot of Texans.
April 25, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Democrats: you need to prosecute Republicans for torturing people. Republicans: you need to start foaming at the mouth and threatening to tear the government down and secede from the union if you aren’t allowed to torture people without consequence. Let’s do this thing.
Yes, let’s. I humbly suggest that the next time the teabaggers roll out one of their kabuki pity party productions, we respond with overwhelming numbers demanding ACCOUNTABILITY and JUSTICE and UPHOLDING THE RULE OF LAW. It’s 2-for-1 pwnage: if enough of us turn out, it makes it that much harder to sweep this under the rug as “prosecuting policy differences” and it also drowns out and renders more ridiculous yet the puny band of teabaggers, who will mutter in dark asides about the nefarious plots of the Dark Lord Obama while loudly proclaiming the essential-to-democracy-itself concept of “looking the other way” from crimes that everyone knows were committed. How ridiculous their conspiracies and fears stand out against the backdrop of their support for establishing a precedent of allowing government to torture without reprisal! What’s the worry about “big government” intruding on your life, if you’ve no complaint against ultimate abuses of the government now? Wetting your pants with fear that a jihadist might decide to nuke your rural community, but blase complacence that you’ve given the government assent to torture, detain without charges or trial, etc, whenever government decides “it’s for the best”?
If ever there was a bigger threat to our safety and security than allowing torture to go unremarked, unprosecuted, unpunished, I don’t know what the hell it could have been. And I apologize for intruding on a humor blog with a serious rant, but dammit, this is important. I’m ranting this all over the place, and sometime this week, I’ll endeavor to get off my lazy ass and set up a blog to start organizing it. If others are committed to it as well, anyway.
April 27, 2009 at 3:32 am
Jennifer,
Well said. We were all so entertained by the ridiculousness of the tea parties that we didn’t act quickly to launch contrasting protests. Next time. But in the future, may I suggest, we should refer to teabagger “bukaki” pity parties.
April 25, 2009 at 8:33 pm
109% of all Texans must include a portion of Mexico — or more likely Oklahoma.
April 27, 2009 at 1:31 am
It’s just really big.
April 25, 2009 at 8:36 pm
I think I’m coming down with the swine flu. Just a touch. The walking swine flu.
April 26, 2009 at 12:44 pm
avatar test.
April 26, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Squinting, fanged, aghast, blue cube standing aback.
Ready for the attack.
Yeah,
That’s me.
Look out!!
BOO! ! !
.
April 26, 2009 at 1:14 pm
BTW, Not even 200 years ago, it was the white guys in Texas that were the illegal aliens.
April 26, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Confusing new comment system is confusing.
April 26, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Lordy, I’d love it if this became the normal thing for an incoming administration to do, we’d be that much closer to the Banana Brand Republicanism that I and the Democrats really want! I love it this is the new tradition and change that we are hoping for, can’t wait to see what the next Republican administration does with this shiny new tool… Do democrats ever think about the consequences of their actions? Or are you all just glorified juvenile (delinquents on mortage payments?)
http://kalorin.com/stuff/thoughts/juvenile_delinquents.html
April 26, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Shorter Republicans: Of course we will investigate and prosecute Obama for war crimes once we return to power, but, until then, fuck you!
April 26, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Yes, go to war. This is a war I can get behind.
April 26, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Right on. No war but the class war!
April 26, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Does it go without saying that the Republicans would have commenced impeachment proceedings against Obama by now if they had control of the House?
April 27, 2009 at 1:36 am
Neil,
Unstable condition:
A symptom of life
In mental,and environmental change
Atmospheric disturbance–The feverish flux Of human interface
And interchange
The impulse is pure–
Sometimes our circuits get shorted,
By external interference
Signals get crossed–
And the balance distorted
By internal incoherence
A tired mind become a shape-shifter
Everybody need a mood lifter
Everybody need reverse polarity
Everybody got mixed feelings
About the function and the form
Everybody got to deviate
From the norm
An ounce of perception,
A pound of obscure.
Process information at half speed.
Pause, rewind, replay,
Worn memory chip,
Random sample, hold the one you need.
Leave out the fiction–
The fact is;
This friction
Will only be worn by persistence
Leave out conditions–
Courageous convictions
Will drag the dream into existence
A tired mind become a shape-shifter
Everybody need a soft filter
Everybody need reverse polarity
Everybody got mixed feelings
About the function and the form
Everybody got to elevate
From the norm
Now you!
April 27, 2009 at 1:44 am
OK then, drop curtain, we clear the set, and boom next number,
Here we go, I’m hanging out in Camden
Drinking with my girlfriends on a Saturday night
This guy says, “come and meet my girlfriend”
She’s sitting in the corner looking rather uptight
So I say “hello” and I try to be nice
But I see he’s feeling itchy
Trying to play us off each other,
“Girls, girls, please don’t fight” (you get the picture)
Hey you, the muscles and the long hair
Telling me that women are superior to men
Most guys just don’t appreciate this
You’re just convincing me you’re better than them
So he talks for hours about his sensitive soul
And his favorite subject is sex
I don’t think he even wanted it
But, Christ this guy’s too much (I wanna tell him)
I’m as human as the next girl,
I like a bit of flattery
But I don’t need your practised lines, your school of charm mentality so
Save your breath for someone else and credit me with something more
When it comes to men like you,
I know the score,
I’ve heard it all before
(Here comes the next one)
Blondie was with me for a summer
He flirted like a maniac but I wouldn’t bite
I’m weak and he was so persistent
He only had to have me ’cause I put up a fight
Oh God, the boy had such an ego
He liked to talk about himself all day and all night
You think you’re such a ladykiller
But you were nothing special ’til you turned out the light
When he’s nice to me he’s just nice to himself
And he’s watching his reflection
I’m a five foot mirror for adoring himself
Here’s seven years bad luck (I wanna tell him)
When you say you love me you’re just flattering your vanity
But I don’t need your practised lines or, your school-boy charm mentality so
Save your breath for someone else and credit me with something more
When it comes to men like you,
I know the score,
I’ve heard it all before
Ooh, you’re such a ladykiller, always on a winner, thinking that you’re in there
Oh boy, you’re such a ladykiller, super sexy mister, call it what you will, oh
You think you’re such a lady killer, I just bet you’re still there, posing in the mirror
Hey girls, he’s such a ladykiller, but we know where he’s coming from and we know the score.
Scene.
What size dress does Geddy wear? I know Alex is fond of pinafores.
April 27, 2009 at 1:45 am
Hold Your Fire The Musical is coming right along.
April 27, 2009 at 6:57 am
Er, remember back in 2000 when the (GOP-dominated) FL legislature said that if the votes were counted and Gore won, they’d refuse to certify a slate of Dem electors, but would certify a Republican slate instead?
And after that, this surprises you?
Here’s the deal: there’s a vocal faction of Republicans who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about democracy. They cannot really accept electoral defeat. They probably won’t foment outright revolution, but they’re radical enough that they’ll rabidly push for anything they can claim with even vague plausibility.
These are dangerous people, and this is a dangerous situation.
April 27, 2009 at 8:16 am
Let’s do this. Let’s have this fight.
Do the tighty-righties really want to carry water for torture? Not just torturers, but TORTURE?
Really?
Okay then. Here we go.
We don’t need Obama. It’s actually better if he’s not involved.
Rule of Law, Mofos. Personal responsibility. Love of country.
Time for the left to protect our country and its laws.
April 27, 2009 at 9:56 am
http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/news/flaming-lips-song-gets-oklahoma-honor-despite-1003966611.story
April 27, 2009 at 10:21 am
Speaking of swine flu, check out some of the right-wing prescriptions for combating the flu.
April 27, 2009 at 12:29 pm
i like what the rude one said about all this last week:
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2009/04/pardon-them-proposition-with-many.html
in short, it’s better to offer conditional pardons to everyone possibly involved, then prosecute anyone that declined the pardon — accepting the pardon admits some level of guilt and so provides a good excuse for foreign and international courts to charge; denying the pardon leaves one open to investigation and prosecution at home AND abroad. also, it goes a long way to “reaching across the aisle” and healing wounds.
word
April 27, 2009 at 3:20 pm
I thought we already gave Texas the right to torture. It’s called the Southern Baptist Convention. Sure it *started* in Georgia but everyone knows Texas owns it now.
“A HREF=”http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bd/Southern-baptist-convention.svg/200px-Southern-baptist-convention.svg.png”>Is Scary Image