The blogofascists have infiltrated FOX News:
It’s moments like this when Richard Cohen should pop out and squirt a giant selzer bottle down his polka-dot clown pants. Anything to diffuse the tension, you know. Yes, the US government tortured the shit out of x many foreigners, sometimes to death. Yes, some people (who may well be riding the “write a book” train to Fame & Fortune Station – do the math) may have a problem with that. All that may be so. May. But, consider: what did you have for breakfast on this day 7 years ago? You don’t even know that for sure. Maybe we all live in the Matrix and are really just giant batteries for virtal karate robot squids. Unless you’ve seen a virtal karate robot squid buying a pack of Duracells, you can’t disprove it, so maybe you should spend a little less time acting so sure of yourself and a little more time taking pills from strange people at creepy industrial clubs. The point is: it’s all speculation, all of it – nothing but he said, she said, he went on vacation and didn’t read his daily breifings, he attached electrodes to his nutsack, etc. All we know is that there is a range of opinions, and everybody was trying their best under the circumstances. There’s certainly no need for gutter language.
Doesn’t Al Gore have some facial hair we could talk about?
April 27, 2009 at 1:24 pm
If Shep Smith were a sixties pop music impresario, his office would be in the Shrill Building.
April 27, 2009 at 1:41 pm
And if Shep wanted to rock the wet look, he’d use Shrill cream.
And if he wanted a frozen treat, he’d have a Shrilly Bar.
April 27, 2009 at 1:45 pm
If he was coaching the Minnesota Vikings, he would be named Brad Shrilldress.
If he was riding around in a classic luxury car, it would be a 1972 Cadillac Coupe de Shrille.
April 27, 2009 at 2:02 pm
He went to a liberal arts college: Shrilliam and Mary.
April 27, 2009 at 2:11 pm
He cooks his traitorous meat on the barbeque shrill.
April 27, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Take a shrill pill, Shep, or you’ll wind up at MSNBC.
April 27, 2009 at 2:27 pm
If he was watching a DVD it would be Shrill Bill.
If he was at a deli, the sammich would come with a shrill pickle.
April 27, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Shrill Bill
I loved that movie. Especially when Uma went on that shrilling spree.
April 27, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I am a virtal karate robot squid but that doesn’t make me just another FOX News product placement shrill for human beings a giant batteries.
I just ayttach tha ‘trodes, mon; some other dude he push tha bowton.
April 27, 2009 at 3:25 pm
If Shep’s has kid’s, they are messing up his house with Shrilly Putty and Shrilly String
He thinks Teddy Roosevelt led the Rough Riders up San Juan Shrill
If he watches a masterpiece of cinema and fascist propaganda, it’s Triumph of the Shrill
April 27, 2009 at 3:46 pm
If he were hiking up an incline or a mountain, he’d be climbing a steep shrill
April 28, 2009 at 1:21 pm
To Mary TSR (and all the other names you are posting under here:Ronda, Terri, Rosemary, Florence, Sarah, Nancy, and more)-
Why are you still posting under other people’s names? You were already outed as a psycho on this comment thread:
http://blog.shankbone.org/2009/03/24/shepard-smith-told-me-he-is-gay-so-why-are-you-still-at-fox-news/
Has it occurred to you that you need psychiatric treatment?
April 28, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Sue, chill out & shrill out hon, everyone’s having a little fun here. Try & relax, join in and feel the love. Take a shrill pill and stop posting angry vengeful things all over the net.
April 27, 2009 at 3:48 pm
I heard he doesn’t much like Shrillary Clinton.
April 27, 2009 at 3:50 pm
When he goes to the gas station, he says, “Shrill er up”
April 27, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Did you all know he makes 8 shrillion dollars a year?
April 27, 2009 at 3:54 pm
He was a witness at the execution of the serial shriller Timothy McVey
April 27, 2009 at 3:57 pm
If he was a fish, he’d have scaley shrill gills
April 27, 2009 at 4:17 pm
He found his Shrill on Blueberry Hill.
April 27, 2009 at 4:26 pm
If there were a sitcom he enjoyed which ran on NBC from 1998 to 2006, with a handsome dark-haired gay lawyer, his adorable straight Jewish female interior designer roommate and their zany circle of friends, it would be entitled Shrill and Grace
April 27, 2009 at 4:29 pm
If Shep was a Time columnist, he’d be Paul Krugman…
April 27, 2009 at 4:29 pm
er, Times
April 27, 2009 at 4:53 pm
doesn’t he have that swine flu shrillness illness?
April 27, 2009 at 4:57 pm
He likes Shrilly Chile but it gives him really bad gas
April 27, 2009 at 5:11 pm
If he was a whale, he’d eat tons of shrill.
But that’s just a hard shrill to swallow.
Anyway, I thought he was the shrillznit.
April 27, 2009 at 5:27 pm
He looks like that horror flick creature GodShrilla
April 27, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Hi favorite flavor ice cream is Shrinilla
April 27, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Ugh, I don’t blame Smith one bit. That host was the most annoying “some would say” piece of equivocating Broderesque horseshit I’ve ever seen. Even if I weren’t opposed to torture, I’d have sworn at him just on general principles.
Oh, and I won’t submit a pun. Pun threads are the dull.
April 27, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Last Valentines day he gazed into my eyes and said “Shrill you be mine”??
April 27, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Al Gore is FAT.
Michael Moore is FAT.
Shephard Smith is GHEY.
April 27, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Nom de Plume, you are a shrill buzz kill.
April 27, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Nom is a member of the Shrill Kill Kult.
April 27, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Few people know it, but when Shep goes home at night he likes to shrill out with a big fat hogleg doobie.
April 27, 2009 at 5:44 pm
After he smokes the doobie, he wards off the cotton mouth by shrilling down a few PBRs.
April 27, 2009 at 6:05 pm
After pounding on the table, Smith should have challenged his opponents to a fist fight in the Philippines, and promote the bout as the “Shrilla in Manila”.
April 27, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Uh… I know exactly what I had for breakfast 7 years ago today: coffee. Same as every other day.
Just sayin’.
April 27, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Uh… I know exactly what I had for breakfast 7 years ago today: coffee. Same as every other day.
Just sayin’.
April 27, 2009 at 6:25 pm
Yikes, the double-posting prevention thing apparently died.
April 27, 2009 at 6:32 pm
The double-posting prevention thing did not die. It was shrilled. Like Booth shrilled Lincoln and Oswald shrilled Kennedy. Like I am shrilling this thread.
April 27, 2009 at 6:44 pm
EssJay,
you’re a natural born shriller.
April 27, 2009 at 6:49 pm
We may slice up their dicks like bloomin’ onions, we may pulpify their knees, we may fuck their asses with produce, we may drown them for breakfast, lunch and dinner, we may just fucking beat their brains out, but we do not fucking cocksucking cuntlapping motherfucking shitsucking fucking cucking torture cok tuk puk buk.
April 27, 2009 at 7:33 pm
You know, at first, I was swayed by the moral force of your argument against torture. But then you used potty mouth words, so you lost me.
For, you see, I am a Serious Conservative™ with Beltway Cred®.
Torture doesn’t offend me in the slightest, but the dastardly F-word does.
April 27, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I would rather get water boarded than fucked.
April 27, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Smith loves the 1959 hit song “Dedicated to the One I Love” because it was sung by <a hre=”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shirelles”The Shrillelles.
April 27, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Fukn html
April 27, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Shep was there when Benjamin Franklin signed the declaration of Independance with a Shrill Quill Pen, and he once visited Thomas Jefferson at Monteshrillo,
April 27, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Micheal Jackson had a hit with his song about Shep called Shriller
April 27, 2009 at 8:01 pm
I think Shep and his potty mouth should be banned from the airwaves. Shrildren all over the world watch and admire him. He is the idol of many young shrildren and he has corrupted them. He is a disgrace.
April 27, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Has Shep’s Shrill of Victory turned into the Agony of Defeat?
April 27, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Nom de Prune.
April 27, 2009 at 11:17 pm
i hooked up with Shep in Shrilladelphia for a tea party
April 27, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Shep gave me a boquet of flowers, shrillies of the valley & carnations
April 27, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Didn’t Prez Nixon have a dog named Shrillie Millie? Or maybe that was Regan, I can’t keep them fuckin pres dogs straight. Bo Obama is a allergan free Portugese waterboard dog.
April 28, 2009 at 5:56 am
Somebody needs to oil the avatar generator.
April 28, 2009 at 11:29 am
Shep’s favorite movie is the uncut version of Terry Gilliam’s Brazshrill.
April 28, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Wouldn’t that be Terry Shrilliam’s Brazshrill?
April 28, 2009 at 11:30 am
As a college student, Shep wrote an honors thesis on the conflict between determinism and free shrill.
April 28, 2009 at 11:32 am
When Shep was a child, his favorite nursery rhyme was Jack and Shrill. It goes like this:
Jack and Shrill
went up the shrill
to SHRILL.
April 28, 2009 at 11:33 am
Shep’s motto: don’t cry over shrilled milk.
April 28, 2009 at 11:35 am
We shouldn’t ride so hard on Shep. After all, his ancestors fought in the Battle of Bunker Shrill.
April 28, 2009 at 1:35 pm
It would give me a shrill thrill to ride hard on Shep!
April 28, 2009 at 5:36 pm
That’s Breed’s Shrill.
April 28, 2009 at 11:37 am
And anyway, I have a reliable anonymous source who tells me that mental shrillness runs in Shep’s family.
April 28, 2009 at 11:38 am
Fo’shrillzle my nizzle, birth control shrill, everyone should draw up a living shrill.
There, now all the low-hanging fruit is gone.
April 28, 2009 at 12:06 pm
A lot of these comments have actually been posted by the same person who enjoys posing as various people and talking to herself as those people. The “Ronda Murphy” there is an impostor.
April 28, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Someone doesn’t know about gravatars!
April 28, 2009 at 5:13 pm
What do you mean?
April 28, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Oh, I do know about them!
April 28, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Terri in Temecula says: Violet, why does your post have a picture of Ronda S. Murphy by it? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL. You are such a weeping Shrillow Willow, stop crying into your shrillow pillow. This blog is about Shep, not about you.
April 28, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Well, Nicki, Nancy, Sarah, Terri, Florence, Ronda, Cotton Candy, Melody, Mary TSR, Mary TSR-LST, Abby, Rosemary, and whoever else you are on here….if you’re going to use my name, what do I get to use? I figured “Violet” was the next best thing.
Are you trying to hurt me somehow? Because at this point, all you do is painfully bore me and annoy the few fans out there that have been spectators to all of this nonsense from you. Just e-mail so we can put this to rest once and for all. I’d sure like to know what I’ve done to deserve having my name abused like this. If it’s about that old Shep fan board… I don’t even talk with those people anymore. Leave me out of your grudge over it, please!
April 28, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Huh? This is all about having some fun with rhyming. I think Violet is a cute name for you :). You can call me Lill, after all, it rhymes with Shrill.
April 28, 2009 at 1:16 pm
When Shep was in the war, he got hit in the leg with Shrapshrill and got gangreen
April 28, 2009 at 1:27 pm
When Shep was a kid everyone teased him because they knew he was the Shrillage-Village Idiot.
April 28, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Hey everyone, I host a website called ShepardShrill
April 28, 2009 at 1:33 pm
When Shep is home alone, he dresses up in shrilly frilly pink dresses and ladies underwear.
April 28, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Shep is so cheap, when he bought a car he got the no-shrills strip down model.
April 28, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Shep is concerned about dying young because he’s a smoker, so he had his last Shrill & Testament drawn up. He’s leaving all his money to the Shrillup Morris company.
April 29, 2009 at 9:20 am
Shep’s favorite TV show is the Beverly Shrilbillies
April 29, 2009 at 11:20 am
Shep’s favorite song is “Shrilling me Softly” by Roberta Flack
April 29, 2009 at 11:21 am
His favorite book is To Shrill A Mockingbird
May 1, 2009 at 12:21 am
His favorite James Bond movie is Licence to Shrill
May 3, 2009 at 9:10 am
What grade are you guys in?