Miggity Miggity Michael Steele Y’all:
RNC Chairman Michael Steele addressed the National Rifle Association’s “Celebration of American Values” in Phoenix today, leveling some harsh rhetoric against President Obama: That Obama could end up appointing left-wing ideological Justices to the Supreme Court — and Dems want to away Americans’ guns while moving Al Qaeda terrorists to our neighborhoods!
“It is ironic, to say the least, that at the same time Democrats in Congress are threatening to deny Americans their second amendment right to own a firearm and defend their families and homes,” Steele said, “they are considering bringing terrorists like 9-11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed and other Al Qaeda detainees to our communities once the President follows through on his campaign promise to close Guantanamo Bay.”
Meh. Needs more stuff about Jews. Work on it.
So this is it, then, is it? They’re going to move Osama in next door to you. Every last one of you, everywhere. It’s very complicated, involving things like timeshares and wormholes and stem cells, but it’s happening, believe me. And when it doesn’t happen, we’ll have thought up something even dumber to tell you rubes, believe me. Maybe next time the Democrats will be grafting al Qaeda heads onto spider bodies and putting them in your baby’s crib. A winning message for 2012.
May 16, 2009 at 4:19 pm
“
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I did not know that. So lemme ask a couple of questions. Who? When?
May 16, 2009 at 5:16 pm
He’s our best asset. I hope he’s on TV every day. “The Michael Steele-Dick Cheney-Sarah Palin Comedy Music Variety Six Hours” would be the best show ever.
Obama wants Muscle March in every classroom, we should just remove the math or writing curriculum and replace it with Muscle March.
May 16, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Like Chris Rock says: I ain’t afraid of Al Qaeda; I’m afraid of Al Cracker.
May 16, 2009 at 5:19 pm
“RNC Chairman Michael Steele said that Republicans “can reach a broader base by recasting gay marriage as an issue that could dent pocketbooks as small businesses spend more on health care and other benefits,” the AP reports.
Said Steele: “Now all of a sudden I’ve got someone who wasn’t a spouse before, that I had no responsibility for, who is now getting claimed as a spouse that I now have financial responsibility for. So how do I pay for that? Who pays for that? You just cost me money.”
Steele faces off with DNC Chairman Tim Kaine tomorrow on Meet the Press.”
Nice,
Steele stays, Huntsman goes,
“Keep your friends close and your enemies in China.”
– GOP strategist Mark McKinnon, quoted by Politico, on the appointment of Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman (R) to be ambassador to China.
Beautiful.
May 16, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Speaking of awesome (and completely off-topic)…
http://www.wolframalpha.com/
Christmas for nerds!
May 16, 2009 at 6:38 pm
The NRA bedwetters are scared silly by a bunch of shackled terra-ists.
The irony.
And a black guy talking to the whiny white guys.
About the constitution.
Freakin’ awesome.
May 16, 2009 at 7:18 pm
That looks like the funnest game ever. Where do I get a copy?
May 16, 2009 at 9:14 pm
In far decades hence, the symmetrical polish of post-Eisenhower Republican idiocy will be the marvel of many books.
Titles:
They Really Believed That Shit
One Size Fits None
Even A Stopped Clock Is Right Twice A Century
May 16, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Muscle March: I remember when one had to take *serious* drugs to see shit like that. You kids nowadays wouldn’t know nothing about smoking a 13-gram joint smoked in DMT.
Nowadays you just push a button and see crazy crazy shit.
We had to kill half a zillion brain cells just to hallucinate John Travolta in a pink speedo.
It’s enough to make a guy vote Republican…oh. That’s right. They’re agin good drugs. Sheeyit.
May 16, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Gotta be the dumbest looking Nerdy White Guy with Curiously dark Skin I ever Seen
May 16, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I’m askeert of that polar bear in the gold Speedo. I’d rather have the Osama-spider next door.
May 16, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Muscle March is a documentary and the events portrayed within happened in real time.
May 17, 2009 at 12:36 am
Winner.
May 17, 2009 at 2:03 am
Steele: It’s kind a freak show thing. It’s got the body of a spider but it’s actually Osama bin Laden.
America: How is it Osama bin Laden, does it have a turban on it or something?
Steele: No.
America: Does it have the head of Osama bin Laden?
Steele: No.
America: Well, if it looks like a spider, and it doesn’t ululate Koranic verses or anything, how do you know it’s actually Osama bin Laden?
Steele: They keep it in THE HOUSE RIGHT NEXT TO YOURS AND THEY’VE TAKEN YOUR GUNS AWAY!!! ZOMFG!!!!!1!111 AIYEE!!!!11!!!!!!!!11!!11!!!
May 17, 2009 at 2:28 am
Michael Steele = Bizarro Obama.
May 17, 2009 at 8:20 am
Kleber: We can only hope that the show has the wonderful production values of a typical Sid and Marty Krofft Saturday morning videoganza.
May 17, 2009 at 12:08 pm
they are considering bringing terrorists like 9-11 mastermind Khalid Sheik Mohammed and other Al Qaeda detainees to our communities
Poor Michael Steele. He’s internalized his party’s claim (that more black people are in prison because they’re inherently more criminal in nature than white folks) to the point where he actually mistakes prisons for “communities.”
May 17, 2009 at 12:27 pm
“Maybe next time the Democrats will be grafting al Qaeda heads onto spider bodies and putting them in your baby’s crib. A winning message for 2012.”
The only way this sentence could be better is if it were spoken by a shark. Did you break your camera or what?
May 17, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Hello. May your throat spew viscous sticky life as it gapes beneath my flashing blade. As Executive Satrap of your homeowner’s association, I am obliged to remind you, in accordance with new rules enacted May 2, 2009 at a special HOA session, that we are assessing each homeowner a one-time fee of $3,714.80 to defray certain deferred maintenance costs requiring nitrogen fertilizer, fuel oil and hex bolts. We are also constituting a number of volunteer community-improvement committees: perhaps some of you soccer moms could lend us a hand with your capacious mini-vans! (Please note: to maintain our property values, HOA rules require that women be veiled.)
May 17, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Maybe next time the Democrats will be grafting al Qaeda heads onto spider bodies and putting them in your baby’s crib. A winning message for 2012.
Much-needed laughter to the point of tears, to keep from real tears at the idiocy of manly man Jim Webb pre-emptively cringing at this shit:
May 19, 2009 at 3:56 pm
What does a guy google do find all this stupid shit?
May 19, 2009 at 3:59 pm
“ululate Koranic verses”
I love this phrase.
It’s way better than “rap Buddhist mantras” or “mumble anti-Americanisms”.
May 22, 2009 at 10:31 am
[...] May 22, 2009 Nobody Ever Went Broke Underestimating the Stupidity of the American People Congress Posted by The Editors under Uncategorized No Comments 90-6. Ugh. Michael Steele is retarded, all right - retarded like a fox. [...]