Except, you know, her name isn’t actually Maria. But she does have Puerto Rican roots (which, by birthright, gives her a certain common demeanor) so same thing.
Wonder how that whole GOP Hispanic outreach thingy is going? Maybe they should hold the next event at Taco Bell, cause isn’t that what those people eat?
Update: Karl Rove is a super evil genius mastermind wizard with an 18 intelligence and 19 wisdom and this Hispanic outreach plan is so going to work:
Not surprisingly, Obama appears to be focusing demographics and not judicial factors. Obama isn’t looking for a liberal Scalia. He looking for a spic chic. Enter Sonia Sotomayor….
Bonus points for the sexist/racist twofer rhyme. Loses points for spelling and grammar.
Update II: Blog post title copyright infringement, or evidence that lazy minds think alike.
May 26, 2009 at 10:37 am
A “spic ‘sheeek’”? Oy Weh! Seeing as how ‘chick’ is derived from ‘chiquita/chica’, whatever, maybe it really is spelled ‘chiq’
May 26, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Seeing as how ‘chick’ is derived from ‘chiquita/chica’
Is it?
May 26, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Spic is perhaps the most brilliant verbal epithet. It sounds like spitting in someone’s face. It is even more brilliantly offensive than ‘gook’.
I want a racial slur that combines these two with some good old Hebrew phlegm.
Like: spigoochsksche.
In your BEARD, Republican outreacher! Oh, I forgot: only terrorists and liberals dare grow beards. because they can. They must. If wingnuts realized how good long straggly beards are at removing Cheeto dust from their chest toupees…
I will now invoke a new (to me, anyway) facet of Godwin’s Law:
Today’s Republicans seem a lot like the Nazis of 1946. Not real popular.
What a bout them Ash Can Nazis? They’re much whiter than those SuFartic Jews, eh?
May 26, 2009 at 7:25 pm
May 28, 2009 at 5:16 am
How could I have forgotten ‘kike’? I grew up in Albany Park, Chicago, back when it was still Chicago’s northside Schwarzenburg.
You know, ‘Newt Gingrich’ is, they tell me, the fella’s actual name. I’m thinking his parents didn’t much like the little fucker?
Gingrich. Kinda rolls off the back of the throat, don’it?
May 26, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I fucking hate Maria Sotomayor, but I love Sonia. Except for this,
“In Center for Reproductive Law and Policy v. Bush,[44] Sotomayor upheld the Bush administration’s implementation of the Mexico City Policy which requires foreign organizations receiving U.S. funds to “neither perform nor actively promote abortion as a method of family planning in other nations”. Sotomayor held that the policy did not constitute a violation of equal protection, as the government “is free to favor the anti-abortion position over the pro-choice position, and can do so with public funds”.[45]”
wikipedia
what the funk? Someone’s trying to get confirmed to the Supreme Court.
May 26, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Also, did Karl Rove just call someone a spic? I feel like Miguel Cotto might burst out of a closet and work Karl’s body.
May 26, 2009 at 2:04 pm
OK, David L. called Judge Sotomayor a spic. Your article makes it sound like Rove said it. I’m only telling you because I love you.
May 26, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Your article makes it sound like Rove said it.
Any confusion is at least acceptable if not intentional.
May 26, 2009 at 2:08 pm
OK, just checking, it’s your roll out.
May 26, 2009 at 2:48 pm
“But she does have Puerto Rican roots …”
So what? I’ve been letting my gray roots grow out for about a year now. It’s no big deal.
May 26, 2009 at 2:59 pm
You should see the c-span video of Michael Steele talking to a room of african-american students in Woodson High School in D.C. this week. It’s bizarre. He says that the GOP needs to use more twitter. That’s really the only problem, not the philosphy.
May 26, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Perhaps he thinks Twitter is a brand of personal lubricant.
May 26, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Next up: them Sotomayors sure can jump!
May 26, 2009 at 3:02 pm
He says that the GOP needs to use more twitter. That’s really the only problem, not the philosphy.
Now that’s some fancy reachin’ out!
May 26, 2009 at 3:04 pm
http://studentsandleaders.org/michael_steele.html
This talk should be called, “no we can’t”,He tells them that they won’t automatically get jobs, groceries, or loans just because there’s a black President. Really? No shit? He bitches about the RNC voting process, like it doesn’t always go six ballots.
Ron Paul tells the kids some nutty shit as well.
May 26, 2009 at 3:08 pm
http://studentsandleaders.org/erica_williams.html
Awesome.
May 28, 2009 at 10:05 am
This Erica Williams… how shall I out this… delicately? She is so NOT a spic chic. But maybe her middle name is Maria?
May 26, 2009 at 3:16 pm
This talk should be called, “no we can’t”
Or just “Nuh Uh”
May 28, 2009 at 10:10 am
I think you have encapsulated in near completion yet maximum brevity the prevailing political philosophy of the Republican party since ’94.
“NUh-uh!” has it all except the not to be overlooked porcine aspect, which to be expressed requires addendum:
Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!
May 26, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Rep John Culberson relates Constitutional fan Fiction to 11th graders.
May 26, 2009 at 3:33 pm
They ask a question about his blackberry.
May 26, 2009 at 3:34 pm
http://studentsandleaders.org/john_culberson.html
The snippet is useless, all the good lies are in the beginning.
May 26, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Uh oh. Look out, Atrios is brown-nosing The Editors again.
May 26, 2009 at 6:09 pm
“You should see the c-span video of Michael Steele talking to a room of african-american students in Woodson High School in D.C. this week.”
(Michael Steele voice, whatever in hell that sounds like, I don’t want to remember):
“That only works if your party collapsed after the nation elected the first black president in American history. Michael Steele, 1st black Rebuplican Party National Chairman: now *that’s* what I call affirmative action.”
May 26, 2009 at 6:12 pm
As in “Spic Chick Snips Dicks”
The number of Republican castrati who fear women of color chopping off their already detached Cheneys is quite large.
May 26, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Slightly more seriously, we read here that:
“Conservative groups know they want to oppose Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor — but exactly how that campaign will be conducted is a major unanswered question that is splitting the Republican right.
***
But Sotomayor’s history suggests the very sort of judicial restraint that conservatives clamor for in a nominee.”
It’s one thing when wingnut bloggers, with major envy of Ken’s sideburns, say extremely stupid things in rapid-fire postings. It’s another when the big guys who actually steer the republican party publicly screw the I Am Stupid inflatable love doll and complain she feels too much like the real thing.
It shows how likely it is they’ve never had the real thing. Ever.
May 26, 2009 at 9:33 pm
I was at the gym today, and in the lockers they had a TV set that was playing Fox News. There was a show about Sotomayor, and Ann Coulter was on it. Below her face, in the chyron, they showed her name. And it said:
Ann Coulter
Constitutional Law Scholar
I’m still, still smiling.
May 27, 2009 at 12:05 am
Uh oh. Look out, Atrios is brown-nosing The Editors again.
May 27, 2009 at 4:06 am
Far in the future… the world has changed… almost unrecognisable to those alive today… America in 2035!
______________________________________________
[Exclusive excerpt... exclusive excerpt]
FOX News 2035
Host: Hi, I’m Virgil Willis.
Hostess: And I’m Anna Scheuer!
Host Welcome to Fox News Breakdown, where we… er, ‘break down’ the week’s developments for you, the viewer!
Hostess: Quite a show today! Coming up… The importance of science education, why prison reform reduces crime, a new energy efficient car is a hit with motorists and how racial sensitivity improves lives – the moving tale of a Mexican couple in Arizona….
Host: But first, the Governor of Texas explains to us why assault rifles should be illegal, and why other states should follow Texas’ lead in banning them.
Governor, glad to have you with us, as always.
Governor: Pleasure to be here, Virgil!
Host: Off topic, but I think congratulations are in order!
Governor: (smiles) Thank-you!
Host: Sorry for viewers who don’t know – Texan Governor Gael Garcia Luna was married two weeks ago to Oklahoma senator James Inhofe Jr. They’ve just come back from their honeymoon in Venezuela, is that right?
Governor: Yes we did! After a brief stop in Cuba.
Host: Caracas is so beautiful this time of year.
Governor: More than Havana? I’d say it was a close call! And you gotta love the music scene there!
Host: Yeah, but in Caracas you got the… Oh, I just got a message from the elected committee of producers – memo to Virgil, time is short!
I just go off on one sometimes, sorry, gals and guys! The first thing they tell you when you become a host at FOX – be aware of your shortcomings!
Hostess: Hold on a minute you two, breaking news!
Vocieover: FOX Breaking News! The government of Chad has issued a drought warning! The lives of hundreds of thousands of people are at risk as global-warming-exacerbated drought threatens this year’s harvest again. The President of Chad, Sophie Abbas, has issued an appeal to the international community for immediate assistance…
Host: Oh no!
Hostess: Oh, those poor people!
Governor of Texas: I’m on the phone right now – I can get 3 planes ready in half an hour.
Host: Is there an emergency fund available in the Texas state budget?
Governor: Well, we can use the money saved from scrapping border patrols and mega-prisons. Anyway, I know the Texas legislature and they would happily run up a debt for this.
Hostess: I’m just reaching for my publicly-issued credit card, Virgil! I was going to buy a Prius, but this just puts everything in perspective, doesn’t it?
Of course viewers will know all about Chad because our world-famous Africa correspondents have been covering the Saharan states for the last few months.
Host: I wonder how this will affect the upcoming elections in Niger, Anna?
Hostess: Oh, I think this is hardly the time to focus on horse race politics, Virgil.
Host: Of course, you’re right.
Call-phone operator: We’re getting a lot of viewers’ calls right now. Jesse from Charlottesville, Virginia says that he’s happy to donate money to Chad but says it’s important to remember that ‘private charity is no substitute for a fully-funded and consistent government programme to aid African disaster relief’.
Hostess: Good point, Jesse!
Call-phone operator: Oh, and we got a call from our regular conspiracy fan, Ron, in Chico, California. Should we put him on?
Hostess: Er…OK, Ron, are you there, Ron?
Ron: Yeah, hi, it’s me, great show guys! Love ya all!
Hostess: Now, Ron, I got to tell ya, we’re pretty riled up about what might happen in Chad right now. Might not be the time to explain how America needs to return to a silver-based currency…
Ron: Ha, ha! Yeah, well I’d love to talk about the silver standard and my new theory on the goings-on at the Council on Foreign Relations, but you’re right, I’m sure your viewers have heard enough from me on that! Ha, ha! What we need to be focussed on right now is a practical effort to manage reduction in crop yields in East Africa. I mean, let’s get the relief there, sure, but we have to think about the long term. Are we preparing for the next drought?
Hostess: Good point, Ron, catch up with us later! We’ll be getting our White House correspondent to press the President on exactly that point.
Host: Well, Governor, back to you! We were going to talk assault weapons, but now it’s all about Chad, isn’t it?
Governor: Well, I just got off the phone with the Secretary of State and she said the President will be meeting with the Prime Minister of Chad in the next two days, as soon as she’s got back from West Papua.
Hostess: West Papua? Where’s that?
All: Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Host: Man, how many Peabody awards do we owe West Papua?
Hostess: Thank God the Indonesian occupation is finally over! What a nightmare for those people. And what a terrible role the US played for so many years.
Call-phone operator: I love this country, but I sometimes gotta admit, I feel ashamed when I think of West Papua.
Host: Anyway, Governor, we’re going to have to move to the next segment. For viewers, the number of the national Disaster Emergency Committee is right below the screens and you can… well, you guys and gals know the drill!
Governor: I’m pleased to say that we’re going to be able to send out a whole team of my state’s fine doctors to carry out emergency treatment on the worst-affected children in Chad.
All: [Applaud]
Governor: No, don’t applaud me, applaud Texas’ doctors!
Hostess: OK, on to science education now. Just a quick comment. We got a call from a viewer who is concerned about the right-wing bias of this network. Janice from Columbus, Ohio, says our commentary on Chad hasn’t focussed nearly as much on the damaging impact of capitalist agriculture as ABC news has.
Host: Well, Janice, you bring up an interesting point. We take all accusations of bias very seriously here at FOX and we’ll have an internal investigation, with the results made public that I hope does justice to your complaint. Of course, we are the conservative channel but we try to be fair.
Hostess: Right, now for a special report on the blooming science education in America, we have Latoya Williams reporting from Scott City, Kansas.
____________________________________
…same joke continues indefinitely
May 27, 2009 at 6:48 am
So this is a romance novel?
May 27, 2009 at 9:35 am
More like magical realism.
May 27, 2009 at 10:29 am
Science fiction is still trying to get the future right, you know.
May 27, 2009 at 3:02 pm
What, no detailed blocking?
May 27, 2009 at 10:26 am
“Ann Coulter
Constitutional Law Scholar”
That just means their screen graphics software program isn’t equipped to place an umlaut over the ‘u’. Hence the ‘o’.
May 27, 2009 at 12:26 pm
On Mike Huckabee thinking her first name is Maria:
She reads a plea and scrapes her knee
Her robe has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to Court
And bristles on the stairs
And underneath her robes
She has Guevara in her laire
I even heard her singing in the Court room
She’s always late for argument
But her reasoning is for real
She’s always late for everything
Except for Ally Mcbeal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Maria’s [sic] not an asset to the Court room
I’d like to say a word in her behalf
Maria [sic] makes me laugh
How do you oppose a judge like Maria [sic]?
How does she view a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a case that defines Maria [sic]?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A noun!
Many may like to plea and like to brief her
Many may think she ought to understand
But how do you ask for a stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a witness on her stand?
Oh, how do you oppose a judge like Maria [sic]?
How do you read her ruling in your hand?
When I’m before her I’m confused
Out of sorts and bemused
And I never know what to argue
Unpredictable as weather
She’s a lefty like Dave Souter
She’s a liberal! She’s an activist! She’s a lamb!
She’d outlawyer any lawyerer
Drive an expert from his expertise
She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
She is liberal! She likes Che!
She’s a riddle! She’s a gay!
She’s a headache! She’s an angel!
She’s a girl!
How do you oppose a judge like Maria [sic]?
How does she view a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a case that defines Maria[sic]?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A noun!
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how can she issue a stay
And listen to all you say
How do you control a judge’s stand
Oh, how do you oppose a judge like Maria [sic]?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
May 27, 2009 at 3:02 pm
No blocking.
May 27, 2009 at 12:48 pm
“Karl Rove is a super evil genius mastermind wizard with an 18 intelligence and 19 wisdom”
He must have used charisma as a dump stat, then.
May 27, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I luv ugh.
If anyone knows the Secret Lyrics to those Songs By Request Only, ugh does.
May 27, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Well, this is small faux pasies after Newt Gingrich thought Michelle Obama’s name was Foxy Cleopatra Obama.
Gennulpersons, we are watching a miracle, an essential transformation of the basic laws of the universe. We are watching the republican party overturn Godwin’s Law. In time, the only sensible response to them will be to call them Nazis.
In 2012, their Chosen One will be… Neo Nazi, as predicted by MoFoUs.
May 27, 2009 at 2:53 pm
He must have used charisma as a dump stat, then.
Comeliness?
May 27, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Rebranding.
May 27, 2009 at 3:19 pm
It would be cool if he didn’t stutter over the important words. Like when he says, or tries to say, ‘did so very much to unite the nation, bring the nation together’, you can hear his brain stumble over something like ‘the man who freed the coloreds’.
My cognitive dissonance denial-of-reality vibe register is blown. Antennae shot out the top of my punkin hayed.
Watching this is like watching Mr.T do gay pron and call it pro-wrestling.
May 27, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Puerto Rico…oh yeah, that place where all the spic chics are named Angelica and play squeezebox in trippy indie electronica bands.
May 28, 2009 at 5:30 am
Music was so cooler when you just heard it piped through the radio or headphones or mysterious speakers in the hotel lobby. The way THE BEARD OF MACROPROSOPUS intended it.
May 27, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Can’t wait till Sinco-de-mayor wows everyone during her confirmation hearings when she steps up and takes a smokin’ accordion solo.
May 28, 2009 at 4:41 am
I heard Colors by Ice T the other day in the radio, and I said, “this could play in Albertson’s or an Elevator.” Then I knew I was now old.
May 28, 2009 at 5:23 am
Old is when you hear remakes of remakes of Frank Sinatra tunes 1st popularized in the mid-50s in an Albertson’s elevator, and some nose-ringer says, “The Harry Connick, Jr. original was WAY-Y-Y better.”
May 28, 2009 at 6:03 am
God I hate Twitter, especially now that Reptards have discovered it as another means of disseminating dumbness (aka spreading teh stupid):
I Am 2 S2pid
May 28, 2009 at 6:10 am
And now it’s official:
Stupidity Has a Face!
May 28, 2009 at 8:11 am
By the Beard of MACROPROCTOPUSS! That are some mean bad shit ape crazy stooo–pid grin.
May 28, 2009 at 8:34 am
It strikes me a an antiphotogenic example of why certain southern Methodists take umbrage at their own miscontrual of neo-darwinian evolutionary theory into the notion that “man allegedly descended from apes”.
The family resemblance is, for the likes of Joe Barton, entirely too close.
But hey, who am I to deny a fella’s right to deny himself the right to *evolve*?
May 28, 2009 at 6:34 am
Dumber than I thought it’d look
May 28, 2009 at 8:39 am
An intriguing paradox, yes? Who is dumber: he who looks dumber than one thought he could look, or he whose thought fails to appreciate how truly dumb a truly dumbass can appear?
For truly, no man can look upon the face of Divine Stupidity and not be stupefied.
Free Beards for All!
Or, as Joe Barton would say, Free All Beards!
May 28, 2009 at 8:35 am
I go on record here to note that so far we’ve heard no Kaballahistic reference to the Sideburns of Ken. (Perhaps this is because a rabbi needs some secret place in which to stash a blunt, yes?)
May 28, 2009 at 9:32 am
Heck, it was mentioned in the very first disposition!
May 28, 2009 at 10:50 am
Oh. Well, that’s right after we smoked the Joint of the High Shekina. Hard to read straight through all that Burning Beard smoke.
May 28, 2009 at 11:14 am
No wait, wasn’t that on the First Chochma Day?
May 28, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Bastard made me look up chochma. Like I thought, it means ‘stoned’, or if you like, “wisdom or creative intellect”.
May 28, 2009 at 8:45 am
And now, Rahm Emmanuel’s response to this week’s attempt by the Republican party to maintain some political cachet by blowing farts through sprigs of lilac and lavender:
Kiss Ken’s Hairy Ass!
May 29, 2009 at 1:50 pm
God forbid we let personal acumen intrude on our otherwise oh so dispassionate conclusions.
Personally, I want a SCOTUS from Pluto: someone who has NO clue what it’s like to be a *minority on Earth.
(omigod: I just hit quadzillionZZZ triple irony word score! mein hoofverkraft is vfull ufv eelzszs! mein nippuhlzz **exPLOD(r)E in der light! the goggles they do nothing!)
This mental defenestration brought to you courtesy of your Republican National Committee donation $$s…
…and worth every penny we didn’t spend.
*that would be Michael Steele?
**that’s just me positioning myself for next year’s Order of the Golden Hemorrhoid.
(John Lennon voice): I got hemorrhoids in my Beard, y’all!
May 30, 2009 at 9:45 am
Actually ‘Chochma’ is one of the 10 Sefira in the cabbalistic tree. Through which the Shekina flows down ‘pon y’all.
Anyhoo. A “Chochma Day” is a cycle in one’s own Chochma-to-Malkuth-to Tziddik (? I think) triple-play channeling of MACROPOSCOPUSS vibration fibration.
It lasts about 70 ordinary days.
May 30, 2009 at 8:58 pm
And ponies? Bearded ponies? Is that too much to ask?
May 31, 2009 at 3:18 pm
I ask again.
June 4, 2009 at 10:48 am
Not just a pony. A “pony-all”. By Hasbro(R). About which name the Eds can make some kind of ‘racial’ remark.