Arkansas state Sen. Kim Hendren, who is currently the only announced Republican candidate for U.S. Senator against Democratic incumbent Blanche Lincoln in 2010, has apologized for referring to Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) as “that Jew,” at a county Republican meeting last week.
“I don’t use a teleprompter and occasionally I put my foot in my month,” Hendren told Arkansas blogger Jason Tolbert.
The “teleprompter” being, of course, a box of devil Jew magick that converts one’s thoughts to printed words, inserting the full names of various Jews as appropriate, and imperiling your Christian soul. Or, better: he had a teleprompter, but some Jews stole it. FINAL EDIT: they cunningly Jewed him out of it. A teleprompter would have cleared that up.
More:”At the meeting I was attempting to explain that unlike Sen. Schumer, I believe in traditional values, like we used to see on ‘The Andy Griffith Show,’” he explained. “I made the mistake of referring to Sen. Schumer as ‘that Jew’ and I should not have put it that way as this took away from what I was trying to say.”
My favorite thing about ‘The Andy Griffith Show’ was how easy it was to remember the names of all the Jewish characters. There was that one episode where a Jewish fella from New York gave Opie some jazz cigarettes to pose in Aunt Bee’s unmentionables, and the Jew TV executives who cancelled the show and replaced it with interracial oil rasslin’ and mouthy wimmin with hairy armpits – ‘Mayberry, RFD’, I believe that show was called. That’s about it.
Late Update: Hendren gave a further apology to the Associated Press. “When I referred to him as Jewish, it wasn’t because I don’t like Jewish people,” he said. He also added: “I shouldn’t have gotten into this Jewish business because it distracts from the issue.“
Wait: when did he start wholesaling diamonds?* This story is confusing.
So of course, everybody is rushing to condemn Kiefer without even exploring the many questions raised by this headline. Such as: what was that man doing over Brooke Shields?
More:
[Women's wear designer Jack] McCollough reportedly received a minor cut on his nose. The designer is quoted as telling authorities that Sutherland “was drunk and obnoxious and wouldn’t back down or be logical,” and that the actor “pulled this stupid wrestling move like a teenager” before the headbutt. An attorney for Sutherland had no comment.
That doesn’t sound like the Kiefer I know. And if Kiefer’s wrestling move was so “stupid”, how come you didn’t reverse it into an Atomic Suplex, a Spinning Piledriver, or Jake the Snake Robert’s patented DDT? Exactly. This guy’s story is phony on the face of it, and, frankly, he sounds like a possible terrorist. How could Kiefer be sure this guy didn’t know the location of a ticking bomb if he didn’t head butt him in the face? It sounds like a clear case of a guy exercising good judgement and civic-minded concern for his fellow Americans, and a bunch of snooty NYC liberals rushing to judge him and make snide remarks about his unarmed combat style just because he’s had a drink or twenty. It’s like the time Christopher Hitchens stumbled onto the stage during a Broadway production of “Rent”, cock in hand, and urinated on Benny’s shoes. Hitch, quite naturally, passed out with relief that Benny was not wearing shoe bombs, but everybody else decides they’d rather complain and criticize. New York always turns on its heroes.
Anyway, on the other side of the country, it looks like Ahnuld wants to legalize pot. I suppose there are more destructive intoxicants out there – I can’t think of one off hand right now, and I don’t really know why I brought it up, but it’s too late now. At least it would free up time for Kiefer to find the real terrorists. I can’t think of a downside, really, provided that the state constitution is amended such that forming a “jam band” shall be punished by a head butt to the face.
I am about 80% convinced that this is real, even though that’s obviously impossible because nobody is that stupid:
Unafraid In Greenwich Connecticut
Clifford S. Asness
Managing and Founding Principal
AQR Capital Management, LLC
The President has just harshly castigated hedge fund managers for being unwilling to take his administration’s bid for their Chrysler bonds. [...]
I run an approximately twenty billion dollar money management firm that offers hedge funds as well as public mutual funds and unhedged traditional investments. My company is not involved in the Chrysler situation, but I am still aghast at the President’s comments (of course these are my own views not those of my company). Furthermore, for some reason I was not born with the common sense to keep it to myself, though my title should more accurately be called “Not Afraid Enough” as I am indeed fearful writing this… It’s really a bad idea to speak out. [...]
Here’s a shock. When hedge funds, pension funds, mutual funds, and individuals, including very sweet grandmothers, lend their money they expect to get it back. However, they know, or should know, they take the risk of not being paid back. [...]
The above is how it works in America, or how it’s supposed to work. The President and his team sought to avoid having Chrysler go through this process, proposing their own plan for re-organizing the company and partially paying off Chrysler’s creditors. Some bond holders thought this plan unfair. Specifically, they thought it unfairly favored the United Auto Workers, and unfairly paid bondholders less than they would get in bankruptcy court. So, they said no to the plan and decided, as is their right, to take their chances in the bankruptcy process. But, as his quotes above show, the President thought they were being unpatriotic or worse. [...]
The President’s attempted diktat takes money from bondholders and gives it to a labor union that delivers money and votes for him. Why is he not calling on his party to “sacrifice” some campaign contributions, and votes, for the greater good? Shaking down lenders for the benefit of political donors is recycled corruption and abuse of power. [...]
Last but not least, the President screaming that the hedge funds are looking for an unjustified taxpayer-funded bailout is the big lie writ large. Find me a hedge fund that has been bailed out. Find me a hedge fund, even a failed one, that has asked for one. In fact, it was only because hedge funds have not taken government funds that they could stand up to this bullying. The TARP recipients had no choice but to go along. The hedge funds were singled out only because they are unpopular, not because they behaved any differently from any other ethical manager of other people’s money. The President’s comments here are backwards and libelous. Yet, somehow I don’t think the hedge funds will be following ACORN’s lead and trucking in a bunch of paid professional protestors soon. Hedge funds really need a community organizer.
This is America. We have a free enterprise system that has worked spectacularly for us for two hundred plus years. When it fails it fixes itself. Most importantly, it is not an owned lackey of the oval office to be scolded for disobedience by the President.
I am ready for my “personalized” tax rate now.
Who pays when trillions of dollars get vaporized in a cloud of incompetence, fraud, and greed, bringing the world economy to the brink of depression? POAR PEOPLE DUH-HERR!!! Read the Constitution!
I confess I don’t know a whole lot about finance, so maybe everyone would be better off if I had no opinion. OTOH, I don’t know a whole lot about how the espresso machine at the coffee place works, either, but that doesn’t necessarily imply that it’s some super-complicated thing that is beyond the comprehension of mere mortals. Also, the espresso machine doesn’t periodically blind all the customers with scalding water, and the guy who runs it doesn’t then explain how that’s how the machine works, and it will soon fix itself as long as we don’t try to contain the spray of scalding water, and can he please have a few hundred billion dollars from the government now or he’ll boil everyone alive, then dressing up like Thomas Jefferson and muttering darkly about ACORN. If you want people to take you seriously, investment firm executives, stop writing open letters that make it sound like Marie Antoinette lobotomized you with an ice cream scoop. Because it gives people ideas. Do yourselves a very, very large favor and shut the fuck up.
We were racing from cops in the white Bronco so that we could find the real killersfind the real torturers because that’s what innocent people do!
Slightly longer explanation:
A Bush administration attorney who approved harsh interrogation techniques of terror suspects advocated in 2006 that President Bush set aside recommendations by his own Justice Department to bring prosecutions for such practices, that the President should consider pardoning anyone convicted of such offenses, and even that jurors hearing criminal cases about such matters engage in jury nullification.
That advice came from John Yoo, a former attorney with the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel and author of memos that served as a legal rationale for the Bush administration’s interrogation techniques. Yoo’s recommendations constitute one of the most compelling pieces of a body of evidence that Yoo and other government attorneys improperly skewed legal advice to allow such practices, according to sources familiar with a still-confidential Justice Department report.
Back in the spring of 1986, after having successfully appointed scores and scores of conservative judges to serve on courts across the country, President Ronald Reagan went too far. He picked a federal prosecutor to a fill a vacancy on the U.S. District Court in Alabama whose nomination was so controversial that it got quashed by the Republican-controlled Senate Judiciary Committee.
That prosecutor was Jeff Sessions, the senator who, in all likelihood will serve as that committee’s most powerful Republican for the next year and a half.
But back to 1986. During the debate over his nomination, committee Democrats questioned Sessions’ prosecutorial discretion, focusing in particular on a case he pursued against three Marion, AL civil rights workers–Albert Turner, Turner’s wife Evelyn, and Spencer Hogue, Jr.–whom he accused of voter fraud. Sessions was unconcerned with claims of fraud outside the so-called Black Belt, but he alleged that the trio had falsified absentee ballots in Perry County during the 1984 election. After conducting an exhaustive investigation, though, he was able to account for only a small handful of questionable examples, and even those he couldn’t pin on his defendants, who were acquitted after only a few hours’ deliberation.
Albert Turner–who was an adviser to Martin Luther King, Jr.–passed away in 2000, and his wife could not be immediately located, but Hogue still lives in Marion, and by phone today he expressed his displeasure with the news that Sessions is, in effect, getting a promotion.
“I don’t know why he’d be promoted,” Hogue said. “It will give him more power to do things he shouldn’t.”
“We were trying to get the right to vote,” Hogue said. “He tried to persecute us.”
That at least is according to posts on three left-leaning blogs.
Writers who are not pro-Barack Obama are suffering character assassination as well. George Will of the Washington Post, the nation’s senior conservative columnist, has been so assaulted by bloggers that his editor, Fred Hiatt, recently wrote, “I would think folks would be eager to engage in the debate, given how sure they are of their case, rather than trying to shut him down.”
It’s interesting that folks such as Shlaes, Will, and Hiatt think that mean bloggers are afraid to debate them. I’ve been running a very mean blog for over 7 years now, and never once has anyone from the Washington Post editorial page or the surrounding environs ever tried to engage me, except when dismissing mean bloggers en masse. Anyway, I’m not mean, I’m just misunderstood, fuckface. Any time you want to engage in a civil, reasoned debate on issue: You Are A Bunch Of Lying Hack Wankers Who Whine Like Tiny Wee Little Girls Every Time You Get Called Out On It, feel free to drop in. My door will always be open.
Sometimes I think that photoshopping dicks on people’s faces on the internets all day is huge a waste of time, particularly for someone of my responsibilities, talents, and rugged good looks. Then something like this comes along, and makes it all worth while. The only way it could be better would be if it were written in tears, and accompanied by a photo of George Will with his tightie whities wedgied up over his head. Good times.
Byron York is upset that people are upset that he thinks that the inclusion of African-Americans in American opinion polls skews the results. It’s not an original argument – it is just a slightly less-labored version of the thesis James Taranto deployed a few years ago to show that Americans love President Bush – and it proves now what it proves then: that you can be not at all bright and still be a successful conservative movement intellectual. If you remove a big chunk of data you don’t like, the remaining data will please you more. How interesting.
In response, of course, York has mounted the conservative counterculture’s official Victim of Anti-Racism Cross, located in the Calvary Estates gated community with a scenic view the country club golf course (closed indefinitely following court-ordered integration). It’s a hard knock life for professional conservatives these days – as we have previously observed – and getting called “foolish”, “innumerate”, or even “racist” everytime you try to dissappear your unpopularity can make you feel like you’re suffering the passion of our Savior. The difference is that Jesus suffered and died for our sins, while everyone hates you because you’re Rick with a silent ‘p’.
This [body] is just a shell, and the shell is going to be changing. You’re going to be 30; you’re going to be 50. That’s why I think it’s important to focus on what matters. Everyone has talents—you’ve just got to find them—and everyone has flaws. Wishing to be something you’re not is the biggest recipe for a sad life. All of us are special. Embrace all that you are! Treat yourself as the special being you are!
Ray Allen is entirely unrealistic. He openly flouts* the laws of the natural world, and doesn’t appear the slightest bit embarrassed by his garish display. Shameless.
These Celts-Bulls games have been the most fun I’ve had watching basketball since the gold medal match during the last Olympics. But then, seeing as I’m a Knicks fan, the bar laying limply on the ground is fairly easy to step over.
