I don’t understand this Facebook. There’s like all these people, and there’s a “News” feed and a “Live” feed, and they’re different, but hell if I know what the difference is, let alone what’s so newsy or lively about them. And I have a “Wall” for some reason, which I guess I’m writing on? Or something? Am I writing on a wall? Is this news? Am I live? Don’t anybody try to explain it to me, because I’m not listening, and I refuse to RTFM. This is supposed to be a web-site, and web-sites aren’t supposed to have FMs. They should explain themselves. So I’m taking a stand here because, dammit, somebody should. I’m making a stand because I don’t know what I’m looking at or who’s looking at me or where I left my shoes. I feel like a 90-year-old grandmother trying to install Linux on the space shuttle. But for unrelated reasons.
I sort of suspected this is something for “The Kids”, as it were, and now I’m suspecting these suspicions were correct. Does Facebook come with a “Lawn”, somewhere, over my “Wall”? Because I want everybody off it.
November 14, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Watch out. Stop now before you humiliate yourself. I was trying to make my little sister a facebook friend and I accidentaly invited everyone in my Gmail address book to join facebook.
Facebook added a little note allegedly from me — in Italian.
Now 532 people know I just can’t handle this new techostuff on the intertubes.
I’d hide my face for shame, but facebook sent a photo of me along with la piccola nota informativa.
November 14, 2009 at 9:02 pm
I don’t understand the kids these days either. I mean, what’s wrong blogs? Or email? Or a dial phone with a real bell in it?
November 14, 2009 at 9:38 pm
No doubt, Facebook is part of the Grand Marxist Plot to control the Internets Tubes with the Fairness Doctrine of Liberal Fascism or something.
– bi
November 14, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Facebook was designed by a committee of small, sugar-hyped children of no great intellectual ability, who could not be bothered to stick around long enough to ensure internal consistency and user-friendliness.
I have myself installed Linux on the space shuttle, or at any rate on my Toshiba Satellite, and using Facebook is much more difficult and much less intuitive than using Linux.
So there.
November 15, 2009 at 12:47 am
Facebook: because “less awful than MySpace” turned out to be a pretty fucking low bar to clear.
November 15, 2009 at 12:48 am
(p.s. nice to see you around and about again. I take it the Editorial Assistant is now occasionally sleeping through the night?)
November 15, 2009 at 6:09 am
I also don’t understand how anyone believes they are interesting enough to tweet when they go to the bathroom.
And don’t get me started on virtual worlds.
I’m happy to take the stand with you, brother. (On my side of the wall, of course.)
Luddites, unite!
November 29, 2009 at 12:52 am
Hi everyone! I’m going to the bathroom! Nice consistency, with a smooth sphincter transition. My pee was a very light yellow I call “Summer Wheat.” Stay tuned for more updates!
**Computer, Notify me of follow-up comments via email!**
November 15, 2009 at 5:05 pm
You’re funny–I like the lawn remark. And yes, I think it’s mainly for the kids,although it’s also useful as a spy tool on said kids, if you’re so inclined. I try not to spy, but I succomb (sp?) every now and then.
November 15, 2009 at 5:08 pm
I hv FB pg, WPOD. IROK
November 15, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Book ‘em, Danno.
November 16, 2009 at 6:55 pm
“Bill ‘em, Danno!”
was our chorus.
.
November 15, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Yes to all of the above. Also. Other things I refuse to do: text message or even learn how to text message. God invented keyboards and email so we wouldn’t have have to type on tiny keypads so user-unfriendly that they encourage and may succeed in completely corrupting and debasing the written English language.
And I’m not too keen on learning all the “functions” on my Blackberry – it was foisted upon me by my Nazi bosses. So far, I’ve been successful at avoiding how to do anything but talk on the phone or read email and texts, and take pictures of my cat.
Bah! When I was a kid, we had rabbit ears on a black and white vacuum-tube tv, and a cheapo phonograph in a box that shocked us every time we touched it! And that’s the way it was and we liked it!
November 16, 2009 at 11:13 am
See, I am able to forgive all of technology’s other transgressions for the cat picture taking capabilities.
November 16, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Can you even remember remembering how to text?
I just phone.
.
November 29, 2009 at 1:05 am
Which also sucks because everyone sends their messages to voicemail, at least I do, “I’ll talk to you when I’m ready.”
This continues in an infinite loop.
November 17, 2009 at 9:28 am
I, for one, find the corporate blackberry an invaluable tool for reading blogs during company meetings.
November 29, 2009 at 12:54 am
Jennifers are making sense.
November 15, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Perhaps FaceBook really was created with Sarah Palin in mind. I defy any of you to prove otherwise!
November 29, 2009 at 1:08 am
Palin’s Internet Efforts Lacking
Despite the enormous enthusiasm of her supporters, The Hill reports that Sarah Palin has done a poor job of establishing a strong online presence.
“Senate Republican Conference online communications director Sean Hackbarth lobbed this charge at Palin’s online presence this week: ‘I’m sorry, Sarah Palin has one of the lamest online efforts of any national political figure.’”
http://politicalwire.com/archives/2009/11/28/palins_internet_efforts_lacking.html
November 15, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Here’s facebook themselves on “News” vs “Live” — http://blog.facebook.com/blog.php?post=162536657130 — I don’t really see the difference on my own page. I think if I was some highschooler with 20000 friends, there might be more of a difference. I guess?
A “wall” is kind of like a dorm whiteboard. It’s something that anyone can write a note on. I write on your wall, you write on mine. It’s a terrible, horrible way to have a conversation.
More commonly, people just “share” things (“what’s on your mind?”), which is kind of like posting on an interwub blog. You might understand that comparison. Things you share will appear on friends’ news feeds.
Really, anything and everything you do on facebook appears in the news feed of your friends.
Also, if you haven’t, go RIGHT NOW to the Settings / Srivacy Settings section of facebook and start turning shit off. The default seems to be “broadcast my entire life to the internet, please, especially these drunken pantsless pictures.”
November 15, 2009 at 10:19 pm
That’s Privacy, not Srivacy.
November 16, 2009 at 8:26 am
You were obviously drunken and pantsless when you typed the previous. Can we get a pic?
November 16, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Srivacy? Isn’t that Hindu for being really cool?
November 15, 2009 at 10:33 pm
I put this post up on my Facebook wall. I don’t know if my friends will get it though.
“When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to laugh. Not because of what he said, but because of a joke I thought of. I told him the joke, but he didn’t laugh very much. Some friend HE is.” – Jack Handey
November 16, 2009 at 9:08 am
I searched FB for “The Editors” and all I got was some dumb band.
November 16, 2009 at 11:15 am
I think AARP puts out some pretty nice pamphlets on this kinds of topics.
November 18, 2009 at 2:39 am
I posted this on my facebook too because I’m awesome like that.
November 29, 2009 at 1:02 am
I signed up for the facebook after hiding in the bathroom for 6 hours because I thought the strong boys were going to chase me with urine ballons and pull and press my beautiful firm man boobs until I pissed, shit, and vomited all the bile from my empty stomach again.
Twitter I avoided like La Plaga de Resident Evil 4, and then I they stuck my balls into a turbine clamp and made me tell the prettiest girl in school, Cindy Jenkins, that I love to eat cock and my new name is Jonny Thunderskates, which is not true because mein real name is Ube Meatheimer. That’s why I use facebook and twitter now. Thank you for letting me tell my story.