Tommy Friedman wonders why the Muslim world is so unappreciative of America’s selfless and magnanimous offer of forced fellatio

What Tommy doesn’t understand is that those crazy exotic Arabs prefer you to ask them out to dinner before bombing their countries, killing hundreds of thousands of their countrymen/co-religionists, creating millions of refugees and otherwise leading to unthinkable suffering.  To prove a point about our machismo.

Dinner and a little pillow talk Tom.  It goes a long way.