Dear The Internet: I got together with my eyes, ears, and brain, and we all agreed that we hate you.
I hope this haunts the sleep of all Brown voters.
January 23, 2010
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January 23, 2010
Dear The Internet: I got together with my eyes, ears, and brain, and we all agreed that we hate you.
I hope this haunts the sleep of all Brown voters.
January 23, 2010 at 9:31 pm
I see Michael Steele’s youth outreach is working. Sweet!
January 23, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Continuing my much-needed and deeply researched and well-preasoned (sic) campaign to fight internet incivility with music videos of mass destruction, and to kill minidaddy before he grows a real burrito, I post yet another Steely Dan vid of a song I somehow never heard back in the day when they were young and hip and I was at least young:
Get happy chillun!
January 23, 2010 at 10:10 pm
I though to myself: “self, surely if you watch this with the sound off, you’ll be able to appreciate the funny without hearing anything that will cause your brain to explode.” It seemed like a good plan.
Then I saw the backup dancers. I hate you SO MUCH now.
January 23, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Prophylactic applications of Hummer cologne will mostly protect your head from internal brain explosion.
January 23, 2010 at 10:25 pm
A most powerful burritocide:
Works best of you sing along, especially very drunk.
January 23, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Then, just before passing out, play this:
January 24, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Oh, just BEFORE passing out.
Fuck.
January 26, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Much harder to push ‘play’ after you’ve passed out.
January 23, 2010 at 10:32 pm
muy muy malo.
January 24, 2010 at 12:13 am
I hope every deity in the universe smites the living crap out of The Editors and kenmeer livermaile for this thread.
January 24, 2010 at 1:31 am
You have incurred the wrath of ancient hepitude and will be punished
January 24, 2010 at 2:11 am
Gets worse:
Rare gem, ol’ Buzzy.
January 24, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Finally, someone uploaded this to youtube, so I can respond in a properly naive upbeat manner. Fucking hippies.
January 24, 2010 at 7:14 pm
You cannot resist that chorus. Well, not after several bong hits of killer shit…
January 24, 2010 at 7:41 pm
Killer shit is how crack kills.
January 24, 2010 at 2:34 am
Perhaps younger naifs feel kitschy affection for disco music. They are wrong:
I Hate Disco Music
January 24, 2010 at 7:06 am
Dear The Internet: I got together with my eyes, ears, and brain, and we all agreed that we hate you.
After that, right back at ya.
kenmeer livermaile ~ ta, cool, no-one outgroves the Dan
January 24, 2010 at 1:10 pm
They’re Super Grover!
January 24, 2010 at 5:22 pm
It’s strange that many otherwise sane folks can’t stand the Dan. As a good friend once told me, anyone who doesn’t know the lyrics to every Steely Dan song just does not have all their shit in one sock.
January 24, 2010 at 7:20 pm
I always admired Dan back in the day, but at the time was not interested in cynical humor or dark insights into modern times. So I dug their harmonic reach, polyrhythmic chops, lyrical solos and generally elevated competence, but didn’t poursue their albums, only letting the mainstream radio send them to me.
This is why I also only admired Zappa from a distance except for his purely instrumental work.
Back then and until they came to take me away, all I wanted was trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers that sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs.
I was all about “classical” music and (mostly pre-Parker) jazz and what was the roots of world music (think the World-Pacific record label and Nonesuch’s Explorer series).
Makes it great fun discovering Fagen&Becker’s quirky worlds. I still prefer best their straightahead happy lyricism like Parker’s Band or Peg or Aja, but there are days when I hear over and over in my head lines like “My back to the wall a victim of laughing chance” or “Do you take me for a fool, do you think that I can’t see, that ditch out in the alley that they’re digging just for me”.
Today I’m mostly riding bareback on my armadillo…
January 24, 2010 at 7:33 am
Mini Daddy, as in Mini Daddy Yankee.
January 24, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Consider this a warning shot…
There’s plenty more where that came from, so don’t fuck with me.
January 24, 2010 at 1:10 pm
I think I’m turning Japanese!
January 24, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Normally when a guy picks up a guitar and starts looking all sensitive, I head for the exits. However, this Gene Clark song is the extreme opposite of muy malo. From the sadly overlooked and fantastic “White Light” album, 1971:
January 24, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Muy bueno! Es verdad.
January 24, 2010 at 5:10 pm
I told you not to fuck with me.
January 24, 2010 at 5:46 pm
I’ve always wanted to hear Leon Thomas Sings Slim Whitman featuring Liberace on harpsichord, Boots Randolph on melodica, John Entwistle on tuba and Sandy Nelson on human beatbox.
Chills, I tell ye…
January 24, 2010 at 5:43 pm
We have an infestation…
January 24, 2010 at 6:03 pm
We do?
January 24, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Love is everywhere, dude. Massachusetts elected its enemy. That’s *love*.
January 24, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Like this?
January 24, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Yeah, just so long as none of ‘em can afford health care.
January 24, 2010 at 7:08 pm
Speaking of pop legends (grandlaff), it seems all geezers reunite in The Future.
January 25, 2010 at 10:24 am
Anything that gets them out of the rest home is good, I guess.
January 24, 2010 at 7:22 pm
And not just pop legends…
January 24, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Like Wall Street bankers who whistle Captain Beefheart?
January 24, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Yeah, Col. Bruce doesn’t quite have mojo he had 40 years ago. Seriously, get your hands on a copy of Music To Eat. It’s fucking awesome.
January 24, 2010 at 7:57 pm
I am so not hip. I know nothing.
January 24, 2010 at 7:59 pm
Their aura could not extend as far as Elberton.
January 24, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Any album that’s 2nd worst selling in Columbia record’s history haw to be magnificent.
January 24, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Besides, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Street Survivors had just busted through and that was ALL you were allowed to play.
But by then, I was just thilled to find a copy of Weather Report’s latest in the only record store.
Being mostly vagrant, I listened to a lot of other people’s bad music.
January 25, 2010 at 9:21 am
January 25, 2010 at 10:08 am
Could this the result of socialized medicine? Maybe we better not go down that road after all.
January 25, 2010 at 10:08 am
A reasoned and compelling argument, Harris. I concur without reservation.
January 25, 2010 at 11:53 am
lmao
January 25, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Remember the scene in Austin Powers where the sexy-bitch’s mother explains how back in the 60s, having bad teeth didn’t necessarily negate a man’s sex mojo?
There aren’t enough toupees in Paris to correct this vid’s imbalance.
Now I understand why an early 70s promo-sampler of Warner Brothers’ Easy Listening artists was titled Schlagers!
The hepitude’s growing amid all the love that’s everywhere now that HCR is collapsing in despair. Call it intermutual schadenfreude: if we all suffer enough, our pleasure in each other’s misery will take us all to higher ground.
January 25, 2010 at 1:54 pm
will it blow ur mind to find out that this is from the 90s and that i knew a german exchange student who really liked this. i shouldnt have been so surprised that she turned out to be the most evil person i ever met lol.
January 25, 2010 at 3:22 pm
Oh, I figured it was 90s. Something about the production values and the audience look.
January 25, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Harris is on to something. In Germany there is an atrocious pop genre called Schlager. Most of it is profoundly unironic, but in recent years a stream of post-modern hipster über-ironic Schlager has emerged. Guildo Horn is one examplar, but not a very good one.
The true master is Dieter Thomas Kuhn. Here’s some of his post-modern hipster über-ironic schlagery goodness: DTK covering the old Reinhard Mey classic “Über den Wolken”. The title translates, roughly, as “Up Above the Clouds”. But even if you dont know German, you’d probably have guessed that from the video.
January 25, 2010 at 5:17 pm
“Schlager” sounds like “schlock.” Is that coincidence?
January 25, 2010 at 6:57 pm
that was fantastic. im speechless b/c that video was so much fun but i didnt like the song but really without the song the video wouldnt be nearly as good.
January 25, 2010 at 10:52 am
You know what? I blame cable television for just about everything. (And have seen the abomination that is satellite TV? Jesus.) Why? Because it’s a big steaming pile of useless overpriced shit. But everyone has gotten so used to it that they don’t even fucking notice. It’s just something we think we have to have, so we go along and let the toob do it’s magic on our brains, totally destroying — as Taibbi said — our freak-out reflex. So you say the internet is no different, only bigger? Bullshit. For one thing, the value per dollar ratio is damn near infinity compared to cable. For another, oh fuck it, who am I arguing with?
January 25, 2010 at 1:28 pm
You are arguing with the same people who dub schlagers “mainstream contemporary pop music (on the radio) intended for a mature adult audience”.
Mature adults my eyehole.
January 25, 2010 at 5:20 pm
And the people who buy the shit I hope I never hear that’s always at the top of the iTunes charts.
January 25, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Not arguing with me. On basic cable out here, we don’t get Comedy Central but we do get three shopping channels.
January 25, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Commencing competitive series of unwitting schlagers:
I like to think this 1st entry set a decently high standard to beat?
January 25, 2010 at 11:06 pm
“…on the day of rockening…”
I guess you’d call it pomo pop?
Who dares google for their fan site and learn the names of their onstage personae?
I love Ringo!
January 26, 2010 at 3:44 am
Finishing what Kiss started.
January 26, 2010 at 11:59 am
Well, the pompous pretentions of circa ’70s rock deserved puncturing, but did it have to be done with epaulette spikes worn by clowns in greasepaint kabuki?
Couldn’t it have been by guys in gorilla suits wielding Clovis points?
January 25, 2010 at 11:08 pm
Baby burrito grows up?
January 26, 2010 at 6:33 am
January 26, 2010 at 11:13 am
Let me guess, these are the record producers’ kids – or their mistresses’ kids?
January 26, 2010 at 12:12 pm
From the Institute for Interdisciplinary Time-Wasting studies of Time Waste:
January 26, 2010 at 12:13 pm
As inspired by these renegaqde original geniuses:
January 26, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Truman was right to nuke them fuckers. But they shouldn’t have stopped. Now we have this:
and no one can save us now, not even the surviving members of this superhero team:
January 26, 2010 at 12:27 pm
January 26, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Thank FSM I was smart enough to stay far far away from this at the time. It’s even more lame than I suspected.
January 26, 2010 at 5:32 pm
It exuded a repulsion field that saved us from its evil.
January 26, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Ken Russell’s film version of Tommy gave everyone fair warning of how fucked up this kind of stuff could get.
January 26, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Y’all keep on messing around with this kitsch. But ain’t but one thing gonna save us.
Yep, that’s right. FUNK.
Prog Funk?
January 26, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Absolute fave P-Funk tune:
January 26, 2010 at 6:48 pm
But my fave P-Funk song title itself is “Butt-to-Butt Resuscitation”.
January 26, 2010 at 7:06 pm
When groovy cool aliens invaded the media for the benefit of all mankind:
January 26, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Whatchye’d call a segue:
January 26, 2010 at 7:13 pm
January 26, 2010 at 10:31 pm
All would be healed if Ben Folds and Fagen-Becker did a collaboalbum.
KATE!
Seriously. The 7 Seals, the Mayan calendar, the whole Shakirabang…
January 26, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Not only is Steely Dan a decadent seductive delight made of tarnished chrome and bits of old movie stars, they can predict the future. This song came out in 2003 and should have been required listening 24-hours-a-day in the fall of 2009.
January 27, 2010 at 12:09 am
Sometimes I think I should attend the occasional rock concert:
Amazing choral performance. Some sound engineer deserves a life supply of coke lines.
January 27, 2010 at 12:11 am
<A HREF="“>Ponies Included”
January 27, 2010 at 12:15 am
Kind of embarrasing:
Sure he’s god, but Daryll (orig Ben 5 drummer) had the ‘just a drummer’ spirit).
January 27, 2010 at 10:37 am
Um, ‘good’ not “god”. yeesh.
January 27, 2010 at 12:33 am
Sound is shit but the historical miracle is uranium gold:
And the audience collaboration is rather spine-chillin’
January 27, 2010 at 12:34 am
Addes streaker bonus:
I can die happily now. Just gimme a tonna heroin, pls?
January 27, 2010 at 12:45 am
Seriously, it’s like Chewbacca reuniting w/ Han. Death to the deathstar!
January 27, 2010 at 5:31 pm
January 28, 2010 at 3:00 pm
I am so staying the fuck out of this thread.
January 28, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Shickenchit.