This takedown of the conservative obsession (ostensible) with machismo and self-made-man grittitude in political leaders is packed with such a cornucopia of win that it made my excerpting decision excessively difficult. Probably as hard as it was for Mr. Sese Seko to write the offending post. In the portion below, the former Prime Minister is focused on separate sports-centric Obama pieces from the National Review and Weekly Standard. Because, really, there is little else of consequence to discuss, and what better measure of a leader:
Taken together, the two magazines have a combined subscribership of 210,000 people. According to the current US Population Clock, that’s merely 1 in 1,472 Americans — or .0005% of America. Their impact in any truly democratic sense runs the gamut from barely discernible to meaningless. At most they are, respectively, sinecures for a man whose career relies on trading on his father’s works and a group of also-ran thinkers retreading dead old William F. Buckley and dead old Ayn Rand for a new generation of people constitutionally incapable of encountering a dissonant fact or an atmosphere without affirmation. And they have failed.
Both these outlets embrace an ideology of competition, of value as set by the marketplace. But they have never been able to survive the marketplace. Their existence has always relied on the self-interested largesse of oligopoly. That the darwinism of the marketplace they advocate would logically preclude their own existence is an irony secondary only to the Standard and Review‘s continued dependence on subsidies from the exact sorts of business interests most threatened by the readers of meaningful journalism, a market that has already evaluated their works and found them wanting.
Obama draws their petty ire because the man is a market player. He’s lived their core narrative so well as to come to dominate them. He was man of limited means and a broken family. He was hindered by a society that discriminated on race and not only earned himself a first-class education but won a state and national senatorial seat and then was elected President of the United States, at age 47. Sixty-nine million people decided he was the person most fit to lead, over a field of old-guard powers and established brands. It’s no overstatement to suggest he represents the apotheosis of the compelling leader and self-made man, the character conservatives portray in their welfare theater, the person who has a natural right to determine the future of a nation.
Hence people like the Standard and Review‘s Jeffrey Anderson and Daniel Foster’s snipes about Obama’s manliness, especially in relation to America’s National Pastime. (See more below.) Suggesting he’s not a real American man is just a genteel, Buckleyite and toned-down way of saying he isn’t even an American by birth. The first is a social assertion, and the second is a legal one, but as men who understand neither system, the notes sound the same to their dead ears. At the same time, it feeds the comforting fiction that they have not lost, that their supposedly inviolate and exclusive right to control the corridors of power has not been legitimately abridged. Obama cheated, somehow — perhaps with the complicity of the same “liberal” media eager to disappear footage of ill-tossed baseballs. He convinced everybody he’s something he’s not. He proffered and represents an ignoble lie.
In the meantime, the solution to their temporary and illegitimate setback is providing the readership with coverage of the president’s errant throwing arm and waiting for the votes to flow rightward. You know, just hanging out, being stupid and useless, caring about dumb shit, writing badly. Time to self-importantly inveigh about what makes a red-blooded American male for a hobbyist publication built out of a legacy by Bill Kristol, a second-generation New York City Jew who sounds like an inexplicably gayer Waylon Smithers and sports a smile as grotesque as the cartoon Joker’s. Better to castigate the weak of arm, limp of wrist and weak of spirit in the pages of a journal founded by William F. Buckley, a New York and Connecticut patrician whose enunciation was so affected that he sounded like Margaret Thatcher doing drag.
Kristol and Buckley couldn’t even clear brush for a photo-op on an ersatz ranch.
For those keeping score, Mr. Destructo is one of my new favorite sites. Kudos to The David Horowitz of Ex-Libertarians who first put me on to this trove.
April 28, 2010 at 8:22 am
Awesome indeed. Mobutu Sese Seko is my new hero.
April 28, 2010 at 9:08 am
“The David Horowitz of Ex-Libertarians ”
I don’t even know what that means but it still made me chuckle. It’s like a joke formula:
The Ralph Schwartz of Post-Confederalism
The Ben Saperstein of Anti-Constitutionalism
I’m not saying those examples are funny but, per my calculations, they *should* be, and who dares argue against ideological theory?
The Alan Rozenkrantz of Neo-Randism.
Damn. Back to the drawing board. There’s something I don’t understand about this process?
April 28, 2010 at 9:35 am
The answers that you seek
http://highclearing.com/index.php/archives/2010/04/21/11053
April 28, 2010 at 9:47 am
All these bright funny people. Where do they come from? How does one get to this “internet” place?
April 28, 2010 at 9:59 am
Well, it’s like a series of tubes…
April 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Oh, shit.
April 28, 2010 at 9:12 am
And I second what peorgie said. Nay, I triple it! This guy writes wicked!
April 28, 2010 at 9:17 am
“Margaret Thatcher doing drag.”
“Kristol and Buckly couldn’t even clear brush for a photo-op on an ersatz ranch.”
Is make me laff.
April 28, 2010 at 10:55 am
Hot damn! More blogs to squirm their way into my work day! :)
April 28, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Yeah cuz 2nd generation New York Jews can’t play baseball …
April 28, 2010 at 2:29 pm
With limited (and exemplary) exceptions, not necessarily a well represented demographic fwiw
April 28, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Hammerin’ Hank and Sandy both qualify for the above demographic, but curv3ball’s right in that it’s not one with large representation. In any case, my point wasn’t that Jewish-Americans can’t play baseball; that’d be silly.
I brought it up because the people who are acting as these guardians of dirty-knuckled, calloused-skin hard-workin’ Americana are avatars of precisely the group they’re happy to suggest is ruining America whenever it suits them: city-dwelling left-coast pointy-headed think-tank intellectual non-WASPs who look like the sort of people who, if you startled them, would dive for the dirt in tee-ball to avoid getting beaned. They’re claiming man’s man dominion over the home-plate dirt from a remove in the same ivory tower they damn as soon as it makes a cheap point. It’s like America via replica jerseys. It’s stupid.
Anyway, thanks for the shout-out, curv3ball. It’s much appreciated. I still blame you for the pre-war intelligence, but this’ll help me get over it eventually.
April 29, 2010 at 8:03 am
I got your point. Howsoever, THE point remains that, we are talking ordinary humans, not pro baseballers, Billy Chrystal is also a NY Jew and he’s reportedly not bad. Same with Art Garfunkel (OK suburbs). I have known MANY Brooklyn-based Jewboyz who, while not TERRIBLY athletic by NFL standards, could still hit and field in ordinary pick-up games. It is a rather poor stereotype to think all big city Jews are so terribly nebbishy (a la Woody Allen) as not to be able to compete with Real Americans at baseball. Football might be different, and as for basketball, hey, I don’t know a SINGLE whitey who can play with the boyz in the hood.
April 29, 2010 at 8:59 am
Art Garfunkel grew up in Queens IIRC. Forest Hills to be exact, again, IIRC.
Technically not a burb, but one of the five b’s.
April 29, 2010 at 10:11 am
“I got your point. Howsoever, THE point remains that, we are talking ordinary humans, not pro baseballers, Billy Chrystal is also a NY Jew and he’s reportedly not bad. Same with Art Garfunkel (OK suburbs).”
Wow, man, we’re trying to talk about REAL Americans, and the only two you can name are more of your Hollywood elites who are out of touch with the concerns of people on the ground? I said thanks but no thanks.
“It is a rather poor stereotype to think all big city Jews are so terribly nebbishy (a la Woody Allen) as not to be able to compete with Real Americans at baseball.”
Here’s the problem, man. THE point — and please forgive me here for reclaiming these capital letters from you, but I wrote the piece so I know what my point was — has nothing to do with the proficiency of individual ethnic groups at individual sports. I honestly can’t think of something that concerns me less when it comes to pro sports, which is probably why the subtle ethnic-warfare appeal of the olympics is lost on me. THE point here is depicting Bill Kristol through the lens commonly employed by his own publication. THE point is that Bill Kristol isn’t even a man by the rhetorical standards his own rag creates to write off both coasts of the country and graduates of elite coastal colleges. He’s a big city, left-coast apartment dweller who dines out with elites at $1,000-a-plate functions. He makes his money with his brains (ha!) and not his hands.
And yeah, he’s Jewish, and that got mentioned not as some abstraction of “Jews can’t play baseball,” but because his publication caters to a WASP audience and to the “good” kinds of Jews who have allied their interests with the WASP audience and do useful shit like buy F-16s. Kristol has to toe a delicate line whereby he writes off a century of *liberal* Jewish academic tradition going all the way back to Louis Brandeis while at the same time applauding the right-thinking Jews who all became neoconservative, like bombs and bulldozers and gave their sons first names that look like they were taken out of a 1950 Choate yearbook.
The hard-decision-making, furrowed-brow gritty-glancing *real* American narrative they spin is part of this marginalizing narrative. I don’t agree with or support it. THE point was that, on paper, Kristol is just as easily dismissed with his own empty archetypes as his enemies.
April 29, 2010 at 10:35 am
Jesus fucking Christ. Pretty dambed sensitive are we, to a little cultural insensitivity on your part? Yeah I got it the first time, but it still reeks of ‘we all know what nebbishes the little NY Jewboys are’. Here’s a clue: I ain’t even Jewish. But by Albert S Midvan (another Brooklyn boy, who even brought along his ca 1930s era knicker-pants) the guy, one of my profs back in the day, even in his late fifties, could still field, throw and hit.
I just called you out on it, that’s all. Fucking Christ.
April 30, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Them Jewboyz is smart enough to see baseball and basketball and football as *games*, and leave money-making to things like lawyering, doctoring, making movies and music.
April 29, 2010 at 7:50 am
I say that the reason Obama can’t throw a pitch is because baseball is for fucking pussies.
April 30, 2010 at 1:28 pm
They got groupies in baseball?!?!? Damn!
April 29, 2010 at 9:50 am
“According to the current US Population Clock, that’s merely 1 in 1,472 Americans — or .0005% of America.”
Actually 0.07% of America, but don’t let a little thing like numeracy get in your way.