I think I’m in love:
For the last sixteen months the GOP has been screaming that government is evil, that it is the problem, that we need less regulation in order to be more productive, more profitable, and that rules and oversight aren’t needed because the free market will take care of things. You know what? If the booms aren’t “effective” and the resources of BP are “not adequate” to deal with a disaster of this magnitude, then why the hell are you letting them operate offshore oil rigs off of your coastline, you jagoff? You’re the Governor, Mr. State Sovereignty Teapublican guy. Stop the drilling until this disaster is resolved, and don’t start it until you can be sure it can’t happen again.
Folks, the hand of the free market just ripped a wellhead to pieces and is completely screwing over the Gulf. It’s going to cost several billion dollars to fix. I’m sick of people saying that the magical free market will be responsible and keep anything bad from happening. Well guess what? The Upper Big Branch Mine disaster, this oil rig nightmare, and our economy back in 2008, they all got “fixed by the magical free market” where deregulation caused untold damage to our economy and hey, even killed people.
And now the Republicans are demanding that the government “fix the problem”? Screw you guys. Government is a lumbering vampiric dinosaur to you morons until you need the government to solve your problems for you. Then it’s “I demand the government does something about this!” And it’s the same Teabagger assclowns doing the loudest yelling and screaming.
Hypocritical assholes. Jindal, get your ass in gear and a mop and bucket and clean up your own mess. State’s rights! Tenth Amendment! Don’t Tread On Me! Hey Teabaggers? Get out there on the coast and help him since you hate the federal government intruding in a state matter so dearly, you hate Washington’s beltway interference. Start scrubbing.
Government is the “greatest evil of all” until a real evil pops up, an environmental disaster caused by corporate greed. Suddenly for you guys it’s nanny state time. Now you need the government’s help. Now it’s government’s responsibility to look after your needs. Now it’s time for the federal government to spend taxpayer money to help you. Now, the folks in Washington are needed instead of illegitimate tyrants who need to be deposed by a Second American Revolution.
Righteous. There’s more at the link.
May 3, 2010 at 2:56 pm
If the DNC were worth a shit, they’d be buying a few million bucks worth of ads showing every bit of footage they can find of some Teapublican asshole saying “drill baby drill.”
But they aren’t, so they won’t.
May 3, 2010 at 3:47 pm
I suspect this is because Obama recently authorized more offshore drilling, IIRC.
May 3, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Oh, yeah. There is that.
May 3, 2010 at 7:46 pm
I think this spill will have long profound effects. Remember the great depression? and then, the Dust Bowl? I fear this will be the Dust Bowl of this Gradual Depression we’re in.
Unlike 911 or Katrina, few politicos will be able to play it. Instead, it will play them.
May 3, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Hey peorgie! What happened to your sunshine barracuda!
May 3, 2010 at 7:50 pm
I know the secret code.
Profound assessment there, by the way.
May 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm
In post-postmodern Amerika, disaster play you.
May 3, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Profound! *swoon* I was just, you know, thinking about all those… people… who’ll no longer be able to turn a buck OR eat the shrimp they can’t sell because it’s DOA or toxic.
And I thought of Peter Fonda in that old old movie…
May 3, 2010 at 8:02 pm
The one with Dennis Hopper? lol
May 3, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Damn. I mean Henry. You know, I am one of the few persons over 30 living in America who’s never seen Easy Rider.
I am like a museum piece.
May 3, 2010 at 3:34 pm
It’s not going to require billions of dollars to fix, because it’s unfixable. A spill of this magnitude, a million barrels of oil every five days for two months, cannot be cleaned up in any meaningful sense.
The Gulf Coast states are screwed, the Gulf fisheries will be poisoned for a generation or more, the coastal marsh ecosystem will collapse.
And BP’s legal liability for damages is capped by law at $75 million (although they are supposed to bear the full cost of the “cleanup”).
May 3, 2010 at 3:51 pm
And we didn’t even have to melt down a nuke plant like Russia did with Chernobyl. Just one stupid offshore rig pops open, and there goes an entire array of estuaries.
May 3, 2010 at 4:16 pm
It’s okay though. Folks can still tool around in their SUVs burning $2.50/gallon gasoline whilst surveying the damage. It’ll be a hot tourist destination!
May 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm
I screwed up.
It’s a million gallons every five days, not a million barrels. A little matter of a factor of 42.
Still bad enough, but I feel pretty sheepish.
May 3, 2010 at 7:01 pm
[...] The Galt’s Gulch Self-Cleaning Oven and Other Teabaggy Wonders – [...]
May 3, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Ah bloody hell…
May 3, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Heckuva blow job, Brownie.
I’m beginning to think the republican party really is toast.
I hear Beck’s ratings are dropping fast.
Oh well, they need to get out of the way so the neo-Nazi/Fascists can take their place. I mean the real thing, with uniforms and symbols.
For a guy born in S. Carolina and fond of the South, I’m learning to loath anything remotely like a Southern accent.
peorgie, maybe yo should learn sign language?
May 3, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Hey, my accent is 1/5 southern white, 1/5 southern black, and 3/5 1960s television.
May 3, 2010 at 8:25 pm
I just… I remember Carter. Then Clinton (who, for all his many faults, tried to make good things happen).
Now all I see are these… cretins, orcs, bbq’d hobgoblin Dixiecans, and I just want to slash tires and kick ass.
May 3, 2010 at 8:26 pm
And just for contrast, most of my contemporaries — the ones who “stayed home” — are basically varying shades of 100% cracker. I don’t know what the fuck happened to them, or to me. But I’m trying really hard to keep an open mind.
May 3, 2010 at 8:36 pm
May 4, 2010 at 5:43 am
BP had its profits privately held. Sacrosanct, un fact. But the risk? Hey the PEOPLE bear that! Mostly the fisherman and tour industry folks, and then the consumer.
Socialism for the CEOs! Forwards, comrade! Under the bright shining sun of the (captive) Freier Markt!
May 4, 2010 at 6:02 am
U tawk funnee.
May 4, 2010 at 6:17 am
Just as this spill is a sign that we need to drill more to make up for the seeping oil that’s being lost, not to mention drilling more to show Obama that his clever 4-day-time-cube-tic-tac-toe ploy to ban offshore drilling won’t work on us, the Pakistani bomber is a sign that we need to kill even MORE brown people Afpakiranarabyriastan.
To show them we’re serious.
May 4, 2010 at 6:21 am
That would be *in* Afpaketc. I think I missed a tajikuzbek or something. I was never good at geology.
May 4, 2010 at 7:11 am
As long as we can get us a few of them silly wogs in Tobaccastan and Aipacistan and Teabaggistan, too.
May 4, 2010 at 12:03 pm
I don’t unnastan istan. ‘splain, pls?
May 4, 2010 at 11:58 am
I like the cut of your jib, sir. May I invite you to a friendly gentleman’s pastime?
An inside tip: place your money on the one you think will finish first. Savvy pundits from FOX have taught me that this is usually the winner, although not always (2000 prez race, for example).
May 4, 2010 at 6:02 pm
One of the best bits ever. I think I actually peed my pants a little first time I saw this, when I was 10 or 11.
“WHAT A GREAT TWIT!”
May 4, 2010 at 6:22 pm
I want to see Invasion…Body Snatchers remade with twits.
May 4, 2010 at 4:15 pm
Also, re: recent bomb duds: methinks the terror industry is feeling the recession too?
May 4, 2010 at 9:03 am
So now they’re pumping in millions of gallons of toxic “dispersants” so that the oil won’t float.
I wonder why they don’t use lye and make fucking soap.
May 4, 2010 at 10:30 am
but the oil is itself not made of fatty acid esters, or even acids. So there’s no Na salt thereof to be made.
It’s just straight chain hydrocarbons and some aromatics.
May 5, 2010 at 9:00 am
fatty acid
ob book : Richard Powers Gain
May 6, 2010 at 8:50 am
Graci, Joel. Always nice to read a first page that pleases me.
May 5, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I want to see the term teabaggery used more often. Like: That, sir, is mere teabaggery.
May 6, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I think before the Teabaggers start scrubbing, they should grab straws and start sucking. All that free market oil isn’t going to barrel itself.